Number-Crusher

| Cornelius, OR, USA | At The Checkout, One-Liners, Rude & Risque

(I am 19 and working at the register in the slowest and emptiest part of the store, so I tend to get a lot of creepy people with no one in sight to help me. A customer in his 50s comes up and I ring him up. As I finish the transaction…)

Customer: “So, do you have a boyfriend?”

Me: *laughs, thinking he’s going to be sweet* “No.”

Customer: “Wanna go out some time?”

Me: “Oh, thank you but no.”

Customer: *gets annoyed* “Why not?”

Me: “Um… you’re just a little bit too old for me.”

Customer: “You know, age is just a number in your mind…”

Me: “Yeah, but yours is a REALLY big number…”

A Photo Perfect Finish

, | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests

(I work in the photo processing department of a large retailer. A customer comes in and starts thumbing through the 2×2″ square frames suitable for passport photos, etc. displayed on the processing counter.)

Customer: *abruptly* “Excuse me, can you print photos at this size?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the smallest square size the printer will allow us to produce is 5×5″ – that paper is the smallest paper we have available.”

Customer: “Well, what good is that? This is ridiculous.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “It’s disgusting; this is false and misleading advertising! How dare you stock a product if you won’t stock the supplementary parts!”

Me: “Using that same flawed logic, ma’am, you could argue that it’s false and misleading advertising insofar as we stock baby car-seats, but not cars – or babies!”

(Customer blinked, stared blankly, and then stormed off.)

Trying To Dress Themselves Up

| Livingston, NJ, USA | Family & Kids

(A woman and her small child are walking through the men’s department.)

Kid: “Are we allowed to be in here?”

Woman: “Of course we are! Men don’t buy their own clothes anyway!”

Has Beef With And In The Grill

, | Beavercreek, OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(A customer walks up to the register with a [Famous-Name Brand] grill.)

Me: “Is this a return?”

Customer: “Yes, I bought this two days ago and it does not work.”

Me: “I’m sorry; do you want a replacement?”

Customer: “No, I would never buy that product again.”

(I process the return, apologize to the customer, and he walks away. I go through the grill to process the defective merchandise ticket when I notice a funky odor. I open it up, and there is a steak on the grill. My coworker peers over my shoulder.)

Coworker: “Free food!”

Factoring In The Factory

| Caledonia, NY, USA | Extra Stupid

(I’m a cashier and a customer comes in one day wanting to return a pair of earbuds, so I begin processing the return.)

Customer: “You guys need to learn how to make your electronics work better when you put them together in the back.”

Me: “Sir, we don’t manufacture any products in the back room. Everything is shipped to us.”

Customer: “What do you mean you don’t make anything here? I thought all stores did that!”

Page 3/1312345...Last