November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Affording A New Degree Of Understanding

, | Scranton, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, School

(I’m in my mid 20s, and have been the general manager of a dollar store for about three years. One afternoon, I took over the register to allow my associate a 15 minute break. My first customer gives me a look of pity.)

Customer: “Bet you wish you went to college.”

(This is not an out of the ordinary remark, so I smile as I respond.)

Me: “I did! Had a lot of fun, too!”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I bet you wish you graduated.”

Me: “…I did.”

(The customer is starting to get a little snotty at this point.)

Customer: “Bet you wish you had graduated with a real degree, then.”

(I’m getting angry at this point, because he is very obviously trying to make me feel bad about a job I love.)

Me: “Sir, I graduated from [State College], with honors, with a Bachelor’s degree in forensic chemistry.”

Customer: *shocked* “But why would you work HERE?!”

Me: “Because, for some reason, I like it. But then people like you come in. Will that be all for you today?”

(The customer, face red, quickly paid for his items, and left. I haven’t seen him since!)

Pressured Into Showing Your ID

| Weirton, WV, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(So, my store has only started selling cigarettes recently, and corporate office demands we ID each and every single person, each and every single time, regardless of how old they look. Failure to do so can result in immediate termination. An older looking gentleman asks for a pack of cigarettes.)

Me: “May I see a piece of ID sir?”

Customer: *becoming furious* “What? Does it look like I dye my beard grey?!”

Me: “I do apologize, sir. It is company policy and I do not want to lose my job.”

(He shows me his ID, reluctantly, looking more angry every second. After the transaction is complete he says:)

Customer: “You are lucky my blood pressure medicine is working, because I’m so mad at your punk a** it would go through the roof!”

Me: “Sir, do you know what else helps with blood pressure?”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

Me: “Not smoking cigarettes.”

Fickle Over A Nickel, Part 2

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I am currently checking out a line of customers. I hand a lady her change which is roughly $0.94. She counts it then hands me back a nickel.)

Customer: “This is not a nickel. This is Canadian. I want an American nickel.

Me: “Ma’am, it is still worth five cents. Any store will accept it.”

Customer: “IT’S NOT AMERICAN!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me call my manager. She has to open my drawer for me so that I can exchange the nickel.”

(I call the manager and pray for her to hurry up.)

Customer: “IT’S NOT AMERICAN!”

(My manager is being very slow and thankfully the customer behind her pulls some change out of his pocket and hands her a nickel.)

Customer #2: “Here, ma’am. Take this.”

Customer #1: “Thank you.”

(Customer #1 begins to walk to the door but overhears me talking to Customer #2.)

Me: “Here, sir, would you like this Canadian nickel, it is still worth five cents.”

Customer #2: “Thank you.”

Customer #1: *standing half way out the door shouting at me* “IT IS NOT AMERICAN!”

Fickle Over A Nickel

In Too Deep (Voice)

, | Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(I’m a fairly feminine looking guy and my voice is relatively high. Sometimes I get mistaken for a girl. I’m checking a lady out at the register.)

Customer: “You have beautiful eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Me: “Thank you! That’s very kind of you!”

Customer: “I see you here all the time and you’re so friendly and fun to talk to. I’d love to speak with your manager about your excellent service!”

Me: “Wow! Thank you so much! Unfortunately my manager isn’t in today, though. I think she’ll be in tomorrow.”

Customer: “All right, then. I’ll give the store a call tomorrow to speak with her. What’s your name, Miss?”

Me: “Sam.”

Customer: “Your full name?”

Me: “… Samuel.”

Customer: “… Oh.”

Me: *quietly, trying to make my voice a little deeper* “Would you like your receipt?”

A Race To Be At The Place

| LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(Customer #1 is paying with a check. She’s one of our regulars, and a very nice person, but it does take her a little bit of time to write all the information on her check. Customer #2 is in line behind her.)

Customer #2: “Oh, dear gawd. How long is this gonna take?”

Me: “Just a moment, ma’am. We need to finish up here.”

Customer #2: “Some of us ain’t got all day. We don’t go ‘round wasting other people’s time, but here they be wastin’ ours. F*** this!”

Me: “We’re almost done, and stop cussing. Okay?”

Customer #1: “Thank you, sweetie. Are we done? Okay, fine. Have a good day, now!”

Customer #2: *mockingly* “Have a good day! Have a good day! Get your old a** out my way!”

(I silently ring up the rude customer’s purchases, and then tell her the total. She pulls a plastic baggie from her purse and starts counting it out in loose change. It’s a large total, and several times she gets a text on her phone and then loses track of her count. All in all, it takes nearly ten minutes for her to pay.)

Customer #2: “There! We done? I got places to be!”

(Customer #2 then strolls out the door and stands leaning on the lamp post next to the street, talking on her cell phone. I start ringing up the next customer.)

Customer #3: “Yep. That’s her place to be, I guess.”