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  • Cheap Computers Are Not Enough Of A Steal

    , | Minneapolis, MN, USA |

    Customer: “I need to get a 7 inch screen computer that will fit on my lap when I use it. Please, sell me one now!”

    Me: “I’d be happy to help you find a laptop.”

    Customer: “Well first off, I don’t want a laptop. I want a computer with a 7-inch screen that can sit on my lap while I’m using it.”

    Me: “Okay, follow me sir.”

    (I find him his computer. A few hours pass and the customer leaves holding a small box in his arms. The alarm sounds as he leaves the building. I rush up and bring him back inside.)

    Customer: “What is all this about! I stole nothing! I bought this computer! I paid for it just a minute ago!”

    Me: *searching his things* “Sir, you have a wireless mouse, 3 CD’s, 2 DVD’s, a camera, and a portable radio hidden in your jacket. You can’t just walk out of here without paying for those.”

    Customer: “But I bought the computer!”

    One Adapter To Plug Them All

    , | Washington, USA |

    Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need an adapter.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, what kind of adapter?”

    Customer: “You mean there’s more than one?”

    Un-Four-tunate Inch-uendo

    , | Portland, OR, USA | Top

    (I am selling a TV to a middle aged man and his wife.)

    Me: “So it’s between the 32 and the 36 inch TV, right?”

    Husband: “Yes, but I don’t understand the difference between them.”

    Me: “Well, they have the same specs all the way down the line. One is just bigger.”

    Husband: “Who in the h*** would pay almost $350 more for four more inches?”

    Wife: “I would!”

    Jesus On The Dance Floor

    , | Calgary, AB, Canada |

    Customer: “Hey, you guys shouldn’t have this DVD on the shelf! It’s very inappropriate!”

    (The customer hands me a copy of “Jesus Christ: Superstar”.)

    Me: “What’s so bad about it?”

    Customer: “It is inappropriate to portray the son of God like this! He is not a rockstar!”

    Me: “Okay. Well, you can submit a complaint with our corporate office, because I can’t control what gets put on our shelves.”

    Customer: “Okay, well I’m definitely adding in the fact that this DVD was horribly placed!”

    Me: “Where was it?”

    Customer: “It was on the floor! The son of God should not be on the floor!”

    You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2

    , | Fort Myers, FL, USA |

    Customer: “Why do you people keep calling me!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Ever since I bought this blasted phone the only phone calls I have gotten are from you people! I want you to stop calling me!”

    Me: “I’m not sure what-”

    Customer: “You know exactly what I’m talking about! How can you be so rude as to call someone’s house to bother them? Other people are trying to get through and are complaining to me because they aren’t getting a hold of me at home!”

    Me: “Do you have it with you?”

    Customer: “YES!” *pulls the phone out of purse* “LOOK! Right there! It’s your people’s number! It’s so rude!”

    (When you buy the phones, they have a sticker over the caller ID screen with our 1800 number on it. She hands me the phone with the sticker still on it.)

    Me: “It’s okay, ma’am, we haven’t been calling you, there’s simply this sticker on the screen.”

    Customer: “Why aren’t you answering my question?”

    Me: *removes the sticker* “See? It was just a sticker. That’s all it was…”

    Customer: “So the number isn’t on the phone now?”

    Me: “Nope, our number won’t be on your phone anymore.”

    Customer: “Does this mean you people will leave me alone?”

    Me: “Yes, I promise our corporate headquarters will stop calling you now.”

    Customer: “Ok, thank you!”

    Related:
    You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number

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