No Returns And No Understanding

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(I usually work the floor and I happen to overhear a conversation as I am near the refunds counter.)

Customer: “Hello. I’d like to return some clothes I’ve bought.”

Cashier: “Sure. Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “Yep, I’ve got it right here.”

(The customer then puts on the counter a bag from a different store and pulls out a receipt from said store.)

Cashier: “Oh, sorry. I can’t return those. They weren’t bought from here.”

Customer: “But I have the receipt for them. If I have a receipt, I can return what I’ve bought.”

Cashier: “You can only return items to the store you purchased them from. These are from [Other Store], not here.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. I have a receipt. Why won’t you give me a refund?!”

Cashier: “Because they weren’t purchase from here.”

Customer: “But I have the receipt. I did buy them!”

Cashier: “You didn’t buy them from [Our Store Chain]. You bought them from [Other Store]. To get a refund you need to take it back to one of their stores.”

Customer: “But why? If I have a receipt I can return it anywhere.”

Cashier: “I can’t give you the refund because we never received the money . You didn’t buy the items from here, which therefore means we can’t resell the items, since we don’t stock them.”

Customer: “Yes, but [Other Store] is so far away. I don’t have time to go there. I have my receipt. Please give me my money back.”

Cashier: “We never received your money in the first place.”

Customer: “So I’m not getting a refund?”

Cashier: “Not from here I’m afraid.”

(The customer begins to walk away, mumbling.)

You Can Count On Some Customers

| Australia | Awesome Customers, Bizarre

(We have a few regulars in the store that we give nicknames. There is one middle-aged man who often wears a long black cloak with a high collar. He speaks with a thick Transylvanian-sounding accent, so I refer to him as ‘The Count.’)

The Count: “Hellooooo, daaaahliiing. Do you have any more of zese glasses?”

(I go out to the back and find another box. We’ve had a few problems with boxes being sent to us with broken pieces inside. I open it to show the customer all of them are fine.)

The Count: “Ahhhh, yes. Zey are very nice. And, let’s see…”

(He points at each in turn like ‘The Count’ from Sesame Street.)

The Count: “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! They’re all there! Ah, ha, ha!”

(He takes the box out of my hands and goes to the counter with a sweep of his cloak. I guess some people live up to their nicknames!)

Bad Re-action Figure

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I am browsing the board games in the toy aisle. I am on the border of the action figures, and the dolls aisles. A mother and young daughter walk by.)

Mother: “Boys have so much cooler toys.”

Daughter: “What?”

Mother: “Don’t you want a boy toy?”

Daughter: “No!”

A Negative Reaction To The Lotion

| NB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I work in the beauty department.)

Me: “Good afternoon! Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: “Well, I’m here to return something.”

Me: “That’s a shame. May I ask why you’re returning it?”

Customer: “Well I just didn’t like it.”

(There are only two ways we can return a product: if it’s defective, or if they have an allergic reaction.)

Me: “I’m very sorry you didn’t like the product. However, I am unable to return it at the time. Can I ask you how much did you use?”

(The customer hands me over the product and glares at me. I open the product to find that the entire thing has been used.)

Me: “Ma’am, the bottle is empty.”

Customer: “Well of course it is! I had to use it to find out if I liked it!”

Me: “You can’t return this product, as there is nothing there to return. It’s like bringing in a shoe box with no shoes in it!”

Customer: “Well, that just does not make any sense! You people should return this! I didn’t like it! This company is worthless!” *stomps off*

The Road To Hell Is Paved With Detoured Intentions

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top, Transportation

(On break, I read on my phone that there has been a horrible truck accident. News reports say traffic will be shut down along that highway for several hours. After break, I am ringing up a customer and notice where she is from.)

Me: “Just curious, but were you planning on taking the turnpike home?”

Customer: “Yes, why?”

Me: “There’s an accident, and it will be shut down for a few hours. You might want to try taking another route.”

Customer: “What? This is ridiculous. What will you do for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I’ll have to go out of my way; this will cost gas, and I might be late. You need to compensate me for that! Where’s your manager?”

Me: “I am the department manager and… no. We won’t compensate you because the turnpike is closed.”

Customer: “I’ll contact your headquarters! Forget this stuff; I’m not shopping here again!”

(She storms off before finishing paying. Apparently she did contact our corporate, who were quite confused and wouldn’t give her compensation either.)

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