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    You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2

    , | Fort Myers, FL, USA |

    Customer: “Why do you people keep calling me!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Ever since I bought this blasted phone the only phone calls I have gotten are from you people! I want you to stop calling me!”

    Me: “I’m not sure what-”

    Customer: “You know exactly what I’m talking about! How can you be so rude as to call someone’s house to bother them? Other people are trying to get through and are complaining to me because they aren’t getting a hold of me at home!”

    Me: “Do you have it with you?”

    Customer: “YES!” *pulls the phone out of purse* “LOOK! Right there! It’s your people’s number! It’s so rude!”

    (When you buy the phones, they have a sticker over the caller ID screen with our 1800 number on it. She hands me the phone with the sticker still on it.)

    Me: “It’s okay, ma’am, we haven’t been calling you, there’s simply this sticker on the screen.”

    Customer: “Why aren’t you answering my question?”

    Me: *removes the sticker* “See? It was just a sticker. That’s all it was…”

    Customer: “So the number isn’t on the phone now?”

    Me: “Nope, our number won’t be on your phone anymore.”

    Customer: “Does this mean you people will leave me alone?”

    Me: “Yes, I promise our corporate headquarters will stop calling you now.”

    Customer: “Ok, thank you!”

    Related:
    You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number

    One Ink To Rule Them All

    | Burlington, ON, Canada |

    Customer: “I’d like a cartridge for my printer, please.”

    Me: “Yes, of course. Which one would you like?”

    Customer: “The one for my printer.”

    Me: “Which printer is it?”

    Customer: “The one that sits on my desk.”

    Me: “What type of printer is it?”

    Customer: “The one that sits on my desk.”

    Me: “Do you know the type or the cartridge number? Did you bring the cartridge with you?”

    Customer: “No. It sits on my desk. You must know which one it is!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t. All of these cartridges are for different types of printers, and I’ll need to know what type of printer you have.”

    Customer: “It sits at my desk! You have to know! I bought it here last year!”

    Me: “We sell hundreds of printers each year. Is it HP, Lexmark, or Epson?”

    Customer: “Look, I bought it here! I need a cartridge and I want it for the printer that sits on my desk!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but unless you know the kind of printer you have, I can’t help you.”

    Customer: “What horrible service! I’m never coming back here again!” *storms out*

    Wired For The Stone Age

    , | San Luis Obispo, CA, USA | Top

    (I walk up to an older man playing with an iPhone in our electronics store.)

    Me: “Hello sir, do you need any help?”

    Customer: “Naw, but I was wondering…why does this darn thing work with my finger, but not my fingernails?”

    Me: “Well, your body has electricity running through it, but your fingernails don’t conduct–”

    Customer: “Electricity in my body? My body?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. We all have electricity running through our bodies.”

    Customer: “This is outrageous! D*** technology! We didn’t have that s*** prancin’ around our bodies in back in my day!”

    Me: “Sir, we’ve always–”

    Customer: “Forget it! What’s the d*** world coming to?” *walks away mumbling*

    That’s One Giant Jump To Conclusions For Mankind

    | Oregon, USA |

    (At our electronics store, we had a stand with a WALL-E cut-out that talked when someone walked by it.)

    Movie Display: “Oooooooooh.”

    Customer: “What the–sir, SIR!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “That robot just moo’d at me.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “That robot over there, he’s made fun of me because I’m fat by saying ‘MOOOOOOO’.”

    Me: “Ma’am, it did not moo at you. It said ‘oooooh’. It has a sensor there for when people walk by it, making one of five pre-recorded sounds.”

    Customer: *infuriated* “No! It moo’d at me! You two are covering for each other to make fun of my appearance!”

    Double The 60Hz, Double The Fun

    , | Panama City, FL, USA | Top

    (I notice an elderly couple in my department, browsing TVs.)

    Me: “Welcome to [electronics store]. Is there anything I can help you find today?”

    Husband: “Yes, we’re looking for a 46″ TV, but we aren’t sure what kind we need. Can you help us?”

    Me: “Certainly. First off, what will you mostly be watching? Sports, movies, video games?”

    Husband: “Mostly porn.”

    Wife: “Oh, don’t tell him that!”

    Me: “Well, then I suppose we’ll be needing an LCD with motion processing.”

    Wife: “Why’s that?”

    Me: “Well, we wouldn’t want it to blur during the good parts…”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic


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