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    Misread The Situation

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words

    (I work on the front end of a well-known pharmacy as a cashier. We have four registers at the front, and only one is active right now, #3. There are signs on the other registers directing the customer to #3, with a bell included on #3 that says ‘please ring for service.’ I’m stocking an aisle, when a woman walks up to register #1.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ll be right there to help you. Could you please go to register #3?”

    Customer: “Sure, no problem.”

    (I walk up behind the counter, logging onto register #3, while the woman has her items set out on register #4.)

    Me: “Ma’am, could I help you at this register, please?”

    Customer: “Oh, right. I guess it would help if I could read.”

    Me: “Well, that’s not really my judgment to make.”

    (The woman goes silent for the rest of the transaction. I ring her up, hand her her receipt, and ask if there’s anything else I can help her with.)

    Customer: “No, but I certainly hope you’re nicer to your next customer!”

    Wouldn’t Wish Him On Your Worst Enema

    | Berkeley, CA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer wanders around drug store for half an hour, feeling too embarrassed to ask where the enemas are.)

    Employee: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Uh, I’m looking for an enema bag.”

    Employee: “Oh… you want a bag? We have some bags.”

    (I lead the customer to a small case full of purses in the cosmetics section.)

    Employee: “Here are the bags.”

    Customer: “Do you know what an enema is?”

    Employee: “No…”

    Customer: “I’ll ask someone else.” *leaves drug store*

    Not Part Of The 99 Per Cent

    | Glendale, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m currently working the front checkout and a man walks up to purchase his items, I scan all the items and bag them.)

    Me: “That will be $19.86.”

    Customer: “That’s way too much. You must have scanned it wrong.”

    Me: “No, everything is there.”

    (I then show him the screen so he can see.)

    Customer: “That can’t be right. If that is $5.00, and that is $3.00—”

    Me: “But it isn’t. They are $5.99 and $3.99—”

    Customer: “Hold on! Let me show you.”

    (The customer gets a pen and paper from my checkout and starts adding it up.)

    Customer: “See, $5.00 plus $3.00 plus $7.00 equals $15.00. It’s showing up wrong.”

    Me: “But it is $5.99, $3.99 and $7.99. It makes a difference.”

    (By now, several other customers are waiting, so I pull out a calculator to show him.)

    Me: “$5.99 plus $3.99 plus $7.99 plus sales tax comes out to $19.86.”

    Customer: “Well, you NEVER mentioned SALES TAX!”

    (The customer pays for the items and leaves. I begin helping the next customer in line.)

    Next Customer: “Well, that was dumb.”

    Size Matters On Sign Matters

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (It is my day off, but have to go into work to pick up some milk. On my way in, I notice several large signs on the doors informing customers that the debit/credit machines are down. As I stand in line, I hear customer and my coworker arguing.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! You should really put up a sign if your machines are going to be down.”

    Coworker: “There are signs on all the doors.”

    Customer: “Well I didn’t see them; you people should make them bigger!”

    Coworker: “They’re on all the doors, and are quite lar—”

    Customer: “They should be BIGGER!”

    Coworker: “Well how big do you need them, ma’am?”

    Customer: “BIGGER!”

    (At this point the woman throws her things on the counter and storms out, flipping off my coworker in the process.)

    Coworker: “I think it’s break time.”

    Refunder Blunder, Part 2

    | NY, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (My coworker and I are relatively new, having only worked at the store for a couple of months. I work there more days a week than she does, because she has another job, so I am a little more familiar with how the store runs. We are the only two cashiers at the front of the store, and there is a decent sized line. I am ringing people up with no issues when I hear the customer my coworker is helping start yelling.)

    Customer: “Look, I’m telling you, I didn’t get my refund in cash! I need it in cash! [Other location of store] put it on my debit card!”

    Coworker: “I-I’m sorry, sir; let me ask how to do that.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding? It’s a simple refund! Who doesn’t know how to refund money?”

    (I finish helping the customer I am currently with and quickly run over to try and assist my coworker without having to bother our manager.)

    Me: “Okay, so what’s the problem, sir?”

    Customer: “I returned something at another location and I paid for it with my debit card and they credited it back to my checking account!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, sir; let me get my manager for you so we can clear this up.”

    Customer: “Yeah, there we go; someone who actually knows what to do.”

    (I’m about to page for the manager, but then my coworker shows me what the customer handed her. It is a refund slip from the different store from earlier in the day, showing that a refund of $108 was paid in cash to this customer.)

    Me: “Sir, your refund slip says that you received a cash refund paid out from [other store], earlier today.”

    Customer: *looks at slip, then suddenly gets quiet* “Oh, well, okay. Have a good day then.” *walks out of store*

    Related:
    Refunder Blunder

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