I work in customer services for a pretty big department store in the UK. A customer orders a bunch of baby stuff, including a car seat with a separate base it sits on you can rotate it, to make it easier to get the baby out of the car.

I get a call from that customer later.

Me: “Hello there, you’ve reached [Retailer] customer services. My name is [My Name]. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I received the wrong car seat.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. Let’s get that swapped for you… So… you said you got the wrong car seat?”

I must repeat things back to the customer to ensure I’m taking the correct notes to get the order fixed.

Customer: “YES! I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU I NEED THE OTHER ONE, NOT THIS ONE!”

Me: “All righty, that’s easy enough to fix. I’ll just speak to our delivery team and get this sorted for you, quick as a button.”

I gather some information and call our delivery team.

Me: “[Customer] didn’t get the right car seat; she got [model #1], not [model #2].”

According to the delivery team, the system says her car seat hasn’t shipped yet, so now we spend twenty-five minutes trying to figure out how she somehow got an extra car seat on in her delivery. It shouldn’t be possible.

Eventually, we manage to arrange a collection for the incorrect one and for the right one to be sent out via next-day delivery since she paid for that delivery type.

I go back to the customer and tell her that it’s sorted.

Customer: “So, I’m getting it tomorrow, then? Good. It wouldn’t do for me to have my car seat on Thursday if I didn’t have the base for it to sit on.”

I literally stayed silent for like twenty seconds and slammed my head on the desk in defeat.

She hung up, and I spent the next twenty minutes correcting the mistake since she told me the wrong item was missing. To clarify: the base didn’t arrive, but she received a second, different car seat instead, while the correct seat was due to be delivered in a few days.

She told me that it was the car seat itself that was missing and wasted loads of time getting us to replace an item she hadn’t yet received. And getting everything corrected caused me to leave work late and miss my train home.

I’m working as a cashier during high school. A really nice, very cheerful old lady pushes her cart up to the counter. The cart contains piles upon piles of children’s clothes.

Customer: “These are for my grandchildren!”

After scanning each piece of clothing, folding them, and then bagging them, we come to the total: around $200. She searches through her purse, pulls out three [Store #1] gift cards, and hands them to me with a smile.

Customer: “I’ve been holding onto these.”

I don’t know what to say at first. My coworkers look at me awkwardly and the other customers in line get really quiet.

Me: “Ma’am… I’m so sorry, but this is [Store #2].”

I could pinpoint the exact moment when she realized, and then she just drifted toward the exit, a blank expression on her face. I felt terrible for her.

Several years ago, I was working on the register at a large department store chain. A woman came to my register. She had a full cart and was on a phone call while she waited in line.

Eventually, she came to the front of the line but remained on the phone, and she didn’t even look in my direction.

Then, the call finally ended.

Customer: “Why didn’t you scan or bag my items?!”

Me: “You didn’t even give them to me. And I didn’t want to interrupt your phone call.”

Customer: “You’re a f****** idiot.”

I finally did get to scan and bag her items. Then…

Customer: “You should compensate me with a discount for being an idiot!”

Me: “I just can’t do that, ma’am.”

She paid full price and walked out, but she walked back in and found a manager, and then they walked to my register.

Customer: “This cashier gave me an attitude and wouldn’t do their job!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I heard the conversation you two had. You’re a liar.”

She stormed out, yelling over her shoulder:

Customer: “I’m calling corporate! I shop here all the time!”

I had never seen her before. And she didn’t call corporate.

I work at the call center for a large department store. I don’t work tech support, but every once in a while, one of their calls is accidentally routed to me, and I always try to help them the best I can.

An older schoolteacher calls in, and she is ranting and raving.

Caller: “You need to fix this stupid piece of technology that was just put in my classroom!”

After I calm her down, I discover she is calling in about a Smart Board. After going through a few of the basics, making sure it’s plugged in and that there are batteries in the remote, etc.

Caller: “But every time I push the power button on the remote for the Smart Board, the TV turns on!”

No… it can’t be. She’s a TEACHER.

Me: “What does the remote say on it?”

Caller: “Power, channels, volume.”

Me: “What is the brand name on it?”

Caller: “Toshiba.”

Me: “What is the brand of your TV?”

Caller: “…oh, s**—” *Click*

Related:
Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 7
Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 6
Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 5
Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 4
Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 3

I work at a copy counter in a department store. Two customers come up to my counter.

Customer: “We need a color copy of a license.”

Me: “You’re welcome to use our customer-use machines.”

A few minutes later, they come back to my counter, escorted by a coworker who works in another department.

Coworker: “These customers aren’t able to make their copies. Could you please show them how to?”

Me: “Of course. May I see the license?”

It turns out that the license isn’t a license at all but a black-and-white, flimsily taped-together copy of a license. I have to fight back a laugh while I explain.

Me: “It’s impossible for me to make a color copy of a black-and-white copy.”

Customer: “Oh, but I’ve done it before.”

Me: “It’s impossible to make a color copy of something in black and white unless you had someone digitally alter the picture and painstakingly add the color back in.”

She still didn’t quite believe me and swore her friend had done it with the same license. I tried to explain that they probably had the real license to do that, but my logic fell on deaf ears. The last I saw of the customer, she was on her phone, trying to figure out how to get the color back.