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    His Humor Is A Bit Rusty

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, One-Liners

    (A patient arrives at the reception desk with some paperwork.)

    Patient: “So, what do I do with this?”

    Me: “This is for some bloodwork. You need to take it to the lab, but you need to have been fasting. That means you can’t eat or drink anything but water for 12 hours before you get your blood drawn.”

    Patient: “Oh, I never drink water. It makes me rust!”

    (The patient then walks away like a robot going ‘squeak, squeak.’ Thank you, sir, for making me laugh! I’d had a crazy day and really needed it!)

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4

    | Rotherham, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (The pregnancy clinic is running at the same time as normal GP hours. The waiting room contains three pregnant women, including myself, and a tiny very old lady.)

    Old Lady: “Why is SHE going in now? I was here first!”

    Receptionist: “She’s seeing the midwife.”

    Old Lady: “But I was here first!”

    Receptionist: “Yes, but the midwife only deals with pregnant ladies.”

    Old Lady: “ARE YOU SAYING I’M NOT A LADY?!”

    Receptionist: “No, but you aren’t pregnant are you?”

    Old Lady: “I don’t see how that’s any of your business!”

    Related:
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
    Cause For Pregnant Pause

    Bohemian Medicine

    | NV, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Health & Body, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I work as a receptionist in a doctor’s office. There are about 10 people who have been waiting for at least 90 minutes. It’s very quiet. A young man mumbles something. Some people look his way, but other than that no one pays much attention to him. He then starts singing, a little louder…)

    Young Man: “Put a gun against his head…”

    (Some people chuckle.)

    Young Man: “Pulled my trigger…”

    (The young woman sitting across from him joins in.)

    Young Woman: “…now he’s dead.”

    Old Man: “Mama, life had just begun…”

    Young man: “But now I’ve gone and thrown it all awaaaay…”

    All Three: “Mama, oooooooh! Didn’t mean to make you cry!”

    Teenage Girl: “If I’m not back again this time tomorrow…”

    All: “…carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters!”

    (By now, everyone in the waiting room has joined in.)

    All: “Too late, my time has come! Send shivers down my spine, body’s achin’ all the time!”

    (They finish the refrain just as the doctor calls his next patient. Needless to say, that little impromptu performance really brightened my day!)