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    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 4

    | SA, Australia | Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I’m looking for this vacuum cleaner.”

    (The customer points to a picture in our latest clearance brochure.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but it’s sold out. I can take a rain-check if you like.”

    Customer: “What do you mean it’s sold out? It’s in your catalogue!”

    Me: “Yeah, but this sale started more than a week ago. They’re going for 80% off, so they’ve been pretty popular. All of our stores in the state are sold out, but we’re hoping to order more in if we get enough rain-checks.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand. Where are they in this store?”

    Me: “Uh, we don’t have any. They’re all gone. They sold out several days ago.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Well… because other customers bought them I guess?”

    Customer: “Why did they do that?”

    Me: “Probably for the same reason you wanted to get one—to vacuum with.”

    Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t let people buy them all!” *storms out*

    Related:
    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 3
    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 2

    A Bit Light On Being Polite

    | Yonkers, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m buying an item that offers certain customization options, and I’ve requested that mine have quite a bit of work done. I’ve made a few mistakes explaining what I want, and each one means the employee has to start from the very beginning.)

    Employee: “Okay, I think it’s finally right. Can you take a look and confirm that all this is what you want?”

    (The employee shows me the screen.)

    Me: “Yeah, yeah, whoops. Sorry, this is wrong.”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, my mistake. Let me see if I can void that one item—”

    (The terminal goes black.)

    Employee: “MOTHERF—whoops! Sorry, shouldn’t have said that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry that my order is causing so much trouble.”

    Employee: “Dude, you have no freaking idea. I don’t care if your order takes an hour, you’re actually being patient. I’m going to do what it takes to make sure you get everything the way you want it.”

    Me: “I hope being minimally polite isn’t something that stands out so much from the—”

    (There’s a crash from the next checkout counter.)

    Other Employee: “But, sir, I ran the card four times, and it got rejected each time—”

    Customer: *holding an item and smashing it into the counter* “RUN THE F****** CARD! IT’S MINE!”

    Other Employee: “I never said it wasn’t yours!”

    Employee: “What was that about being polite?”

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (I’m looking through a display of jeans when a middle-aged customer approaches me. It’s the middle of winter.)

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Um, yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “You work here, right?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry; I don’t.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well you’re not wearing a coat!”

    Me: “Yeah, I rented a locker so that I wouldn’t have to carry around a big heavy coat while I shop.”

    Customer: “Well that’s stupid. How am I supposed to know you don’t work here if you’re not wearing a coat?”

    Me: “Uhh, the lack of uniform?”

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

    Out Of The Frying Pan…

    | SA, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

    (A customer is browsing our sale frying pans, which are gift boxed. On top of the pile of boxes is a frying pan that has been taken out so customers don’t keep opening new boxes to look at them.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, are any of these out on display? I don’t want to buy one if I don’t know what it looks like.”

    Me: “Yep, there’s this one right here.”

    Customer: “Oh, I didn’t think it was the same one. It looks different to the one in the picture. The one in the picture has vegetables in it.”

    (I laugh politely, thinking it’s a joke.)

    Customer: “So, are there vegetables in the box?”

    Me: “Um… no. It’s just a frying pan, and a glass lid. If there was food in there, it would go off.”

    (The customer continues browsing, while I am called away to help someone else. As I am passing back by the first customer, I notice he is roughly pulling a new frying pan out of the gift box, tearing it up.)

    Me: “Uh, do you need some help here?”

    Customer: “I just wanted to see what this frying pan looks like before I buy it.”

    Me: “It’s exactly the same as the one on display. We put that out so everyone can see what it looks like. That way, people will stop pulling new stock out of boxes and wrecking them.”

    Customer: “I know, but I want to see what this one looks like. Yes, this should be fine. Oh, but the box is all torn up. Can you give me a discount for that?”

    She Crossed The Line, Part 2

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

    (I’m serving on the registers. There is an enormous line of people, so many of them have been waiting more than ten minutes to make their purchases. I look at the man at the front of the line and call him up. As he is walking up to my counter, an old woman with a walking frame, with remarkable speed, pushes through the adjacent layby line and throws her items at me, then turns and glares at the other man. The customer I called waves his hand at me to let her through. We both assumed that due to her age, she may not have realised that she came in the wrong way.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Get on with it.”

    Me: “Uh, okay. So, just checking, are you just purchasing these today? I noticed you were in the layby line before.”

    Customer: “Of course I’m bloody well buying them! Why else would I be here?”

    (She puts more items on the counter, rudely shoving another customer’s stuff to the side, making some clothes fall on the ground. My coworker and I quickly pick up the items so they don’t get dusty.)

    Customer: “Why were you helping her? You’re supposed to be serving me, but you’re not doing a very good job of it!”

    Me: “Some clothes got knocked on to the floor, so I was picking them up to make sure they weren’t damaged. Now, I’m happy to put your items through. Just so you know, next time you actually need to line up over there. There is a big line waiting for the registers, but that nice man let you through.”

    Customer: “Well how was I supposed to know where to line up? There are no signs.”

    Me: “Well… there are around 30 people standing in the line that you just walked past. Also the wall just behind me says ‘Purchases: Pay Here’, while the one you were at says ‘Layby’.”

    (I point to all the large signs, but the customer isn’t even looking where I am pointing.)

    Customer: “You need to put signs up. That’s misleading.”

    (I ignore the last bit, since I’ve already explained it to her. I finish putting her sale through.)

    Me: “Alright then here’s your bag and receipt; have a nice day!”

    Customer: “I won’t! Because you RUINED it!”

    Other Customer’s Small Child: “Wow. What a crazy old bat!”

    Related:
    She Crossed The Line


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