Low On Sense

| Gulfport, MS, USA | Money

(I am a cashier. When customers are polite, I have no problem letting them slide on few cents when they are short on change.)

Me: “That’ll be $20.96.”

Customer: “I got $20!”

(He roughly slaps a $20 bill on the counter.)

Me: “Um, it’s $20.96.”

Customer: “I got a hundred.”

Me: “Okay, I can break it.”

Customer: “Well, it’s at my house. What am I supposed to do, go get it?! Just cover it, s***! It’s a couple cents!”

(I make minimum wage and can barely make ends meet. I also don’t open my wallet for rude strangers.)

Me: “It’s $0.96, so I’m not going to just give you a dollar. Do you want to put something back?”

(I start taking items out of his bag to show him what he can put back.)

Customer: “I need all that stuff!”

Me: “You need two packs of cigarettes?”

Customer: “Put the soup back, s***!”

(I void his soup, ring up the rest of his items, and give him his change.)

Customer: *as he’s leaving, sarcastically* “Thanks for your hospitality!”

Me: “You’re welcome! Have a nice day!”

(After he leaves, my coworker comes over.)

Coworker: *laughing* “What were you supposed to do, pay him for being an a**hole?”

They Are Not The Balls You Are Looking For

| Gulfport, MS, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(Note: I am a male. It’s the week of Easter and I’m walking through the store, when suddenly I hear someone scream at me.)

Customer: “You don’t have any balls, do you?!”

(I stop in my tracks, shocked. I turn around to see a little old lady.)

Me: *laughing, embarrassed* “Um, what?”

Customer: “Little balls!”

(She shows me how small with her fingers. I stare at her, dumbfounded, jaw-dropped, and shrug.)

Customer: “You know, the chocolate Easter balls!”

Me: *erupting in laughter* “Oh, yeah, they’re right this way…”

Urine A Lot Of Trouble Now

| Gulfport, MS, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(A man walks to the counter and sets his item down. I grab the box without looking and scan it.)

Me: “How you doin’?”

Customer: “You tell me!”

(I look down at the box I’m holding. It reads “Urinary Pain Relief”.)

Cash Back (And Forth)

| Gulfport, MS, USA | Money, Top

(I am a cashier at a drugstore. A man is buying about $60 worth of merchandise.)

Customer: “Can I pay $40 in cash and put the rest on my debit card?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I take his money and give him his new total. He swipes his card and the machine asks him if he wants cash back.)

Customer: “Oh, yes, I DO want cash back!”

(He gets $20 in cash back. I look at the $40 in my hand and slowly hand one of his 20’s back to him.)

Customer: *has a moment of clarity* “Hm, that didn’t make much sense, did it?”

Me: “No, sir, not really.”

(He leaves with his head down in shame, clutching a $20 bill.)

Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 3

, | Omaha, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(Our store regularly runs a promotion on the various vitamin brands for ‘BOGO’, buy 1, get 1 free. A customer comes up to the register with a bottle of a brand on the BOGO promotion. I am also an avid couponer and I regularly take in coupons for items we carry that I won’t use so that I can give them to customers.)

Me: “Sir, I see you’re buying a [brand] item. This week we currently have this whole line at Buy One, Get One Free. If you do get another one, I also have a coupon I can give you which is good for $2 off two items. So instead of getting one for $9.99 you can get 2 for eight bucks and change.”

Customer: *quite angrily* “What the h*** is wrong with you people? I just want my vitamins. Why are you always trying to push me to buy extra stuff and give you more money!?”

Me: “I’m…sir, I apologize. I probably wasn’t clear you’ll get twice as many vitamins and spend two dollars less—”

Customer: “Oh f*** this. You’re all scam artists!” *storms off without paying*

Me: *stares in disbelief*

Next Customer:“So…can I use that coupon?”

Related:
Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 2
Less Is More, More Or Less

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