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  • Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength, Part Two

    , | Australia | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Technology

    (I work in the sporting department with another coworker. A customer comes up.)

    Customer: “Hey, uh, do you have that thing? Where you put stuff in the thing and the thing turns it?”

    (My coworker and I exchange confused glances.)

    Me: “Sorry. What do you mean?”

    Customer: *attempting to use confusing hand gestures* “You know, that thing where you put the stuff in the thing, and it turns and gets hot?”

    Coworker: “You mean a microwave?”

    Related:
    Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength

    If You Behave Like Children…

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I have just finished a long and difficult transaction. I have been calmly trying to guide the customer through the transaction, but the customer has become increasingly frustrated and angry. The angry customer has just had a temper tantrum and stomped off, and I start to help the next customer.)

    Next Customer: “Wow, some people get so angry about really little things. How did you stay so calm all that time?”

    Me: “I have kids.”

    No Returns And No Understanding

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I usually work the floor and I happen to overhear a conversation as I am near the refunds counter.)

    Customer: “Hello. I’d like to return some clothes I’ve bought.”

    Cashier: “Sure. Do you have the receipt?”

    Customer: “Yep, I’ve got it right here.”

    (The customer then puts on the counter a bag from a different store and pulls out a receipt from said store.)

    Cashier: “Oh, sorry. I can’t return those. They weren’t bought from here.”

    Customer: “But I have the receipt for them. If I have a receipt, I can return what I’ve bought.”

    Cashier: “You can only return items to the store you purchased them from. These are from [Other Store], not here.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand. I have a receipt. Why won’t you give me a refund?!”

    Cashier: “Because they weren’t purchase from here.”

    Customer: “But I have the receipt. I did buy them!”

    Cashier: “You didn’t buy them from [Our Store Chain]. You bought them from [Other Store]. To get a refund you need to take it back to one of their stores.”

    Customer: “But why? If I have a receipt I can return it anywhere.”

    Cashier: “I can’t give you the refund because we never received the money . You didn’t buy the items from here, which therefore means we can’t resell the items, since we don’t stock them.”

    Customer: “Yes, but [Other Store] is so far away. I don’t have time to go there. I have my receipt. Please give me my money back.”

    Cashier: “We never received your money in the first place.”

    Customer: “So I’m not getting a refund?”

    Cashier: “Not from here I’m afraid.”

    (The customer begins to walk away, mumbling.)

    You Can Count On Some Customers

    | Australia | Awesome Customers, Bizarre

    (We have a few regulars in the store that we give nicknames. There is one middle-aged man who often wears a long black cloak with a high collar. He speaks with a thick Transylvanian-sounding accent, so I refer to him as ‘The Count.’)

    The Count: “Hellooooo, daaaahliiing. Do you have any more of zese glasses?”

    (I go out to the back and find another box. We’ve had a few problems with boxes being sent to us with broken pieces inside. I open it to show the customer all of them are fine.)

    The Count: “Ahhhh, yes. Zey are very nice. And, let’s see…”

    (He points at each in turn like ‘The Count’ from Sesame Street.)

    The Count: “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! They’re all there! Ah, ha, ha!”

    (He takes the box out of my hands and goes to the counter with a sweep of his cloak. I guess some people live up to their nicknames!)

    Bad Re-action Figure

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (I am browsing the board games in the toy aisle. I am on the border of the action figures, and the dolls aisles. A mother and young daughter walk by.)

    Mother: “Boys have so much cooler toys.”

    Daughter: “What?”

    Mother: “Don’t you want a boy toy?”

    Daughter: “No!”

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