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    Hamming It Up

    | Liberty, MO, USA | Top

    Customer: “I’m not sure what to get. Do you have any suggestions?”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am! The oven roasted turkey is very popular, and the black pepper chicken is quite good.”

    Customer: “What about this ham, have you tried it?”

    Me: “I haven’t, no, but would you like a sample?”

    Customer: “Why haven’t you tried it? Is it gross?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I haven’t tried it because it’s not kosher.”

    Customer: “You work here, you should have tried everything!”

    Me: “Sorry ma’am. Would you like a sample?”

    Customer: “No! I want you to try it first!”

    Me: “I’m not going to eat the ham.”

    Customer: “Well that’s not very Christian of you, is it?”

    Please Let These Questions Be Rhetorical, Part 2

    | Minnesota |

    Customer: “If I order a meat and cheese tray, do I have to get meat and cheese?”

    Me: “Well, we have other trays, like vegetable and fried appetizer trays.”

    Customer: “No, I want a meat and cheese tray. Do I have to get meat and cheese?”

    Me: *confused* “… You want just meat or just cheese? Is that what you want?”

    Customer: “NO! I want a meat and cheese tray and I want to know if I have to get meat and cheese!”

    Related:
    The Danger With Rhetorical Questions
    Please Let These Questions Be Rhetorical

    America’s Debt Crisis Explained, Part 2

    | Illinois, USA |

    Customer: “Um, this sign out here says $5.98 for a pound of turkey.”

    Me: “Well, sir, if you look at your sticker, you’ll see that it is actually $3.98 a pound this week.”

    Customer: “But, it says that it’s $5.98 a pound. You need to fix this, and you need to fix the price on my turkey.”

    Me: “Sir, the turkey is on sale this week. You got it for $3.98 a pound, instead of $5.98.”

    Customer: “Well, this is just ridiculous. You guys need to get your act straight, and you need to fix my sticker!”

    Me: “You’re getting it for cheaper.”

    Customer: *light bulb goes on* “Ohhhhhhh!”

    Related: America’s Debt Crisis, Explained

    Well, That Narrows It Down

    | St. Louis, MO, USA |

    (The guy asks for a couple of beef brisket sandwiches, but has not specified the type of bread.)

    Me: “Sir, what type of bread would you like with your sandwiches?”

    Customer: “Uhhh…”

    Me: “We have wheat, rye, white, sourdough, 9 grain…”

    Customer: “Do you have that one, you know, the square kind?”

    Finger Lickin’ Good Parenting

    , | Windsor, CA, USA |

    (A man walks up to our hot case with his wife and two little girls.)

    Me: “Hi! How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi – we wanted to get some chicken strips.”

    (As I am taking his order, I notice his daughters licking the hot case glass.)

    Me: “Excuse me sir, but your daughters are licking the glass.”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Well…aside from the fact that the glass is hot, we cleaned it this morning with a chemical cleaner to wash off a layer of grease build-up.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “The chemical we used is a known carcinogen. I might suggest that you stop your daughters from ingesting it.”

    Customer: “Look, lady. You’ve obviously never been a parent. When you have kids, you’ll learn that it’s MUCH easier to just let your kids do whatever they want.”


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