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    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 4

    , | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    (I am shopping at a store I used to work at and am approached by several customers before I realize I am wearing the same blue/khaki colors as in their uniform. I am trying to find something when I am approached by an angry lady.)

    Customer: “The TV you sold me isn’t working!”

    Me: “I don’t work–”

    Customer: “You have no idea what you’re talking about and sold me a horrible TV. I demand to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Fine, go find him.”

    Customer: “Really? Is that how you’re going to handle this? Fine, I will!”

    (I go back to shopping but watch her walk around to find my former manager. She returns with him in tow.)

    Customer: “He’s the one that sold me the broken TV last week, and now he’s being rude. You need to do something about him.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, he hasn’t worked here in almost a year. He–”

    Customer: “I want him fired.”

    Manager: “Uh, okay, you’re fired.”

    Me: “Cool, see you later, man.”

    Customer: *smug, evil look*

    Me: *goes back to shopping*

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 3
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 2
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here

    Not The Usual Third Wheel

    | Rochester, NY, USA |

    (I am the only girl on a team of 5-6 working in a computer repair store. There are always a few “regulars” that came in to seek help from me.)

    Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”

    Customer: “Yes.” *pause* “It’s my computer…”

    Me: “Okay, what’s wrong?”

    Customer: “Um, actually I was wondering if you would like to go get dinner or coffee or something sometime?”

    Me: “Sir, I am married. Now, what is wrong with your computer?”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “What does being married have to do with going out?”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “Oh, okay, fine! He can come too!”

    Going From Positive To Negative

    , | Singapore | Top

    (This happens after I help an old lady with a home theater system for over an hour and a half, explaining every little detail and giving her a demo.)

    Customer: “Thank you very much, young lady. I’m sorry for taking too much of your time.”

    Me: “You’re welcome. No worries. It’s my pleasure to help you.”

    Customer: “I know some of my questions are stupid, but you are very patient.”

    Me: “Not a problem at all. Some of these things can be very confusing, even for myself, and I work here!”

    Customer: “I should give a compliment letter about you.”

    Me: “Wow, thanks very much. You can do that at the cashier. Oh, by the way–the remote control doesn’t have any batteries. Should we go get them now? It will save you a trip.”

    Customer: “That’s a great idea!”

    (We proceed to go to the battery section of the store.)

    Me: “So, here we are, you need two AAs.”

    Customer: “Do you have the [brand] ones?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry. I think we just ran out. We have other brands though. Would you like to try?”

    Customer: “You and your f***ing store! I’ve never received such terrible service! This is the reason why people don’t go back here! I will have you fired! You will never work again!”

    Me: *speechless*

    So Good It’s Not Even There, Part 2

    | Essex, UK | Technology

    Customer: “I need a printer cable.”

    Me: “Just a regular power cable?”

    Customer: “No, not one of those. One to go from my printer to my laptop.”

    Me: “Oh, you mean a USB cable?”

    Customer: “Yeah, a USB cable, that’s it. That is wireless, yeah?”

    Related:
    So Good It’s Not Even There

    The Birds, The Bees, And The Brutally Honest

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    (A little boy is wandering around unattended, touching all the TVs.)

    Me: “Where’s your mom or dad?”

    Boy: “Well, my mom’s over there.” *points to mother*

    Me: “Okay, why don’t you go over to her?”

    Boy: “Yeah, sure. By the way, I don’t know who my dad is. My mom was a hooker.”


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