Me: “So, your total comes to $47.63.”

(The customer swipes their card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it seems your card was declined.”

Customer: “Declined? Why?”

Me: “It says here because of ‘insufficient funds’.”

Customer: “But what does that even mean?”

Customer: “I will take one of these.” *points to a small white microwave oven*

Me: “Certainly, sir. Come right this way.”

(The customer goes to the checkout counter and pays for goods.)

Customer: “So, will I need an antenna for this?”

(I am helping a customer apply for financing to purchase some items.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Your application was denied.”

Customer: “Wow. I really didn’t expect that.”

Me: “Well, they’re a lot stricter with who they give credit to because of the recession.”

Customer: “The what?”

Me: “The recession.”

(Customer looks very confused.)

Me: “Hundreds of people foreclosed on their houses. The government had to pay billions of dollars to bail out the banks.”

Customer: *shrugging shoulders* “Hmm. Well, I must have missed that!”

Me: “Hey, how we doing today?”

Customer: “I have a question.”

Me: “Okay, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “If  I buy a phone from you guys, do I still have to pay for the service?”

Me: “Yes, we deal with the contracts for the providers.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought you guys were cooler than that…”

Customer: “I need to get a 7 inch screen computer that will fit on my lap when I use it. Please, sell me one now!”

Me: “I’d be happy to help you find a laptop.”

Customer: “Well first off, I don’t want a laptop. I want a computer with a 7-inch screen that can sit on my lap while I’m using it.”

Me: “Okay, follow me sir.”

(I find him his computer. A few hours pass and the customer leaves holding a small box in his arms. The alarm sounds as he leaves the building. I rush up and bring him back inside.)

Customer: “What is all this about! I stole nothing! I bought this computer! I paid for it just a minute ago!”

Me: *searching his things* “Sir, you have a wireless mouse, 3 CD’s, 2 DVD’s, a camera, and a portable radio hidden in your jacket. You can’t just walk out of here without paying for those.”

Customer: “But I bought the computer!”