(Note: I have light blue hair with dark blue tips.)

Customer: *staring at me*

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Am I still high, or is your hair really like that?”

(I’m working in the cheese section of the deli, with my back turned to the meat slicer. Suddenly, I hear jingling. I check the floor to see if I dropped something, then continue working.)

*jingling resumes*

(I turn around and notice a customer at the meat slicer counter, jingling his keys at me. He then starts making noises one would use to call a pet.)

Me: “Sir, we have bell.”

Customer: *looks at bell*

Customer: *pauses*

Customer: *jingles keys*

Customer: “Excuse me, I want a piece of this cheese but the only one you have expires tomorrow.”

Me: “Sorry, it looks like we’re sold out of that kind. Our truck comes in tomorrow though.”

Customer: *holding out the piece of cheese* “Well just put more days on it then!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Just put more days on this piece!”

Me: “You want me to print a new label with a different expiration date?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

Me: “Ma’am, no matter what the label says, the cheese is going to expire tomorrow.”

Customer: “That’s just stupid!”

Customer: *places foil wrapped ham on counter* “I ordered a spiral sliced ham and you gave me a turkey!”

Me: “Okay, let me just see the turkey.” *I open the foil and see that it is definitely a ham* “Ma’am, this is a ham.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. That is a turkey! I think I know what ham looks like.”

Me: “Can you see the bone and the pinkish color? The turkey is boneless and white.”

Customer: “I know what a ham looks like and that is a turkey!”

Me: “I assure you it’s a ham. Would you like to sample it?”

(She samples the ham and looks flustered.)

Customer: “Oh just give me whatever the h*** that thing is!”

Related:
Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 2
Not To La-Boar The Point

Me: “Hello, this is–”

Caller: “Baby, what are you doing? Want to come over later?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: *laughs* “You heard me, baby.”

Me: “Sir, I think you may have the wrong number. This is a deli.”

Caller: “Woah, are you serious?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Caller: “I’m so sorry!”

Me: “It’s okay.”

Caller: “So…do you want to come over?