Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Go Easy On The Brain
    (1,928 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    One Ink To Rule Them All

    | Burlington, ON, Canada |

    Customer: “I’d like a cartridge for my printer, please.”

    Me: “Yes, of course. Which one would you like?”

    Customer: “The one for my printer.”

    Me: “Which printer is it?”

    Customer: “The one that sits on my desk.”

    Me: “What type of printer is it?”

    Customer: “The one that sits on my desk.”

    Me: “Do you know the type or the cartridge number? Did you bring the cartridge with you?”

    Customer: “No. It sits on my desk. You must know which one it is!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t. All of these cartridges are for different types of printers, and I’ll need to know what type of printer you have.”

    Customer: “It sits at my desk! You have to know! I bought it here last year!”

    Me: “We sell hundreds of printers each year. Is it HP, Lexmark, or Epson?”

    Customer: “Look, I bought it here! I need a cartridge and I want it for the printer that sits on my desk!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but unless you know the kind of printer you have, I can’t help you.”

    Customer: “What horrible service! I’m never coming back here again!” *storms out*

    Wired For The Stone Age

    , | San Luis Obispo, CA, USA | Top

    (I walk up to an older man playing with an iPhone in our electronics store.)

    Me: “Hello sir, do you need any help?”

    Customer: “Naw, but I was wondering…why does this darn thing work with my finger, but not my fingernails?”

    Me: “Well, your body has electricity running through it, but your fingernails don’t conduct–”

    Customer: “Electricity in my body? My body?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. We all have electricity running through our bodies.”

    Customer: “This is outrageous! D*** technology! We didn’t have that s*** prancin’ around our bodies in back in my day!”

    Me: “Sir, we’ve always–”

    Customer: “Forget it! What’s the d*** world coming to?” *walks away mumbling*

    That’s One Giant Jump To Conclusions For Mankind

    | Oregon, USA |

    (At our electronics store, we had a stand with a WALL-E cut-out that talked when someone walked by it.)

    Movie Display: “Oooooooooh.”

    Customer: “What the–sir, SIR!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “That robot just moo’d at me.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “That robot over there, he’s made fun of me because I’m fat by saying ‘MOOOOOOO’.”

    Me: “Ma’am, it did not moo at you. It said ‘oooooh’. It has a sensor there for when people walk by it, making one of five pre-recorded sounds.”

    Customer: *infuriated* “No! It moo’d at me! You two are covering for each other to make fun of my appearance!”

    Double The 60Hz, Double The Fun

    , | Panama City, FL, USA | Top

    (I notice an elderly couple in my department, browsing TVs.)

    Me: “Welcome to [electronics store]. Is there anything I can help you find today?”

    Husband: “Yes, we’re looking for a 46″ TV, but we aren’t sure what kind we need. Can you help us?”

    Me: “Certainly. First off, what will you mostly be watching? Sports, movies, video games?”

    Husband: “Mostly porn.”

    Wife: “Oh, don’t tell him that!”

    Me: “Well, then I suppose we’ll be needing an LCD with motion processing.”

    Wife: “Why’s that?”

    Me: “Well, we wouldn’t want it to blur during the good parts…”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

    Two For The Price Of Dumb

    | Grand Junction, CO, USA |

    Customer: “I saw this same cord at [competitor] for $15. Why is it $20 here?”

    Me: “I don’t know, maybe they’re having a sale? I don’t set the prices.”

    Customer: “Well, will you price match?”

    Me: “If you can provide documentation, sure, I’ll do it.”

    Customer: “So if I bring in the receipt that shows $15 at [competitor], I can get it here for $15?”

    Me: “…so you want to go to [competitor], buy it for $15, and then come here to buy it again so that we can match their price?”

    Customer: “Yes. Will you match that?”

    Me: “Sure, why not?”

    Page 15/22First...1314151617...Last