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    The Infomercials Must Love You

    | Bay Area, CA, USA |

    (A customer comes up to the register with her sandwich purchase, which had sun-dried tomatoes on it.)

    Customer: “Do you make the sun-dried tomatoes here?”

    Me, jokingly: “Yes, we have several lawn chairs in back. We cut the tomatoes into little strips and leave them out there for a week or two. ”

    Customer: “Really?!”

    Me: “No, I was just kidding. We get them from a distributor. ”

    Customer: “Well, that’s not nice of you at all! When I was growing up I was always taught to believe things I was told by salespeople!”

    One Track Rind

    | Ottawa, Canada |

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like 20 slices.”

    Me: “Would you like that thinly or regularly sliced, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes, 20 slices.”

    Me: “Okay, and how would you like your 20 slices sliced, ma’am?”

    Customer: “20 slices.”

    Me: “Ma’am, would you like those slices THIN or REGULAR?”

    Customer: “Yes, 20 slices.”

    Me: “Alright, regular it is.”

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    Singleminded

    , | Watertown, NY, USA |

    Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”

    Customer: “Yeah I’d like a pound of cajun chicken.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir but we don’t carry cajun chicken, would you like some buffalo chicken in substitute?”

    Customer: “Which cajun chicken do you have?”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir but we don’t serve cajun chicken.”

    (My night manager is standing next to me. This guy goes on three more times, calm as can be, demanding cajun chicken.)

    Manager: “Sir…we don’t…would you like the santa fe chicken?”

    Customer: “I’d like the cajun chicken, where is your cajun chicken?”

    Me: *palmface*

    Manager: *slices santa fe chicken and wishes him a nice day*

    Kids, This Is Why You Stay In School

    , | Michigan, USA |

    Customer: “I’d like 5 pork chops, wrapped in twos.”

    Me: “Do you mean two packages?”

    Customer: “No, I want 5 pork chops, wrapped in twos.”

    Me: *blank stare*

    Customer: *heavy sigh* “5 chops, wrapped 2, 2 and 1. See, wrapped in twos.”


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