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    Not Part Of The 99 Per Cent

    | Glendale, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m currently working the front checkout and a man walks up to purchase his items, I scan all the items and bag them.)

    Me: “That will be $19.86.”

    Customer: “That’s way too much. You must have scanned it wrong.”

    Me: “No, everything is there.”

    (I then show him the screen so he can see.)

    Customer: “That can’t be right. If that is $5.00, and that is $3.00—”

    Me: “But it isn’t. They are $5.99 and $3.99—”

    Customer: “Hold on! Let me show you.”

    (The customer gets a pen and paper from my checkout and starts adding it up.)

    Customer: “See, $5.00 plus $3.00 plus $7.00 equals $15.00. It’s showing up wrong.”

    Me: “But it is $5.99, $3.99 and $7.99. It makes a difference.”

    (By now, several other customers are waiting, so I pull out a calculator to show him.)

    Me: “$5.99 plus $3.99 plus $7.99 plus sales tax comes out to $19.86.”

    Customer: “Well, you NEVER mentioned SALES TAX!”

    (The customer pays for the items and leaves. I begin helping the next customer in line.)

    Next Customer: “Well, that was dumb.”

    Size Matters On Sign Matters

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (It is my day off, but have to go into work to pick up some milk. On my way in, I notice several large signs on the doors informing customers that the debit/credit machines are down. As I stand in line, I hear customer and my coworker arguing.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! You should really put up a sign if your machines are going to be down.”

    Coworker: “There are signs on all the doors.”

    Customer: “Well I didn’t see them; you people should make them bigger!”

    Coworker: “They’re on all the doors, and are quite lar—”

    Customer: “They should be BIGGER!”

    Coworker: “Well how big do you need them, ma’am?”

    Customer: “BIGGER!”

    (At this point the woman throws her things on the counter and storms out, flipping off my coworker in the process.)

    Coworker: “I think it’s break time.”

    Refunder Blunder, Part 2

    | NY, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (My coworker and I are relatively new, having only worked at the store for a couple of months. I work there more days a week than she does, because she has another job, so I am a little more familiar with how the store runs. We are the only two cashiers at the front of the store, and there is a decent sized line. I am ringing people up with no issues when I hear the customer my coworker is helping start yelling.)

    Customer: “Look, I’m telling you, I didn’t get my refund in cash! I need it in cash! [Other location of store] put it on my debit card!”

    Coworker: “I-I’m sorry, sir; let me ask how to do that.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding? It’s a simple refund! Who doesn’t know how to refund money?”

    (I finish helping the customer I am currently with and quickly run over to try and assist my coworker without having to bother our manager.)

    Me: “Okay, so what’s the problem, sir?”

    Customer: “I returned something at another location and I paid for it with my debit card and they credited it back to my checking account!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, sir; let me get my manager for you so we can clear this up.”

    Customer: “Yeah, there we go; someone who actually knows what to do.”

    (I’m about to page for the manager, but then my coworker shows me what the customer handed her. It is a refund slip from the different store from earlier in the day, showing that a refund of $108 was paid in cash to this customer.)

    Me: “Sir, your refund slip says that you received a cash refund paid out from [other store], earlier today.”

    Customer: *looks at slip, then suddenly gets quiet* “Oh, well, okay. Have a good day then.” *walks out of store*

    Related:
    Refunder Blunder

    Look Into Your Heart You Know It To Be True

    | Lexington, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Love/Romance, Movies & TV, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I’m checking out my items at the front of a store, when a couple bursts in. The girlfriend is clearly upset at her boyfriend.)

    Girlfriend: “You really expect me to be all right with you hanging out with your friends on our one-year anniversary?!”

    Boyfriend: “It’s been a tradition of my friends to do this for over six years! I can take you out any weekend, but [name of his friend] only gets his brother’s VHS copy of the original Star Wars movies once a year, and so we have a marathon! Come on! It has all the original scenes and characters before Lucas screwed it up!”

    Girlfriend: “You all are such nerds! Who cares about the changes! If anything, it made the movies better!”

    Boyfriend: “You haven’t even seen the movies!”

    Girlfriend: “No real girl has! I haven’t, and…” *points at me* “…she hasn’t! Fine! Go ahead with your stupid marathon! I don’t care anymore! Do whatever the h*** you want!”

    (The girlfriend storms down an aisle.)

    Me: *imitating Admiral Ackbar* “It’s a trap!” *imitating C-3PO* “Let the girlfriend win.”

    (Not only did the boyfriend crack up, but the check-out guy gave me his number!)

    Refunder Blunder

    | Rochester Hills, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (A customer has walked up to my register carrying a bag from a competitor. We’re a well-known, national chain drugstore and our stores are fairly small. The competitor is a major big box retailer. The names are not similar and our primary color is blue; the competitor’s color is red. The competitor is located on the other end of town.)

    Customer: “I need to make a return.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “Yes, it’s still in the bag.”

    (I reach into the bag and find a private brand item from the competitor and a receipt, also from the competitor.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, unfortunately this item was purchased at another store, so I’m afraid I can’t do a return for you here.”

    Customer: “WHAT?! I bought it here yesterday!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this is generic brand for a different store. It is not possible you bought it here.”

    Customer: “Yes I did! The receipt is right there!”

    Me: “The only receipt in this bag is from [competitor].”

    Customer: “YES.”

    Me: “You’re at [my store].”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “Not [competitor].”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: *holding up the circular* “You’re at [my store]. I cannot accept a return from [competitor], as it’s a different company, and this is not a brand that we carry. You need to go to [competitor] to return this item.”

    Customer: “Oh! You’re not [competitor]!”


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