Too Cool For School (Of Thought)

| Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hey, how we doing today?”

Customer: “I have a question.”

Me: “Okay, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “If  I buy a phone from you guys, do I still have to pay for the service?”

Me: “Yes, we deal with the contracts for the providers.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought you guys were cooler than that…”

Cheap Computers Are Not Enough Of A Steal

, | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I need to get a 7 inch screen computer that will fit on my lap when I use it. Please, sell me one now!”

Me: “I’d be happy to help you find a laptop.”

Customer: “Well first off, I don’t want a laptop. I want a computer with a 7-inch screen that can sit on my lap while I’m using it.”

Me: “Okay, follow me sir.”

(I find him his computer. A few hours pass and the customer leaves holding a small box in his arms. The alarm sounds as he leaves the building. I rush up and bring him back inside.)

Customer: “What is all this about! I stole nothing! I bought this computer! I paid for it just a minute ago!”

Me: *searching his things* “Sir, you have a wireless mouse, 3 CD’s, 2 DVD’s, a camera, and a portable radio hidden in your jacket. You can’t just walk out of here without paying for those.”

Customer: “But I bought the computer!”

One Adapter To Plug Them All

, | Washington, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need an adapter.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what kind of adapter?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one?”

Un-Four-tunate Inch-uendo

, | Portland, OR, USA | Top

(I am selling a TV to a middle aged man and his wife.)

Me: “So it’s between the 32 and the 36 inch TV, right?”

Husband: “Yes, but I don’t understand the difference between them.”

Me: “Well, they have the same specs all the way down the line. One is just bigger.”

Husband: “Who in the h*** would pay almost $350 more for four more inches?”

Wife: “I would!”

Jesus On The Dance Floor

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, you guys shouldn’t have this DVD on the shelf! It’s very inappropriate!”

(The customer hands me a copy of “Jesus Christ: Superstar”.)

Me: “What’s so bad about it?”

Customer: “It is inappropriate to portray the son of God like this! He is not a rockstar!”

Me: “Okay. Well, you can submit a complaint with our corporate office, because I can’t control what gets put on our shelves.”

Customer: “Okay, well I’m definitely adding in the fact that this DVD was horribly placed!”

Me: “Where was it?”

Customer: “It was on the floor! The son of God should not be on the floor!”

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