I am troubleshooting a woman’s computer. After verifying her problems, I tell her the bad news and let her know what is wrong with her computer.
Customer: *Getting in my face* “You’re just trying to take my money! You think I’m stupid because I’m a woman!”
Me: “My fiancée is the regional tech manager for this whole company.”
Customer: “I want to speak to your supervisor!”
Me: “Let me just get her.”
She lost it.
We sell kitchen and household appliances, including irons. I am serving a customer when another customer angrily storms up to me and throws a box on the counter. It contains an iron.
Angry Customer: “You sold me this useless piece of s*** and now you’re going to get me a better one for free, and you’re going to give me a refund!”
Me: “Ma’am, I am serving another customer at the moment. If you could please either wait, or go to the customer service desk—”
Angry Customer: “No! It was you who sold this to me, so it’s you that’s gonna fix it!”
I give a pained look at my customer, who gives me a sympathetic nod in return.
Me: “Okay, ma’am, what’s the problem with your iron?”
Angry Customer: “You told me this thing had ‘auto-steam’ technology, but it doesn’t! It doesn’t steam anything!”
Me: “Ma’am, I remember. I explained that the ‘auto-steam’ effect isn’t the same as when you manually press the button to force extra steam out. It’s a much quieter and subtler effect and you might not notice it happening.”
Angry Customer: “Bull-s***! You’re just making up fancy words to charge me more for an iron that doesn’t do anything special!”
Me: “It’s a feature that’s listed on the box, ma’am.”
Angry Customer: “I want a refund on this one, and I want a better iron for free!”
I am about to start the refund process, when my current customer interjects, talking to the angry customer.
Customer: “It sounds like you weren’t using the right water.”
Angry Customer: “What do you mean?”
Customer: “I mean I use a similar iron, and I put Volvic water in mine. It means the steam is fruit flavored and all my clothes smell lovely.”
Angry Customer: “Wait, really?”
Customer: “Yes, absolutely! Just go home and put some fruity Volvic water in there, and it’ll fix everything.”
Angry Customer: “Thanks! I will!”
And almost as quickly as she arrived, she packed up her things and left.
Me: “I don’t think what you said is true.”
Customer: “Oh, absolutely not. In fact, putting in water with sugary ingredients is just going to caramelize the sugar, ruin her iron, and hopefully her clothes.”
Me: “I thought as much, but you do realize that she’s just going to come back here and complain to us even louder when that happens?”
Customer: “She was screaming and complaining anyway? At least this way there’s some revenge.”
I personally couldn’t condone what my customer did, but I didn’t feel too compelled to fight it, either. At least when she comes back to complain we can say she was following the unsolicited advice of another customer, and not that of the staff!
I have just finished training at this large electronics store. An older couple has come in to buy a cheap TV, and they’ve made it clear that they don’t need anything fancy or huge, so I don’t try to upsell them anything. I go into the back to make sure we have one in stock for them to take away today.
Me: *To the manager* “Do we have any [Cheap TV]s ready to go?”
Manager: “Did the customer get a warranty on that?”
Me: “No, they’re not interested.”
Manager: “Tell them we don’t have any in stock.”
Me: “Oh, I thought we did.”
Manager: “Oh, we do, but those are pretty low-margin TVs. If the customers don’t want a warranty on it, then tell them we just sold the last one.”
I was horrified.
That was when I found out that the managers got a bonus based on the ratio of warranty plans to purchases.
I sold that old couple their TV, I got a talking-down-to from the manager, and then I quit — but not before letting upper management know just how our store was able to maintain such competitive warranty percentages.
A guy in his early twenties has come into our computer store with his grandmother.
Customer: “I need a laptop for my grandma. She wants to get one for video-calling, emailing, and YouTube, and that’s it, so we just need it to be super simple.
Customer’s Grandmother: “You forgot to tell them that I need internet! You said you knew what you were talking about!”
Customer: “Yes, grandma, we got you internet at home already, remember? The computer we buy will connect to it.”
Customer’s Grandmother: *Gesturing at me.* “Well obviously I know that, but do they?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am, I do.”
Customer: “Anyway as I was saying, I just need something simple, basic specs only. But emphasis on simple.”
Me: “I think we can find something for you. If you come with me I can—”
Customer’s Grandmother: “I need the ones with the screens! And the movey-clickey thing! You didn’t tell them that!”
Customer: “Yes, grandma, we told you it’s called a laptop – it’ll come with the screen. And we already got you the movey-clickey thing at home, the pink one you liked, remember? It’s called a mouse.”
Customer’s Grandmother: *Again, gesturing at me.* “Well obviously I know that, but do they?”
Me: “I do, ma’am.”
We look at a few basic laptops that should suit the customer and his grandmother’s needs, with all the operating systems set up. With every point made the grandmother interrupts to make sure we understand what she needs while usually completely missing the point of what we’re actually saying. The grandson is being very patient!
Me: “Excuse me, sir, but for customers who feel they need it, we also offer a service where one of our techs will set up the computer or laptop at the customer’s home, and help them install any software or services they might need. Is that something you—”
Customer’s Grandson: *Zero hesitation.* “—YES!”
Customer: “My printer stopped working! You sold me a bad printer!”
Me: “What is the issue?”
Customer: “I keep trying to print but nothing happens! It just keeps showing me a picture of an empty bucket.”
Me: “That means it’s out of ink.”
Customer: “What does that mean?”
Me: “It means you need to replace the ink so that you can print again. We can sell you some replacements.”
Customer: “What? No! I don’t want to replace my printer! I just want it to start working again.”
Me: “No, sir, I don’t mean you need to replace the printer, you just need to buy some more ink for it.”
Customer: “I don’t understand.”
Me: “It’s like when you fill up your car, sir. You fill it up with gasoline, and then you drive, and then when it runs out you fill it up again. A printer is the same.”
Customer: “So I need to put gas into my printer?”
Me: “No, not gas. Ink.”
Customer: “I don’t want to put gas into my printer! I just want it to print! Why is that so hard?”
Me: “Sir… you need to buy ink. When you print, the printer is putting ink on to the paper. The ink will eventually run out, and when it does you need to buy more.”
Customer: “My printer uses ink?”
Me: “Yes, sir.”
Customer: “But I don’t want it to. I just want it to print.”
Me: “That’s impossible, sir.”
Customer: “I don’t understand.”
Me: “No, obviously you don’t.”
He eventually got it… eventually.
