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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Bow-Wow Bigotry

    | Kentucky, USA | Bigotry, Pets & Animals

    (At the doggie daycare, one of the play rooms has a glass window where customers can watch the dogs playing. We have a three-legged dog that is a daily regular in this playroom. I am working at the front desk. A customer, looking somewhat distressed, approaches the desk with a small child, who looks very distressed.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I was wondering if you could remove that three-legged dog from the playroom for just a few minutes. My daughter wants to watch the dogs, but the three-legged one is freaking her out.”

    Me: “I…I’m sorry ma’am, but we cannot remove her. She is a regular here and she is getting along well with the other dogs. Her owner has paid us to let her play in there. We will not remove her because someone feels uncomfortable with her appearance.”

    Customer: “Fine. I guess you all don’t care about your customers after all!” *huffs off*

    Me: *speechless*

    If There Is A God, He Obviously Owns A Dog

    | San Jose, CA | Top

    (Note: this takes place during the middle of a bad rainstorm.)

    Customer: “Hi, I wanted to start bringing by dog here but I wanted to make sure that the animals get a lot of exercise.”

    Me: “Oh, we just have them in rotations to run on a treadmill. You see, they help to generate power for our building. I think we have Sandy, a cute little chihuahua going right now.”

    Customer: “You’re joking, right?”

    Me: “Haha, yeah.”

    (Moments later, my coworker comes in from the back.)

    Coworker: “Hey, Sandy’s loose again. Have you seen the pop-up fence?”

    (As if on cue, the storm knocks out power to the building right then and there.)

    Customer: “Oh my god! I’m calling Animal Services and reporting you all!”