Sabbath Trumps Gambling

| NS, Canada | Crazy Requests, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I am working at the main cash of a department store, where we are having a ‘scratch and save’ promotion whereby customers are given cards to scratch and a reveal a certain percentage of savings. Note that it is a Sunday.)

Me: “And here’s your scratch and save card, ma’am!”

Customer: “Hmmm, I’m just deciding if I want you to scratch it or if I will.”

(This is pretty common, as many older customers aren’t able to easily scratch the card.)

Customer: “Did you go to church this morning?”

Me: “Nope! I’ve been working since opening.”

Customer: *suddenly a little less happy* “Well then, I better scratch it myself. For all I know, you’ve already put a hex on all the things I bought!”

Only A Hundredth Of The Intelligence

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Math & Science

(Our shop prints a lot of the sizes on products in cm when a lot of older customers are more familiar with inches.)

Customer: “Hi, I need help with these curtain sizes, please!”

Me: “What’s the matter?”

Customer: “It says here the length is 228 cm, but I’m not sure what that means.”

Me: “Okay, well 228 cm is roughly—”

Customer: “Because I need a 2.28 m length curtain!”

Me: “…”

Opinion-Hated

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers

(I work at a very high-end store. One of the perks we enjoy is that every year we get exclusive collections of expensive clothing, furniture, and other household items that you wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else. On this particular day a woman storms up to my register brandishing a piece of silverware from one such collection.)

Woman: “Hey, do you have any more of these in stock?”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am. We just got a fresh shipment in last week.”

Woman: “Good, I’ll take two sets to be delivered to my apartment. And be quick about it! I have to catch a train in ten minutes!”

(Ignoring her abrasive attitude, I quickly and efficiently ring her up, get her shipping details, and log the silverware to be sent off. She then practically rips the receipt out of my machine the instant it’s printed and runs out of my area. I think nothing more of this and go back to tidying the shelves up when, around an hour later, I get paged to help someone in the kitchen area nearby. Upon walking over I discover the same woman being helped by one of my co-workers.)

Coworker: “Ah, [My Name], this woman here is wondering if we have any pots and pans that match the silverware she just purchased from you. Thought you might be able to help her out with that. She’s in a bit of a hurry.”

(The woman looks at me and promptly turns sheet white.)

Me: “Hello again! Um… did your train get delayed?”

Coworker: “Train? No, she said she had a dental appointment.”

Me: “Oh… well, I’m sorry. I heard train and—”

(The woman promptly cuts me off with an agonizing scream.)

Woman: “Okay I admit it! I hate your f****ing store and every d*** s***-head that works here! If I had my way I’d have had this whole block demolished decades ago, but you’re the only place that carries [Designer] brand exclusive items so I’m trying to just get my stuff and get out of here as quick as possible so I don’t have to spend too long speaking to you f***ers! There, you happy now?!”

Me: *stunned* “Well… uh… not really, but if it helps at all you don’t have to lie to us like that. We can handle the occasional low opinion.”

Woman: “Burn in Hell!” *storms out*

The Application Of Reality

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It is the Saturday before Christmas and the store is extremely busy. Every employee is required to work, and even the store manager is on the sales floor helping customers.)

Customer: “I need you to help me find this item from your ad.”

Me: “Certainly. Just let me finish with the customer I am helping now, and then I can help you.”

Customer: “I can’t wait for you to finish. Isn’t there someone else who can help me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it is extremely busy today. I will be with you as soon as I can.”

Customer: “I want to see your manager. This is unacceptable.”

Me: *pointing to the register next to me* “She is with a customer right now, but I’m sure she will be happy to speak to you once she has finished.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! You need to hire more help!”

Me: “You are absolutely right, and as soon as I finish with this customer I will be happy to get you an application.”

I Used To Work Here, Does Not Work Here

| NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I’m currently shopping at a department store. I did in fact work in this store… more than ten years ago. Since then it has renovated twice, totally reorganizing the layout and expanding the tiny grocery section to nearly full supermarket size, but because I shop there so often I know my way around. I also have long hair, for a male, that I keep well washed and trimmed in a ponytail.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, I know you don’t work here, but do you know where [products] are?”

Me: “Last I saw them, they were down just on the other side of the produce stuff.”

Customer #1: “Thank you!”

(Another customer approaches after this exchange.)

Customer #2: “Wait, you work here?”

Me: “Not for about a decade, no.”

Customer #2: “Then why did you help her?”

Me: “Because she asked and I knew?”

Customer #2: “Well, that’s horribly rude of you! You’re taking away the jobs of the people that still work!”

Me: “No, I was saving someone the hassle of either finding an employee, or buzzing for one and having to wait.”

Customer #2: “That’s still the employees’ job! And what, you quit a decade ago and you’re still not working?!”

Me: *laughing at this point* “Are you serious? WHY would you think that?!”

Customer #2: “That ridiculous hair of yours, for one. You look like a slob!”

Me: “Funny, that’s not what the CEO of the company said when he was congratulating me on my promotion to the manager of the shipping department where I work now. Now, do YOU need help finding anything? Or can I get back to getting my groceries?”

(I’m not sure whether she was more astounded by the fact that I ‘dared’ talk back to her, or that I was calm yet laughing the whole time, but she was still giving me a death glare when I went to go about my business!)

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