October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Psychic Psycho(Deli)c

| Loxahatchee, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hey there, what can I get for you?”

Customer: I”’d like half a pound of [brand that we carry] ham, and a quarter of a pound of [brand we do NOT carry] Swiss cheese.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but we don’t carry the brand of cheese you were looking for. Can I get you something else?”

Customer: “What do you mean you don’t carry it? I just bought it here last week!”

Me: “But we don’t carry it ma’am. We do have about five other Swiss cheeses to choose from.”

Customer: “Are you stupid? I’m looking right at the cheese I want!”

(I walk around the counter to see her pointing at the regular brand of cheese that we’ve always carried, not the brand she was asking for.

Me: “Oh, you asked for a different brand. I’m sorry about that, I’ll just go ahead and cut it.”

Customer: “No , this is what I meant I wanted. You should have known!”

Me: “I should have known what you really wanted when you said you wanted something else?”

Customer: “Of course! Isn’t that part of your job?”

To Keel A Chicken Bird

| USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like a piece of white meat.”

Me: “Would you like a rib or a keel?”

Customer: “What’s a keel?”

Me: “The center cut of the best, the middle bone is the sternum.”

Customer: “What, no that’s dark meat. The sternum is in the back of the animal.”

Me: “In chickens, they have an elongated sternum for their wing muscles.”

Customer: “I know every bone in the human body! The sternum is in the back!”

Hamming It Up

| Liberty, MO, USA | Top

Customer: “I’m not sure what to get. Do you have any suggestions?”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am! The oven roasted turkey is very popular, and the black pepper chicken is quite good.”

Customer: “What about this ham, have you tried it?”

Me: “I haven’t, no, but would you like a sample?”

Customer: “Why haven’t you tried it? Is it gross?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I haven’t tried it because it’s not kosher.”

Customer: “You work here, you should have tried everything!”

Me: “Sorry ma’am. Would you like a sample?”

Customer: “No! I want you to try it first!”

Me: “I’m not going to eat the ham.”

Customer: “Well that’s not very Christian of you, is it?”

Please Let These Questions Be Rhetorical, Part 2

| Minnesota | Uncategorized

Customer: “If I order a meat and cheese tray, do I have to get meat and cheese?”

Me: “Well, we have other trays, like vegetable and fried appetizer trays.”

Customer: “No, I want a meat and cheese tray. Do I have to get meat and cheese?”

Me: *confused* “… You want just meat or just cheese? Is that what you want?”

Customer: “NO! I want a meat and cheese tray and I want to know if I have to get meat and cheese!”

The Danger With Rhetorical Questions
Please Let These Questions Be Rhetorical

America’s Debt Crisis Explained, Part 2

| Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Um, this sign out here says $5.98 for a pound of turkey.”

Me: “Well, sir, if you look at your sticker, you’ll see that it is actually $3.98 a pound this week.”

Customer: “But, it says that it’s $5.98 a pound. You need to fix this, and you need to fix the price on my turkey.”

Me: “Sir, the turkey is on sale this week. You got it for $3.98 a pound, instead of $5.98.”

Customer: “Well, this is just ridiculous. You guys need to get your act straight, and you need to fix my sticker!”

Me: “You’re getting it for cheaper.”

Customer: *light bulb goes on* “Ohhhhhhh!”

Related: America’s Debt Crisis, Explained

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