Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,893 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Jingling, It Would Seem, Is Not The Key

    | QC, Canada |

    (I’m working in the cheese section of the deli, with my back turned to the meat slicer. Suddenly, I hear jingling. I check the floor to see if I dropped something, then continue working.)

    *jingling resumes*

    (I turn around and notice a customer at the meat slicer counter, jingling his keys at me. He then starts making noises one would use to call a pet.)

    Me: “Sir, we have bell.”

    Customer: *looks at bell*

    Customer: *pauses*

    Customer: *jingles keys*

    Magic Marker

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Excuse me, I want a piece of this cheese but the only one you have expires tomorrow.”

    Me: “Sorry, it looks like we’re sold out of that kind. Our truck comes in tomorrow though.”

    Customer: *holding out the piece of cheese* “Well just put more days on it then!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Just put more days on this piece!”

    Me: “You want me to print a new label with a different expiration date?”

    Customer: “Yeah!”

    Me: “Ma’am, no matter what the label says, the cheese is going to expire tomorrow.”

    Customer: “That’s just stupid!”

    Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 3

    | Knoxville, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    Customer: *places foil wrapped ham on counter* “I ordered a spiral sliced ham and you gave me a turkey!”

    Me: “Okay, let me just see the turkey.” *I open the foil and see that it is definitely a ham* “Ma’am, this is a ham.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. That is a turkey! I think I know what ham looks like.”

    Me: “Can you see the bone and the pinkish color? The turkey is boneless and white.”

    Customer: “I know what a ham looks like and that is a turkey!”

    Me: “I assure you it’s a ham. Would you like to sample it?”

    (She samples the ham and looks flustered.)

    Customer: “Oh just give me whatever the h*** that thing is!”

    Related:
    Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 2
    Not To La-Boar The Point

    Deli-cate Situation

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    Me: “Hello, this is–”

    Caller: “Baby, what are you doing? Want to come over later?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: *laughs* “You heard me, baby.”

    Me: “Sir, I think you may have the wrong number. This is a deli.”

    Caller: “Woah, are you serious?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Caller: “I’m so sorry!”

    Me: “It’s okay.”

    Caller: “So…do you want to come over?

    Kosher Klash

    | North Miami, FL, USA |

    Customer: “Could I have a hot dog?”

    Me: “Sure, would you like any toppings?”

    Customer: “Cheese, please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a Kosher deli and as per our religious belief, we cannot serve cheese with certain kinds of meat.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not Kosher, so I want cheese on my hot dog.”

    Me: “Well, even if I was permitted to serve that, which I’m not, we do not have any cheese which would be suitable for melting onto the hot dog.”

    Customer: “Well fine, then I’ll take my business elsewhere! I’m not going to stand here and be discriminated against! You Kosher people should just go back to…Kosheria or wherever it is you come from!”


    Page 5/9First...34567...Last