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    Too Cool For School (Of Thought)

    | Illinois, USA |

    Me: “Hey, how we doing today?”

    Customer: “I have a question.”

    Me: “Okay, what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “If  I buy a phone from you guys, do I still have to pay for the service?”

    Me: “Yes, we deal with the contracts for the providers.”

    Customer: “Oh. I thought you guys were cooler than that…”

    Cheap Computers Are Not Enough Of A Steal

    , | Minneapolis, MN, USA |

    Customer: “I need to get a 7 inch screen computer that will fit on my lap when I use it. Please, sell me one now!”

    Me: “I’d be happy to help you find a laptop.”

    Customer: “Well first off, I don’t want a laptop. I want a computer with a 7-inch screen that can sit on my lap while I’m using it.”

    Me: “Okay, follow me sir.”

    (I find him his computer. A few hours pass and the customer leaves holding a small box in his arms. The alarm sounds as he leaves the building. I rush up and bring him back inside.)

    Customer: “What is all this about! I stole nothing! I bought this computer! I paid for it just a minute ago!”

    Me: *searching his things* “Sir, you have a wireless mouse, 3 CD’s, 2 DVD’s, a camera, and a portable radio hidden in your jacket. You can’t just walk out of here without paying for those.”

    Customer: “But I bought the computer!”

    One Adapter To Plug Them All

    , | Washington, USA |

    Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need an adapter.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, what kind of adapter?”

    Customer: “You mean there’s more than one?”

    Un-Four-tunate Inch-uendo

    , | Portland, OR, USA | Top

    (I am selling a TV to a middle aged man and his wife.)

    Me: “So it’s between the 32 and the 36 inch TV, right?”

    Husband: “Yes, but I don’t understand the difference between them.”

    Me: “Well, they have the same specs all the way down the line. One is just bigger.”

    Husband: “Who in the h*** would pay almost $350 more for four more inches?”

    Wife: “I would!”

    Jesus On The Dance Floor

    , | Calgary, AB, Canada |

    Customer: “Hey, you guys shouldn’t have this DVD on the shelf! It’s very inappropriate!”

    (The customer hands me a copy of “Jesus Christ: Superstar”.)

    Me: “What’s so bad about it?”

    Customer: “It is inappropriate to portray the son of God like this! He is not a rockstar!”

    Me: “Okay. Well, you can submit a complaint with our corporate office, because I can’t control what gets put on our shelves.”

    Customer: “Okay, well I’m definitely adding in the fact that this DVD was horribly placed!”

    Me: “Where was it?”

    Customer: “It was on the floor! The son of God should not be on the floor!”


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