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    Pretend You Weren’t Listening

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (I work in an electronics store and we sell speakers and sound bars for TVs. We sometimes sell our display units if we are out of stock. One of my coworkers has been talking to a customer about one for ages, but since he is about to leave, he says the customer is happy with it and asks me to pack it up for him. The customer has been watching me struggle with the packaging for about five minutes.)

    Customer: “Thanks for packing that up for me; that looked like it was a hard one to do.”

    (I’m currently putting tape over the box, sealing it in there.)

    Me: “Yeah, it was. You get used to doing it while working, but sometimes it’s particularly difficult. I’m glad I FINALLY got it in though; sorry for taking so long.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. Can I have a listen to it now?”

    Me: “…”

    Lined Up To Fail

    | Norway | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (When a customer comes in to our store they first talk to a salesman who registers the product the customer wants.. After that, they come to me, the cashier, and after they have paid they collect their product out in the hall where we have our delivery point. Christmas time is our busiest time of the year. I’m the cashier.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like to buy an iPad. It’s under the name [Name].”

    Me: “Okay, that will be [price].”

    (The customer pays and goes off to collect the iPad. I continue with the line. Soon he comes back, red in the face with anger. I’ve started helping another customer, but he is so mad he ignores that fact.)

    Customer #1: “Excuse me. What is this!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry.”

    Customer #1: “I’ve been standing in line for a very long time and now there is a line at the delivery point as well. I don’t have fu***** time for this.”

    Me: “Your iPad is reserved to you so if you want to collect another time, you are free to do so if you don’t have the time right now. I’m sorry but they are working as fast as they can out there.”

    Customer #1: “That’s not f****** good enough. Give me my money back and I’ll go to another store and spend my money there.”

    Me: “Of course.”

    (I ask the person next in line if it’s okay if I fix this really quickly. He smiles and says okay. While I type away the angry customer keeps insulting me.)

    Customer #1: “This poor service. How dare they do this to me?! This service is s***!”

    Customer #2: “Well, they do have pretty s***ty customers, too.”

    Not The Most Gifted

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    Me: “Yes, the iPads are on sale right now, and you get a $40 gift card with them as well.”

    Customer: “What do I do with that?”

    Me: “Um, you buy things with it.”

    Customer: “Oh, ya?”

    Not Going According To Phone Plan

    , | Macedonia, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Technology

    (I work in a small-scale electronics store and am the only female sales associate in the place. We get paid largely on commission, and specialize in cellular phones. I helped a gentleman in his 50s set up his phone plan.)

    Me: “Well, sir, your plan is almost ready to go. Now I just need some information on who the other phone line is for and we’ll be all set.”

    Customer: *winks creepily* “The other phone is for my son. Good looking kid in his twenties going to law school. You’re a smart girl; save his number and give him a call. You’d be well taken care of.”

    Me: *laughs awkwardly* “I will keep that in mind, sir. In the mean time, let’s get your phone plan taken care of so you can be on your way.”

    Customer: *frantically dials his new phone* “Robert?! It’s Dad. Come to the [Store] right now! There is a girl here you should meet.” *pauses for son’s response* I’d say a six. Hard eight if she put in a little effort.”

    The Warranty Comes Warranted, Part 2

    , | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Technology

    (I’m selling a customer an iPad and introducing a new warranty which covers accidental damage, meaning you can replace your iPad for $50 rather than buying a whole new one. It’s a fantastic deal and, as the customer in question is buying the iPad for his eight-year-old daughter and wants the most expensive model, I am trying to convince him that the extra $99 for it is really worth it.)

    Me: “Sir, just to check, you’re getting this for your daughter, you said?”

    Customer: “Yeah. I mean, we’ll use it too, but it’s mostly for her.”

    Me: “I see. In that case, you really want to consider getting the extra warranty.”

    Customer: “But it comes with one that covers it for a year, right?”

    Me: “Yes, but it doesn’t cover accidental damage. If she accidentally drops it and cracks the screen, it’ll cost full price to replace without the warranty. With the warranty, it’s only $50 to replace it.”

    Customer: *considers it for a moment, then shakes his head* “Nah, we’ll be okay. I’ll tell her to be real careful.”

    Me: *gesturing to a nearby table where we have iPads set up for kids to play with* “Sir, I’m sure your daughter is really careful with her toys, but iPads are really fragile and kids sometimes forget they’re not as hardy as their other things.”

    (In perfect timing, a kid at the table then starts banging the iPad on the table hard. I grimace and the customer cringes slightly.)

    Customer: “Err, no, no. It’s okay. We’ll be careful.”

    (I get him to at least buy a screen cover and ring him up. He’s excited and happy at the end, so I figure everything’s all right and hopefully his daughter is as careful as he says she is. The next day, however, I see him come in with the iPad, case, and several small glass shards from the broken screen in a Ziploc bag. He sees me on his way to the tech counter and sheepishly holds up the bag.)

    Customer: “I guess you were right. I’ll get the warranty this time…”

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    The Warranty Comes Warranted