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    The Customer Spent Money But The Child Is Complimentary

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (I work at a big box store in the jewellery department. I am usually the only one there during the mornings. I am also seven months pregnant. I am helping a lady pick out a new watch, with her younger old daughter sitting in the cart. This happens just as the lady is about to pay for her item.)

    Me: “And here’s your change. Thank you for shopping with us!”

    Lady: “Thank you. Good luck with the future baby!”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Little Girl: “I bet the baby will be pretty because you are pretty like a princess!”

    Me: “Aww, thanks!”

    (I couldn’t stop smiling after they left. Little girl made my week! And my baby was the prettiest baby in the hospital when she was born – nurses even thought so!)

    Treading Softly On A Hard Argument

    | Australia | Awesome Workers, Top

    (I am helping in the pillows department. I have been showing a customer some soft polyester pillows, as she seems to like them.)

    Customer #1: “Hmm, what’s that one over there? It looks nice.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s a memory foam pillow. It’s quite a bit firmer than the one you’re looking at there. Here, you can feel it.”

    Customer #1: *squeezes pillow* “Oh, yuck! As if anyone could sleep on that, it’s like a brick!”

    (She continues in this vein for some time, until I show her some feather ones and leave her to browse them. Another customer approaches me.)

    Customer #2: “I’m looking for the cheapest pillows you’ve got!”

    Me: “Okay, well we have this twin pack of polyester pillows over here for $10!”

    Customer #2: “Oh, that’s a good price.” *squeezes pillows* “Eww, they’re way too soft! I could never sleep on that, there’s no support in them!”

    Me: “In that case, you would probably like a memory foam or latex pillow.”

    (I spend some time showing her the harder kinds of pillows. Suddenly I notice that Customer #1 is standing in front of me looking very disapproving.)

    Customer #1: “You told me that a soft one would be better!”

    Customer #2: “Well, she told me that hard ones are better!”

    (They glare at each other for a few seconds, then both turn on me.)

    Customer #2: “Which ones are really better?”

    Me: “Uh, well neither kind is better than the other. A lot of people like polyester and feather ones because their head sinks in to it and they have a comfortable night’s sleep, plus they’re much cheaper. But some people need more support, especially if they have a back or neck problem. A lot of chiropractors suggest memory foam and latex pillows for that.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, yeah? Well I bet you have these ones on your bed because they’re better!”

    Customer #2: “Pfft, yeah right… she would have these ones!”

    Customer #1: “Nuh uh!”

    Me: *cutting into the nonsense* “Well, actually I have two [brand] memory foam pillows on my bed, and two [brand] polyester pillows on my bed. Sometimes I feel more comfortable with the hard ones, sometimes the soft ones, other times one of each! It means I get to pick and choose each night.”

    (The customers both look like they have been hit in the face with one of our gourmet fry-pans. They make eye contact, then silently begin browsing different pillows. Even better: I later saw each of them leave later on, both of them carrying two hard and two soft pillows!)

    What A Tool, Part 2

    | WA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I work for a large department store known for selling tools and hardware under their own brand. They have a lifetime guarantee on tools of this brand, and will exchange any broken or defective tool at any time. I am working in the tools department. A customer comes into the store with a whole lot of tools.)

    Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to exchange all of my tools for new ones.”

    Me:All of your tools? Are they broken?”

    Customer: “No, they’re not broken. They’re used. I want new nice looking tools.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we cannot exchange all of your tools just because they’re used. We can only exchange them if they are broken or defective.”

    Customer: “But they have a lifetime guarantee! I can exchange them any time I want! And now they’re used, and I just got a new job working for a car dealership, and I want new tools that look nice! You have to exchange these!”

    Me: “Sir, are you going to be actually working on cars, or just hanging your tools on your wall?”

    Customer: “Get me your manager now!”

    (I call my manager, and overhear part of his conversation with the customer.)

    Customer: “No, they’re just used. I want new tools that look nice for my new job at a car dealership.”

    Manager: “So, are you actually going to work on cars with your tools, or just hang them on the wall?”

    Customer: *leaves in a huff*

    Related:
    What A Tool

    Earmark That Sound Advice

    | UK | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m doing a sales pitch to my customers, a husband and wife, and they’re really getting interested. We’re going round all the products. There is good banter going on, jokes etc. However, out of nowhere, an old lady barges between them and grabs my ear.)

    Old Lady: “I have been asking you where the toilets are!”

    Me: “Please let go of my ear!”

    Old Lady: “It’s rude to disrespect your elders! Where are the toilets?!”

    Husband: *knocks the old lady’s hand away from my ear*

    Old Lady: *to the man* “You assaulted me!”

    Husband: “You have no case, and I didn’t hear you asking this young lady about the loos. My wife and I have been talking to her for at least ten minutes.”

    Old Lady: “Of course I have a case! You hit me! She saw it!” *points to me*

    Husband: “She has a better case against you for assault.”

    Old Lady: “No she does not!”

    (The husband calmly pulls out a business card and hands it to me.)

    Husband: *to me* “I’ll gladly take her to court for you for free.”

    (Reading the card I see his name, followed by ‘Head of Legal Advice for [company]‘.)

    Me: “Thank you!” *to the old lady* “The loos are down that way on the left; follow the signs.”

    (I am rubbing ear as the old lady walks off, sulking. I turn to the couple.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry about that.”

    Husband: “No need. Anyway, keep the card, just in case!”

    Eating With The Tongs Of Honesty

    | Kent, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I work in a department store in the kitchenware and electrical department. The shop is famous for its open returns policy; i.e. a customer can pretty much return anything. As I’m in charge of returns, so this is usually a big headache.)

    Customer: “Hi, I need this to bring these items in. It’s a bit of long story.”

    Me: “Uh sure, is there a fault with them?”

    Customer: “Oh no, it’s just that I ordered a pair of cooking tongs from your website, and my receipt just says one. I only get the amount for one debited from my account.”

    Me: “Okay?”

    Customer: “Well, I only wanted one, but I had six sent to me and I called your helpline and they said post it in, but I wanted to bring it in to make sure it gets here.”

    Me: “Just so I’ve got this right: you only paid for one, receipted for one, you got six, and you’re bringing the other five back here?”

    Customer: “Yup! Do you need to check my order or something?”

    Me: “No! Sorry if I seem confused; this just never happens. I’ll take those and we’ll just add them. Thank you for your honesty, and here, have these tokens or some free coffee and cake from one of our cafe bars!”

    Customer: “Oh, no! Don’t give me those for being honest; have nice day!”

    (I told my line manager what happened. She said it wasn’t uncommon for the wrong amount of items to be sent, but we never usually get honest customers coming back!)

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