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    Urine A Lot Of Trouble Now

    | Gulfport, MS, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (A man walks to the counter and sets his item down. I grab the box without looking and scan it.)

    Me: “How you doin’?”

    Customer: “You tell me!”

    (I look down at the box I’m holding. It reads “Urinary Pain Relief”.)

    Cash Back (And Forth)

    | Gulfport, MS, USA | Money, Top

    (I am a cashier at a drugstore. A man is buying about $60 worth of merchandise.)

    Customer: “Can I pay $40 in cash and put the rest on my debit card?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I take his money and give him his new total. He swipes his card and the machine asks him if he wants cash back.)

    Customer: “Oh, yes, I DO want cash back!”

    (He gets $20 in cash back. I look at the $40 in my hand and slowly hand one of his 20′s back to him.)

    Customer: *has a moment of clarity* “Hm, that didn’t make much sense, did it?”

    Me: “No, sir, not really.”

    (He leaves with his head down in shame, clutching a $20 bill.)

    Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 3

    , | Omaha, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (Our store regularly runs a promotion on the various vitamin brands for ‘BOGO’, buy 1, get 1 free. A customer comes up to the register with a bottle of a brand on the BOGO promotion. I am also an avid couponer and I regularly take in coupons for items we carry that I won’t use so that I can give them to customers.)

    Me: “Sir, I see you’re buying a [brand] item. This week we currently have this whole line at Buy One, Get One Free. If you do get another one, I also have a coupon I can give you which is good for $2 off two items. So instead of getting one for $9.99 you can get 2 for eight bucks and change.”

    Customer: *quite angrily* “What the h*** is wrong with you people? I just want my vitamins. Why are you always trying to push me to buy extra stuff and give you more money!?”

    Me: “I’m…sir, I apologize. I probably wasn’t clear you’ll get twice as many vitamins and spend two dollars less—”

    Customer: “Oh f*** this. You’re all scam artists!” *storms off without paying*

    Me: *stares in disbelief*

    Next Customer:“So…can I use that coupon?”

    Related:
    Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 2
    Less Is More, More Or Less

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Canada

    (I am an American citizen living and working as a legal Canadian resident.)

    Customer: “It’s too bad that you can’t leave to vote, or do they let you do that here?”

    Me: “I can’t vote. I’m not a citizen.”

    (The customer’s jaw drops.)

    Customer: “Wow! Where are you from?”

    Me: “The US.”

    Customer: “Well, I never would have guessed. You look just like one of us!”

    (He gestures to himself and his shopping companion.)

    Me: “Uh, thanks?”

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
    Canada: America’s Hat

    (Not The) Scent Of A Woman

    | Newton, NJ, USA |

    (A female customer is looking at the perfume display.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, it says that this smaller bottle of [brand] perfume is the same price as this larger bottle of [brand] perfume. But they are the same product.”

    Me: “Actually, this larger one is men’s cologne and this smaller one is women’s perfume.”

    Customer: “No, no, they’re both for women. You’re looking at the wrong one.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, if you look right here, this larger one says ‘por homme’ on it. That means ‘for men’.”

    Customer: “No, they’re both for women. See how this one is light blue? That means for girls.”

    Me: *giving up* “My mistake, ma’am.”

    (On the bright side, the next time she came in, she smelled like a man.)


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