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    Doing Customer Service A Disservice

    | Australia | Awesome Workers, Bigotry

    (I am called up to do a price check on an item from my department. There is a long line of customers, but several serving staff. One of them is a lovely young girl wearing a Muslim headscarf who is trying to help a cranky looking old woman. My coworker is visibly upset.)

    Me: *to my coworker* “Hi! What do you need a price che—”

    Customer: “That [racial slur] is trying to rip me off! This [very expensive crystal decanter set] was meant to be $30. There’s a sign over there!”

    Me: “Okay, look, you’re going to need to use appropriate language in this store if you want any of us to continue serving you. Now, I know for a fact that this set should be around the $200 mark. See, it has the original price here of $299? There is no way it would be $30.”

    (The customer argues with me a bit until I ask her to show me the sign. She grumbles all the way about me being unable to do my job and making a poor old woman walk to the back of the store. We get to the crystal section, and she points triumphantly to a large sign on top of the stand.)

    Me: “That says 30% off the marked price of all crystal-ware.”

    Customer: “Exactly! You’d better give it to me for free because it scanned wrong. I’ve been dreadfully inconvenienced by you. What terrible customer service!”

    (She continues in this manner all the way back to the register, where she again begins making loud racial comments about my Muslim coworker, who I see walking away from the registers. The other customers in line are clearly uncomfortable. I agree to call my manager down, but for different reasons than what she thinks.)

    Customer: *spots the manager* “A-ha! I’ve been waiting for you! I want you—”

    Manager: “Get out.”

    Customer:Excuse me?”

    Manager: “[Coworker] just came out to me in tears because you were making disgusting comments about her. We don’t tolerate your type in this store. Now get out before I call security.”

    Customer: “Well, I never—”

    (The other customers in line begin clapping or adding their own comments. She eventually storms out, but we had to have her removed from the store twice later that day!)

    Best Put That Topic To Bed

    | Nottinghamshire, England, UK | Rude & Risque, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (I work in the bedroom department. My job is to approach passers-by and ask about what they’re looking for. A couple I ask takes an interest in a headboard.)

    Husband: “That’s no good for us, sweetie.”

    Wife: “Why not?”

    Husband: “Well…” *looks at me directly* “…there’s nowhere to put the handcuffs!”

    (I worked in Ann Summers for a year, and whilst I was unemployed did paid reviews on BDSM and other such toys.)

    Me: *smiling sweetly* “To be honest, the under-bed cuffing systems work so much better, especially the German makes. Plus they’re a lot more discreet. But if you’re infrequent users you may want to try bondage tape, it’s a lot cheaper in the long run, and it doesn’t like any visible marks or pulls on hair.”

    Husband: *turns red*

    Wife: *to her husband* “You had that coming.”

    How Sweet It Is To Be In Line By You

    | KY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (My three-year-old daughter and I are waiting to check out with a few odds and ends. Unfortunately, the store has only one lane open and several people are waiting in line. I don’t mind, as my daughter and I decide to pass the time playfully sword-fighting with paint stirrers. When I turn to the side, I notice the couple behind me has just one little ream of Post-Its.)

    Me: *to the couple behind me* “Would you like to go ahead of us? You’ve got much fewer items than we do!”

    Lady: “But…you have a kid!”

    Me: “It’s fine! We’re just playing together! Go ahead!”

    Lady: “But kids sometimes get bored of waiting. Are you sure?”

    Me: “Of course! You just have one thing! She’ll be fine; I promise! C’mon, go ahead!” *I scoot aside*

    Lady: “Wow! Thanks!”

    (When it’s time for them to check out, the man holds up his hand to the cashier.)

    Man: “I’ll be right back!”

    (He scrambles over to the next aisle and picks up a package of M&Ms to add to the order. After paying, the man turns around with the package of candy and hands it to my daughter.)

    Man: “Here you go, kiddo!” *to me* “Thanks again for letting us go ahead of you!”

    (It really put a smile on the cashier’s face…and ours too!)

    Putting The Dire Into Directions

    | Berlin, Germany | Geography

    (My department store doesn’t sell all the ranges of clothes that the chain produces. However, there is another store just 200 meters to the left that I always tell people to go to when they are looking for an item we don’t have.)

    Customer: “Do you have these shoes in [size]?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have any in stock, but if you can’t find your size here you could try the other store, which is two hundred meters to the left.”

    Customer: “So, I go out and then to the right?”

    Me: “No, the store is just to the left.”

    Customer: “How far is it?”

    Me: “As I said, just two hundred meters from here.”

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know? I’m from [another big city nearby].”

    Me: “Yeah, but two hundred meters is the same distance in that place as it is here.”

    Customer: *sighing* “This city is just too big for me!”

    This Silver Story Is Pure Gold

    | New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Religion

    (A woman is attempting to return some rusted silverware she brought around five years ago from our store. Since it’s no longer on file and I can’t find any information on it, I call my manager, who happens to be both a former priest, and married.)

    Manager: “Okay, ma’am, please understand I can’t return this for its original price as this set is no longer in our system. I can return it for the price of our cheapest on-hand set, though.”

    Customer: “No, I want it for the original price. Nothing less. It was about $90.00, I believe.”

    Manager: “I am sorry ma’am, but I can’t do that on an item that’s over five years old.”

    Customer: “Oh, I think you can.” *she leans over the register and purses her lips* “I’d make it worth your while.”

    Manager: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: *smiles seductively* “I’m sure I could find some means of compensating you for such a nice favor.”

    (My manager stares at the woman for several seconds, then pulls out his wallet.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, I’d like you to have a look at this…”

    (The manager pulls out his ID that shows he’s been ordained.)

    Manager: “Now, I want you to look at this.”

    (He pulls out a picture of him with his wife, while holding up the hand his wedding ring is on.)

    Manager: “Now, I want you to take your cruddy silverware and leave before I call security.”

    Customer: *reels back* “Well, I never! I hope that b**** divorces your a** and takes everything you own, you f***!” *storms out*


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