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    All Games Rated D For Delicious

    | London, UK | Top

    (A coworker and I are chatting at the counter, when a guy comes up and dumps a Playstation 3
    onto the counter.)

    Customer: “It’s defective.”

    Coworker: “I’m very sorry, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Nothing happens when I plug it into my TV.”

    Coworker: “OK, let me check on one of the ones we have.”

    (My coworker takes the Playstation 3 and plugs it into a TV we have. It works fine.)

    Coworker: “It doesn’t appear to be the Playstation 3. It’s probably the TV. Would you like to bring that in for us to have a look at?”

    Customer: “Yeah. OK. I’ll bring it in later.”

    (The customer grabs the Playstation 3 and leaves. He returns a few hours later and walks up to me, alone this time.)

    Customer: “Hey, you were with the guy who served me earlier, right?”

    Me: “Yes. You have the TV, sir?”

    (The customer dumps the strangest TV ever onto the counter with the Playstation 3 beside it.)

    Customer: “Here. It’s still not working.”

    Me: *holding back laughter* “Sir, this isn’t a TV. It’s a microwave.”

    Customer: “Duh! I know that!”

    Me: “I don’t think the Playstation 3 will work on it.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because it’s a microwave. It’s used to cook food, not play games.”

    Customer: “But it has a screen. Why wouldn’t it work?”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Homeland Insecurity

    , | Santa Cruz, CA, USA |

    (I’m ringing up a man who is buying a new laptop.)

    Customer: “So, what are your ethnicities?”

    (This question didn’t strike me as odd, as people have wondered in the past.)

    Me: “Half European and half Middle Eastern.”

    Customer: “Oh, so like one of those terrorists…. just watered-down.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m not watered-down, sir.” *holds out his receipt, smirking*

    (The customer looks a bit freaked, grabs his receipt and takes off quickly with his stuff–except for his credit card.)

    Coming Soon: Laptop Loofas

    , | Philadelphia, PA, USA |

    Customer #1: “This cell phone doesn’t work anymore. I want you to replace it.”

    Me: “When did it stop working?”

    Customer #1: “After I brought it in the shower.”

    Me: “If it got wet, it’s probably not going to work at all, and it won’t be covered by the warranty.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t understand. If it doesn’t work anymore, you’re supposed to replace it. It should work in the shower.”

    Me: “Well, no. Like any piece of electronics, it’s not going to work if you get it wet. Would you bring your laptop in the shower?”

    Customer #2: *interjecting* “I bring my laptop into the shower all the time.”

    Me: *facepalm*

    A Swing And A Miss

    , | Saskatchewan, Canada |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****. How may I direct your call?”

    Caller: “Electronics, please.”

    Me: “We’re an electronics store, ma’am. Could you be more specific?”

    Caller: “Umm…just one moment.”

    (She hangs up. Five minutes later, she calls back.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****. How may I direct your call?”

    Caller: “Electronics DEPARTMENT, please.”

    Me: “…”

    Geography, My Arch Nemesis, We Meet Again…

    , | San Jose, CA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling **** at Santana Row. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Your stores are having midnight releases for ‘World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King’, right?”

    Me: “Yes, certain locations are going to be open, but our store–”

    Customer: *interrupting* “It’s already midnight in the East coast – you can’t you sell them now?”

    Me: “Uhh… unfortunately not.”

    Customer: “BUT WHY?! IT’S MIDNIGHT IN THE EAST COAST!”

    Me: “Well, it’s not midnight here, so, NO, we can’t sell it.”

    Customer: “But people will be leveling up before me!! AGHHH! This is bulls***!”

    Me: “Either way, our location isn’t going to be open for the midnight release. The closest location that will be open for the midnight release is 45 minutes away.”

    Customer: “So if I go there, they should be selling them?!”

    Me: “Probably not. They’re still on Pacific Standard Time.”

    Customer: “What should I do then?! Everyone on the East coast will have a head start!”

    Me: “Maybe you should move to the East Coast.”

    Customer: “What time are you closing?”

    Me: “10:00 pm.”

    Customer: “I’m coming right now!”

    Me: “Ok…?”


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