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    Almost Surgical With Their Inconsideration

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am a general dentist and have to be out of the office for surgery that is semi-emergency in nature. We call all the patients and let them know why we have to reschedule their appointments and apologize and let them know we have a colleague covering. The night before surgery, I answer the phone and it is one of the patients we had called to reschedule.)

    Patient: “You called to reschedule my appointment.”

    Me: “I apologize but I’m having surgery tomorrow. When is a good time to get you back?”

    Patient: “There’s never a good time. You really can’t see me tomorrow?”

    Me: “No. I will be under anesthesia at seven am.”

    Patient: “Whatever.”

    The Height Of Unreason, Part 2

    | UK | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I am sitting in front of my computer trying to get on with work whilst my colleague is dealing with a patient. Another patient approaches the desk.)

    Me: “Hi there! How can I help today?”

    Patient: “You know, you really should grow taller. I could hardly see you over the desk.”

    (I go on to sign the patient in, and continue with my work. 10 minutes later, the patient comes back to the desk.)

    Patient: “You know, you’re still no taller; you really need to grow.”

    (I take the patient’s money, and she leaves.)

    Me: *to my colleague* “Did I just get told off for not growing any taller in the space of 10 minutes?”

    Colleague: “Erm, yes, I think you did.”

    Related:
    The Height of Unreason

    Some Customers Are Like Pulling Teeth

    | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (My boss has informed me that his best friend has unexpectedly died, and that he will need to cancel his appointments for the next two days. I’m currently on the phone to a patient who is notorious for being difficult.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [me] calling on behalf of [dentist]. I’m calling to inform you that due to unfortunate circumstances, [dentist] will have to cancel your appointment for Friday. I do apologize for the inconvenience, but would you like to take the time to reschedule?”

    Patient: “Seriously? This is unacceptable. I’ve already cleared my schedule just so that I can be there. What is so d*** important that he can just cancel my appointment?”

    Me: “Well, sir, [dentist] will be taking time off to attend a funeral out of state. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience. I do have an opening two weeks from today. Would that work?”

    Patient: “No, no, I’ve already agreed to meet with my clients all that week. See, my time is actually worth something; I can’t just cancel on my client’s last minute like [dentist]. Honestly, how does he expect to stay in business if he cancels on his patients like this?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be sure to tell [dentist] that the next time one of his life-long friends unexpectedly dies, that he should be more considerate of his patients.”

    Patient: “See that you do!”

    A Horse Can Lead Itself To Water

    | East Coast, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Top

    (My father is a dentist, and he is known among his dentist friends for having insane patients. This one really takes the cake, though.)

    Dental Office: “Good morning, this is Dr. [name]’s office. How may I help
    you?”

    Patient: “Yes, it’s [name]. I’d like to cancel my appointment for today.”

    Dental Office: “I’m sorry to hear that. May I ask why you’re canceling?”

    Patient: “I have this awful toothache!”

    Loosely Based On A True Story

    | Madison, WI, USA |

    Patient: “I think there’s something wrong with my tooth.”

    Me: “Can you describe the problem?”

    Patient: “Well, I think it’s loose.”

    (The patient suddenly spits his tooth onto the counter in front of me.)

    Me: “Yes…yes, I think you’re right.”

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