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    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (A woman and her friend come up to my register to pay for her rather large order. She hands me her credit card and continues talking to her friend.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, miss, your card was declined.”

    (She glares at me before returning to her friend.)

    Me: “Let me try it again. Still coming back declined.”

    Customer: “How can that be? Are you sure you’re doing it right?”

    Me: “It’s hard to do it wrong. I’ll key it in manually. Maybe my reader is broken.”

    (I manually key in the card; it gets declined again.)

    Me: “I’m sorry miss, your card was declined again. Do you ha—”

    Customer: *to friend* “You know? I spend more money in this place than this guy makes in a week.”

    Me: “That may be the reason your credit card is maxed out.”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36

    Misread The Situation

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words

    (I work on the front end of a well-known pharmacy as a cashier. We have four registers at the front, and only one is active right now, #3. There are signs on the other registers directing the customer to #3, with a bell included on #3 that says ‘please ring for service.’ I’m stocking an aisle, when a woman walks up to register #1.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ll be right there to help you. Could you please go to register #3?”

    Customer: “Sure, no problem.”

    (I walk up behind the counter, logging onto register #3, while the woman has her items set out on register #4.)

    Me: “Ma’am, could I help you at this register, please?”

    Customer: “Oh, right. I guess it would help if I could read.”

    Me: “Well, that’s not really my judgment to make.”

    (The woman goes silent for the rest of the transaction. I ring her up, hand her her receipt, and ask if there’s anything else I can help her with.)

    Customer: “No, but I certainly hope you’re nicer to your next customer!”

    Wouldn’t Wish Him On Your Worst Enema

    | Berkeley, CA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer wanders around drug store for half an hour, feeling too embarrassed to ask where the enemas are.)

    Employee: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Uh, I’m looking for an enema bag.”

    Employee: “Oh… you want a bag? We have some bags.”

    (I lead the customer to a small case full of purses in the cosmetics section.)

    Employee: “Here are the bags.”

    Customer: “Do you know what an enema is?”

    Employee: “No…”

    Customer: “I’ll ask someone else.” *leaves drug store*

    Not Part Of The 99 Per Cent

    | Glendale, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m currently working the front checkout and a man walks up to purchase his items, I scan all the items and bag them.)

    Me: “That will be $19.86.”

    Customer: “That’s way too much. You must have scanned it wrong.”

    Me: “No, everything is there.”

    (I then show him the screen so he can see.)

    Customer: “That can’t be right. If that is $5.00, and that is $3.00—”

    Me: “But it isn’t. They are $5.99 and $3.99—”

    Customer: “Hold on! Let me show you.”

    (The customer gets a pen and paper from my checkout and starts adding it up.)

    Customer: “See, $5.00 plus $3.00 plus $7.00 equals $15.00. It’s showing up wrong.”

    Me: “But it is $5.99, $3.99 and $7.99. It makes a difference.”

    (By now, several other customers are waiting, so I pull out a calculator to show him.)

    Me: “$5.99 plus $3.99 plus $7.99 plus sales tax comes out to $19.86.”

    Customer: “Well, you NEVER mentioned SALES TAX!”

    (The customer pays for the items and leaves. I begin helping the next customer in line.)

    Next Customer: “Well, that was dumb.”

    Size Matters On Sign Matters

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (It is my day off, but have to go into work to pick up some milk. On my way in, I notice several large signs on the doors informing customers that the debit/credit machines are down. As I stand in line, I hear customer and my coworker arguing.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! You should really put up a sign if your machines are going to be down.”

    Coworker: “There are signs on all the doors.”

    Customer: “Well I didn’t see them; you people should make them bigger!”

    Coworker: “They’re on all the doors, and are quite lar—”

    Customer: “They should be BIGGER!”

    Coworker: “Well how big do you need them, ma’am?”

    Customer: “BIGGER!”

    (At this point the woman throws her things on the counter and storms out, flipping off my coworker in the process.)

    Coworker: “I think it’s break time.”

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