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    Look Into Your Heart You Know It To Be True

    | Lexington, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Love/Romance, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I’m checking out my items at the front of a store, when a couple bursts in. The girlfriend is clearly upset at her boyfriend.)

    Girlfriend: “You really expect me to be all right with you hanging out with your friends on our one-year anniversary?!”

    Boyfriend: “It’s been a tradition of my friends to do this for over six years! I can take you out any weekend, but [name of his friend] only gets his brother’s VHS copy of the original Star Wars movies once a year, and so we have a marathon! Come on! It has all the original scenes and characters before Lucas screwed it up!”

    Girlfriend: “You all are such nerds! Who cares about the changes! If anything, it made the movies better!”

    Boyfriend: “You haven’t even seen the movies!”

    Girlfriend: “No real girl has! I haven’t, and…” *points at me* “…she hasn’t! Fine! Go ahead with your stupid marathon! I don’t care anymore! Do whatever the h*** you want!”

    (The girlfriend storms down an aisle.)

    Me: *imitating Admiral Ackbar* “It’s a trap!” *imitating C-3PO* “Let the girlfriend win.”

    (Not only did the boyfriend crack up, but the check-out guy gave me his number!)

    Refunder Blunder

    | Rochester Hills, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (A customer has walked up to my register carrying a bag from a competitor. We’re a well-known, national chain drugstore and our stores are fairly small. The competitor is a major big box retailer. The names are not similar and our primary color is blue; the competitor’s color is red. The competitor is located on the other end of town.)

    Customer: “I need to make a return.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “Yes, it’s still in the bag.”

    (I reach into the bag and find a private brand item from the competitor and a receipt, also from the competitor.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, unfortunately this item was purchased at another store, so I’m afraid I can’t do a return for you here.”

    Customer: “WHAT?! I bought it here yesterday!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this is generic brand for a different store. It is not possible you bought it here.”

    Customer: “Yes I did! The receipt is right there!”

    Me: “The only receipt in this bag is from [competitor].”

    Customer: “YES.”

    Me: “You’re at [my store].”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “Not [competitor].”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: *holding up the circular* “You’re at [my store]. I cannot accept a return from [competitor], as it’s a different company, and this is not a brand that we carry. You need to go to [competitor] to return this item.”

    Customer: “Oh! You’re not [competitor]!”

    Momma Raised Him Right

    | Twin Cities, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Holidays

    (It’s the night before Mother’s Day, and around 3 am we get a large shipment of roses. A young customer comes in and sees the huge display, which has over 100 bouquets.)

    Young Customer: “Oh man! You’re killing me with all these flowers!”

    Me: “What?”

    Young Customer: “I just gotta get some!”

    (He grabs a full bouquet of a dozen roses plus a single rose, and then comes up to my register.)

    Young Customer: “My momma always told me that if you give a lady a rose on Mother’s Day, it’ll make her smile the whole day long, don’t even matter if she’s a mother or not. I’m gonna make 13 lucky ladies smile today!”

    Me: “Aww, that’s so sweet!”

    (I finish ringing him up, and he turns to leave. Suddenly, he turns around and hands me the single rose.)

    Young Customer: “You’re lady number 1!”

    (He then runs out the door before I can think of anything to say. I have to admit though, I really did end up smiling all day because of it!)

    A Smoking Debate

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Underaged

    (We card everyone who looks under 40 for cigarettes and alcohol. A customer comes up, who looks to be about mid-20s.)

    Me: “Hi ma’am! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I need a pack of [brand].”

    (I grab the cigarettes, and keep them next to me on the counter.)

    Me: “Alright, I need to see your ID, please.”

    Customer: “What the f***?! Just give me the d*** cigarettes. I’m over 18.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t sell you them without seeing your ID.”

    Customer: “Just give me the cigarettes. I’m in a hurry.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I can lose my job or worse if I don’t ID you. Please… we can get through this much quicker if you give me your ID.”

    Customer: “F*** you, you b****! I want my cigarettes! I come in here all the time and have never been carded before! I demand to speak your manager!”

    (I call my manager up to the front. He’s not much older than I am, and Hispanic.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “This stupid b****, who probably isn’t even old enough to sell cigarettes, won’t give me mine!”

    Manager: *to me* “What does she mean?”

    Me: “I asked for her ID since she looks under 40, and she refused. So, I tried to tell her—”

    Customer: “You lying b****! You never asked for my ID!”

    Me: “I asked for it several times, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I want my cigarettes for free!”

    Manager: “I can’t do that ma’am, and I’m almost positive she asked for your ID.”

    Customer: “F*** you, you f***ing immigrant! I come in here all the time!”

    (She continues like this for a while. My manager and I are both completely stunned.)

    Manager: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “You can’t make me!”

    (She starts screaming and shaking the register. Panicked, I call the police. While waiting for them she starts to go around the store knocking things off shelves. As soon as the sirens are in the distance, she runs out of the store. Thankfully after my manager and I deal with the police report, he gave paid vacation time.)

    Be The Change You Wish To See

    | Rochester, NH, USA | Bizarre, Money

    Me: *ringing up a customer’s items* “How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “That milk was supposed to be $1.79, not $1.89.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Let me have someone run a price check on that.”

    (My coworker comes over and takes the milk to check the price.)

    Coworker: “He is correct; the milk is $1.79.”

    Me: “Thank you.” *reduces price on milk* “Alright, sir. That’ll be $4.75.”

    (The customer hands me a five dollar bill and starts walking away.)

    Me: “Sir, did you want your change?!”

    Customer: “Nope!” *walks off*

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