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    The Times, They Are a’Changin’

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    Me: “Your total is $4.24.”

    Customer: *hands me a twenty*

    Me: “Here’s your change.” *hands back $15.76* “Have a wonderful day!”

    Customer: “… Didn’t I give you a five?”

    Me: “I don’t think so…”

    (Customer checks her pocket and pulls out the five she meant to give me.)

    Me: “Doesn’t this usually happen the other way around?”

    Can’t Put A Dollar On Stupidity

    | IN, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a dollar store. Since everything is a dollar there are no price tags on anything.)

    Customer: “There’s no price tag on this. It’s free, right?”

    Her Learning Doesn’t Hold Much Coin

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Your total is $10.60.”

    Customer: *with an accent that sounds like she’s from around Manchester, England* “Okay, here’s a ten, and…” *pours her change on the counter and starts going through them* “…Is this twenty-five? No, this is five… and this is ten? No, this one’s twenty-five cents… How much is this one? Oh, I’m not good with this money. I can’t tell what anything is.”

    Me: “No problem. I’ll count out sixty for you. So, are vacationing here in the USA?”

    Customer: “No, I’ve lived here for ten years…”

    Wasn’t So Chipper About Leaving

    | OH, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work as a sales associate at a store where vendors control some of our shelf layouts. One day a man working for the chip company comes in.)

    Me:“Hello, sir, do you need my manager?”

    Vendor #1: “No, I just came to reset your shelves. We just changed the layout.”

    (I don’t think anything of it and go back to work while the guy moved product around on the shelf. He left after about an hour. The next day another guy from the company comes in and begins stocking the shelves. After a while he calls out to me.)

    Vendor #2: “How come your chip aisle is so messed up?”

    Me: *confused* “One of your guys reset it.”

    Vendor #2: “This isn’t how they’re supposed look and I’m the only guy who works this area.”

    (The vendor reset the shelves and we later found out that an ex-employee kept his uniform and pretended to work at the company to steal chips.)

    Affording A New Degree Of Understanding

    , | Scranton, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, School

    (I’m in my mid 20s, and have been the general manager of a dollar store for about three years. One afternoon, I took over the register to allow my associate a 15 minute break. My first customer gives me a look of pity.)

    Customer: “Bet you wish you went to college.”

    (This is not an out of the ordinary remark, so I smile as I respond.)

    Me: “I did! Had a lot of fun, too!”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, I bet you wish you graduated.”

    Me: “…I did.”

    (The customer is starting to get a little snotty at this point.)

    Customer: “Bet you wish you had graduated with a real degree, then.”

    (I’m getting angry at this point, because he is very obviously trying to make me feel bad about a job I love.)

    Me: “Sir, I graduated from [State College], with honors, with a Bachelor’s degree in forensic chemistry.”

    Customer: *shocked* “But why would you work HERE?!”

    Me: “Because, for some reason, I like it. But then people like you come in. Will that be all for you today?”

    (The customer, face red, quickly paid for his items, and left. I haven’t seen him since!)

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