Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Canada

(I am an American citizen living and working as a legal Canadian resident.)

Customer: “It’s too bad that you can’t leave to vote, or do they let you do that here?”

Me: “I can’t vote. I’m not a citizen.”

(The customer’s jaw drops.)

Customer: “Wow! Where are you from?”

Me: “The US.”

Customer: “Well, I never would have guessed. You look just like one of us!”

(He gestures to himself and his shopping companion.)

Me: “Uh, thanks?”

Related:
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
Canada: America’s Hat

(Not The) Scent Of A Woman

| Newton, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

(A female customer is looking at the perfume display.)

Customer: “Excuse me, it says that this smaller bottle of [brand] perfume is the same price as this larger bottle of [brand] perfume. But they are the same product.”

Me: “Actually, this larger one is men’s cologne and this smaller one is women’s perfume.”

Customer: “No, no, they’re both for women. You’re looking at the wrong one.”

Me: “No, ma’am, if you look right here, this larger one says ‘por homme’ on it. That means ‘for men’.”

Customer: “No, they’re both for women. See how this one is light blue? That means for girls.”

Me: *giving up* “My mistake, ma’am.”

(On the bright side, the next time she came in, she smelled like a man.)

Little White Lies Vs. Big Green Addictions

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Family & Kids, Top

(I am ringing up a customer when her 7-8 year old son notices the scratch and win tickets under the plexiglass counter.)

Child: “Ooooo! Mom! We can get some lottery!”

Customer: “No.”

(He looks longingly at all the bright tickets.)

Child: “Are you sure? I could win a lot of money.”

Customer: “No, not today.”

(The child starts to whine loudly and the customer is obviously getting ticked off at her kid.)

Me: “Oh, you don’t want those ones. I checked them earlier and they’re all losers.”

(The customer bursts into laughter. I can see the child’s face working to see if he’s going to believe me or not.)

Child: “Really? No winners?”

Me: “Yup, not a single one.”

Child: “Oh…I guess I don’t need one then.”

(He runs off to put the shopping cart away.)

Customer: “Thank you so much!”

Feel-up On Aisle 5

| South Paris, ME, USA | Rude & Risque, Top

(I am dusting and organizing a shelf when someone comes up and punches me in the back really hard, twice. So hard, in fact, that the wind is knocked out of me. I turn around and there’s a man I’ve never seen before.)

Customer: “Oops…sorry! Thought you were someone else!” *walks off*

(My coworker runs over to me to see what’s going on.)

Coworker: “Did he just hit you? What was that about?”

Me: “Yeah…he said he thought I was someone else.”

Coworker: “Why don’t you go sit out back for a minute and maybe have some water? I’m going to go tell [manager] what happened!”

(I go out back for a minute or two. Suddenly, I hear people yelling and come back in. I see the manager chasing the man who had hit me out of the store and yelling that he was calling the police.)

Me: “What is going on?”

Coworker: “Well, I was on my way to speak to [manager] when a customer stopped me. That guy came up behind me and squeezed my left boob! Then he said, ‘Oops…sorry! Thought you were someone else!’ and walked off. I ran up to [manager] and then [coworker #2] came running up and said the same guy had just grabbed him in the crotch and had said the same thing!”

Me: “Wow! I guess I got off easy!”

Blocks UV-A, UV-B, And Omega-3

| Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

(I am standing at the cash registers when a customer approaches me with two bottles of sunscreen.)

Customer: “Excuse me, could you tell me the difference between these two?”

(I explain to her they are different brands, different prices, and of different SPF.)

Customer: “Oh, okay. But is one of them fat free?”

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