Email Fail, Part 3

| ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Technology

(An older man is with a boy about the age of eight. I assume it’s his grandson.)

Me: “Would you like to sign up to have our coupons emailed to you?”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

Me: “Okay.”

Grandson: “He doesn’t even have Internet! Slow down with the emails!”

Related:
Email Fail, Part 2
Email Fail

Not Playing Games With The Game

| Denmark | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in returns and customer service for a large electronics retailer in Denmark. A customer enters with a desktop PC, and I can tell, before he even opens his mouth, that he is going to be trouble:)

Customer: “I bought this gaming PC and it’s supposed to be the shit and hardcore and everything, but I installed a game and it’s lagging and I want a new computer.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a problem; but let me just see if I can’t figure out what the problem is.”

(I take the PC out back and hook it up. Once it booted, I noticed a single game icon on the desktop. I started the game and sure enough, it was sluggish and unstable. Going on a hunch, I looked at which programs are running and found exactly what I was looking for. I pack up the computer and go back to the customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m unable to help you with your problem, as the game is a pirated version.”

Customer: “What? This is total bull-s***. I bought this game yesterday from this store and it runs like s***.”

Me: “First of all, this game is three years old and not currently available in our store. And secondly, I can see from your µTorrent download list, that you are currently seeding the game, which is illegal. I cannot help you any further.”

(The customer hits the roof and starts ranting:)

Customer: “What? You won’t help me? What am I supposed to do with this piece of s*** computer now? It doesn’t work! Fix it.”

Me: “As I explained, I cannot help you with issues pertaining to pirated software. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to figure this out on your own.”

Customer: “I’ll just go buy an extended warranty and then smash the computer in the parking lot. You’ll have to give me a new one.”

(I try explaining to him that such abuse won’t be covered by the warranty, but he won’t listen. So while he walks inside the store carrying his PC, I calmly add a note to his receipt:)

Note: “This customer expressed intent to purchase an extended warranty for his PC and then deliberately smash the item, in order to get a refund.”

(10 minutes later I see the customer kicking his PC across the parking lot. I immediately look up recent receipts in the system and find a note on his extended warranty:)

Note: “This customer has been advised that smashing his PC intentionally will void the extended warranty, but he was adamant. We sold him the warranty, but can’t wait to refuse his claim.

(And yes, the security camera caught his little parking lot tirade.)

Not-So-Smart TV

| TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work for a popular electronics store. A customer comes in looking for a [Brand #1] TV. Another associate brings up the TV to customer service for me to ring out. She decides to sign up for our store credit-card to get a discount.)

Me: “I’ll just need you to enter you social on the pin pad.”

Customer: “Okay.” *enters social*

Me: “All right, now it’s going to ask for your yearly income.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m not doing that. That’s confidential. I don’t want to do this.”

(Internally I was wondering how her income was confidential, but her social was not. I backed out and proceeded to ring her up. The transaction was finished.)

Customer: “Now, [Brand #1] IS made in Japan, right?”

Me: “Either Japan or China. I’m not positive. But I can find out.”

Customer: “Yeah, find out. I don’t want it if it’s made in China. I need to see on the box that it says made in Japan.”

Coworker: “It says right here: made in China.”

Customer: “I don’t want it.”

Me: “Okay, I can undo the transaction. That’s fine.”

Customer: “Find me one that’s made in America.”

Me: “I doubt that anything we have will be made in America, but I’ll go look.”

(Customer follows me to our home theater department. We find a [Brand #2] that says ‘made in California, U.S., assembled in Mexico.’)

Customer: “I’ll take this one. I guess it’s okay that it’s assembled in Mexico. I mean Mexico is part of the United States. Like New Mexico.”

Me: “Um… Well, actually… Yeah… Anyway, are you sure you want this one? It’s a smart TV, and you told me you don’t have Internet.”

Customer: “Yes, I want this one.”

(I take the TV back to customer service.)

Customer: “So just void that old transaction. I don’t want an exchange. I need it voided for my banking, and you may not be here.”

(No idea what that even means, but I void the transaction and ring up the new TV. My manager overhears her talking about not wanting anything made in China. He proceeds to jump in and tell her that all our TV’s have Chinese parts in them.)

Customer: “Are you serious? Well… the [Brand #2] will still be better right? Since it’s assembled in Mexico, and that’s in the United States.”

Manager: “Uh… well… no.  [Brand #1] is traditionally better.”

Customer: “Well, maybe I’ll get the [Brand #1].”

(My manager, not understanding what he was getting himself into, proceeds to try and sell her on a warranty by explaining that there’s a chip powering these TVs and lightning can destroy them easily, and our plan covers that.)

Customer: “Oh… wow… So what you’re saying is none of these TVs are any good?”

Manager: “No, no, I’m saying any of them can be destroyed. Our plan will cover it as long as it’s not physically damaged.”

Customer: “Oh, lord, no. That wouldn’t happen. I’m single.”

(My manager finally wises up and walks away. I ring up the extra warranty.)

Me: “Okay, now, your phone number again. It was—”

Customer: “Shh! Don’t say it out loud!”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “People are everywhere listening to get your information. I’ll write it down.”

(The customer finally leaves with the [Brand #1] she initially bought. Later that night she calls back.)

Customer: “I’m trying to register my TV, but it wants an email address. I don’t have one. I wanted to see if I could use yours…”

Adamant To The Watery Grave

| Reno, NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am a bystander in a well-known electronics store, waiting my turn to be helped by the repair counter. There is a couple ahead of me, having the woman’s phone examined.)

Tech: *showing them with a flashlight* “As you can see, the moisture indicator is dark red, which means there’s water damage and we can’t repair the phone.”

Customer: “What?! Water damage?! That’s ridiculous! I’ve never even taken it anywhere NEAR any water!”

Tech: “I’m sure that’s the case; however, we can’t fix the phone.”

(With much emphasis on how this wasn’t her fault, the woman begrudgingly decides to get a new phone.)

Customer: “And you have to transfer the pictures. There are SO MANY pictures on there.”

Tech: “Well, since I can’t connect it to the computer, I unfortunately can’t do that for you. Unless you have them backed up on your computer at home?”

Customer: “I don’t do that! Can’t you just wifi them over? Why can’t you do that?! I’m telling you, there’s no way there’s water damage! It’s never even come into the bathroom with me!”

(The very patient tech explains the situation, several times, and finally goes to the back to make the switch. The woman turns to her husband.)

Customer: “I can’t believe it! And that had all the pictures on it from our trip to the beach, too!”

Very Closed Minded

| Boston, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Time

(I’m the idiot customer this time around. I needed to get some supplies for my computer, and thought the local store was open until 10 pm. It’s currently 8:55 pm when I enter.)

Security: “Oh, we’re getting ready to close.”

Me: “Huh? It’s 8:55.”

Security: “We close at 9. Hope you’re quick!”

Me: *starting to dash* “Watch me.”

(I make a mad dash through the otherwise empty store as fast as I can go, grabbing my three items and running to the register. Timestamp on the receipt: 8:59pm.)

Cashier: “You used to work retail, huh?”

Me: “Yup, and I would’ve kicked my own a** if I took too long!”

(The staff laughed and gave a brief cheer as I, the last customer of the evening, was out the door at nine on the nose.)

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