November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Urine A Lot Of Trouble Now

| Gulfport, MS, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(A man walks to the counter and sets his item down. I grab the box without looking and scan it.)

Me: “How you doin’?”

Customer: “You tell me!”

(I look down at the box I’m holding. It reads “Urinary Pain Relief”.)

Cash Back (And Forth)

| Gulfport, MS, USA | Money, Top

(I am a cashier at a drugstore. A man is buying about $60 worth of merchandise.)

Customer: “Can I pay $40 in cash and put the rest on my debit card?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I take his money and give him his new total. He swipes his card and the machine asks him if he wants cash back.)

Customer: “Oh, yes, I DO want cash back!”

(He gets $20 in cash back. I look at the $40 in my hand and slowly hand one of his 20’s back to him.)

Customer: *has a moment of clarity* “Hm, that didn’t make much sense, did it?”

Me: “No, sir, not really.”

(He leaves with his head down in shame, clutching a $20 bill.)

Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 3

, | Omaha, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(Our store regularly runs a promotion on the various vitamin brands for ‘BOGO’, buy 1, get 1 free. A customer comes up to the register with a bottle of a brand on the BOGO promotion. I am also an avid couponer and I regularly take in coupons for items we carry that I won’t use so that I can give them to customers.)

Me: “Sir, I see you’re buying a [brand] item. This week we currently have this whole line at Buy One, Get One Free. If you do get another one, I also have a coupon I can give you which is good for $2 off two items. So instead of getting one for $9.99 you can get 2 for eight bucks and change.”

Customer: *quite angrily* “What the h*** is wrong with you people? I just want my vitamins. Why are you always trying to push me to buy extra stuff and give you more money!?”

Me: “I’m…sir, I apologize. I probably wasn’t clear you’ll get twice as many vitamins and spend two dollars less—”

Customer: “Oh f*** this. You’re all scam artists!” *storms off without paying*

Me: *stares in disbelief*

Next Customer:“So…can I use that coupon?”

Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 2
Less Is More, More Or Less

Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Canada

(I am an American citizen living and working as a legal Canadian resident.)

Customer: “It’s too bad that you can’t leave to vote, or do they let you do that here?”

Me: “I can’t vote. I’m not a citizen.”

(The customer’s jaw drops.)

Customer: “Wow! Where are you from?”

Me: “The US.”

Customer: “Well, I never would have guessed. You look just like one of us!”

(He gestures to himself and his shopping companion.)

Me: “Uh, thanks?”

Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
Canada: America’s Hat

(Not The) Scent Of A Woman

| Newton, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

(A female customer is looking at the perfume display.)

Customer: “Excuse me, it says that this smaller bottle of [brand] perfume is the same price as this larger bottle of [brand] perfume. But they are the same product.”

Me: “Actually, this larger one is men’s cologne and this smaller one is women’s perfume.”

Customer: “No, no, they’re both for women. You’re looking at the wrong one.”

Me: “No, ma’am, if you look right here, this larger one says ‘por homme’ on it. That means ‘for men’.”

Customer: “No, they’re both for women. See how this one is light blue? That means for girls.”

Me: *giving up* “My mistake, ma’am.”

(On the bright side, the next time she came in, she smelled like a man.)