I worked in the office at a major department store. The customer service area was divided into two sections. There was a counter where customers could pay their bills, etc., and behind them was an area where people sat at desks answering service calls. These departments were not related; they just appeared to share their space.

My department was separated from that area by a half-wall, so I was not involved but had a ringside seat.

This was before computers, so everything had to be done by hand. I was in awe of this one employee who sat at her desk holding two phone receivers, one at each ear. She would put one caller on hold to talk to another.

One day, a man came in to be helped at the counter. The lady who was helping him had to get a file or something. She was taking too long because he started actually shouting at the lady with the two phones. How dare she forget about him?! The phone lady, to her credit, just stared at him. We all just stared at him.

Finally, the lady who was actually helping him came back and set him straight.

I am a cashier in a department store. A customer is in line next to me and is being served by another cashier.

Customer: “What’s that bandage on your neck? Are you trying to hide some kind of inappropriate love bite?”

Cashier: “No. I just got a tattoo there yesterday and it’s still healing.”

Customer: “A tattoo?! But this is a respectable store! You’re not allowed to get a tattoo!”

Cashier: “Actually, as long as the tattoo isn’t obscene, there are no rules against staff having visible tattoos.

Customer: “All tattoos are obscene! This can’t be right. I’m talking to your manager about this!”

The customer storms off at the same time that I happen to need to speak to the manager, so I’m right behind this customer when they finally go off on said manager.

Customer: “Did you know your cashier has a tattoo on her neck?!”

Manager: “Oh, my God, really?”

Customer: “Yes, I am glad you’re as appalled as I am!”

Manager: “Absolutely! She’s been talking to us for over a year about getting that tattoo! I’m so happy she finally did it, but I agree it’s appalling it took her so long!”

Customer: “What?!”

[Manager] pulls down their collar revealing a similar tattoo.

Manager: “It’s a cancer survivor tattoo! Now we’re matching! I’m so happy!”

Customer: “This is obscene!”

Manager: “What is? That we’ve both found a way to celebrate the joy in defeating cancer in a way that harms literally no one, or that you’ve decided to be offended by it?”

Customer: “Well… I… Stop putting words in my mouth!”

The customer stormed out and my manager went to high-five the cashier.

This is an example of a great reason to get a tattoo! On the flip-side, we also have 23 Wild Customer Stories About Tattoos, And Those Who Should Never Be Allowed To Get One!

I have a chronic sinus condition that gets aggravated by cold weather, so basically from November through March, I sound like I’m just getting over a head cold. If I actually DO get a cold, then taking full doses of every “severe” OTC medicine at once might get me down to normal levels of congestion. It’s tons of fun.

Since the Big Global Health Circus™ started, I’ve taken to just wearing a mask when going out during colder weather because I know I’m gonna be sniffing and coughing until I get back home and warm up fully. It doesn’t actually make me sniff LESS, but it seems to be enough of a signal of “I know I sound sick; I’m dealing with it” to keep the busybodies from forcing unsolicited advice on me.

Usually.

Today, I’m in line, minding my own business, when a “gentleman” walks up behind me. He’s wearing a particular red hat, a shirt espousing his choice for the long-resolved 2020 election, and a bad attitude. I wouldn’t have noticed any of this if he hadn’t started the conversation thusly.

Customer: “How come you’re wearing that slave collar?”

I slowly turn with a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You know the f***s in charge just tell you to wear that stupid s*** so they know who the f****** sheep are, right?”

Me: “Or, y’know, I’m possibly sick and I don’t want to spread germs?”

Customer: “That mask ain’t doin’ s***, and the f****** [Country] flu’s just a bunch of—”

As if subconsciously reacting to the man’s rant — and yes, he still calls it that racist thing — I suddenly get a tremendous built-up coughing fit. Thankfully, I feel it coming just enough to turn my head and plant my face into my elbow, mask still on, muffling it all as much as possible. After that’s all done, I also sneeze several times. Once I’m sure I’m done, my breathing is back to normal, and the spots are cleared from my eyes, I turn to look at him.

Me: “So, you’re saying you would have been fine if I just did that all over you and your groceries?”

The guy stared at me open-mouthed; I’m pretty sure he couldn’t figure out whether to be angry or disgusted. Thankfully, a spot opened up and I went to check out my few little things. I heard him start getting loud and angry behind me at someone working there.

Related:
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 29
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 28
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 27
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 26
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 25

My mom worked at a department store back in the day. She was working in customer service when some old lady brought in her new weed eater, trying to return it.

Customer: *Complaining* “This weed eater ate my flowers, too!”

Mom: *Confused* “How are you using it, ma’am?”

Customer: “I was trying to get the weeds out of my flower bed, and so I used the weed eater, but it ate everything! It didn’t just eat the weeds!”

Mom: “Well, it would do that if you aimed it at the flowers.”

Customer: “Do you have one that will go around the flowers?”

While I’m working in the home department of a store, a customer approaches me.

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for a bathroom mirror.”

Me: “Certainly, we have bathroom mirrors here.”

We walk to the bathroom section, and she becomes immediately frustrated.

Customer: “No, you don’t have them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is the bathroom section. This is most of our stock, but what kind of mirror are you looking for?”

Customer: “A bathroom mirror.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but these are bathroom mirrors. Did you mean a mirror you could screw onto your wall?”

Customer: “No, no. I’m looking for those mirrors where you can see the back of your head.”

Me: “Um… you want to see the back of your head with a mirror?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “You would absolutely need two mirrors to do that: one you can see in, preferably in front of you, and one behind you showing you the back of your head but also facing the mirror in front of you. Quite honestly, what you’re looking for doesn’t exist.”

Customer: “So, you don’t stock mirrors that show you the back of your head?

Me: “No…”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll check somewhere else.”

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Bed, Bath, And Way Beyond