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    Getting Sour Over The Sauerkraut

    , | GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Our spicy mustard is clearly labeled spicy mustard, and I generally clarify, when someone asks for deli mustard, that they want the spicy and not something else. No one has EVER had a problem with this. Our reuben sandwiches – which are half size, even for a “whole” – are also premade except for a little cup of sauerkraut and thousand island, which is also premade.)

    Customer: “I want two reubens.”

    Me: *looking for the kits underneath the sub station*

    Customer: “Oh, and I want one half turkey.”

    Me: “We can’t split meats, and the reubens aren’t very big to start with.”

    (I put one on top of the station.)

    Customer: “That’s not what I want! I want it on the foot long roll!”

    Me: “Sure, we can do that.”

    (I verify with the manager that we’d charge as a special order, instead of the reuben. It actually ends up cheaper.)

    Customer: “Actually, I want one of them turkey.”

    (I slice the meats, get her bread, and start with mayo or mustard as the usual, which is not standard on a reuben.)

    Customer: “Mayo on the roast beef, mustard on the turkey.”

    Me: *reaching for the yellow mustard, about to squeeze it on* “I’m sorry, did you want a roast beef instead?”

    Customer: “Deli mustard! No, I want corn beef!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. Spicy mustard? And we have corned beef here. I thought you said roast beef.”

    Customer: “Well, everywhere else calls it deli mustard.”

    Me: “Sure miss, I understand. Our label just says spicy mustard, see? I just want to make sure I get the right thing on your sandwich. Sauerkraut and thousand island?”

    Customer: “Yes, a lot of sauerkraut and a little dressing. On the reuben, not the turkey.”

    (Unwilling to make another comment that might upset her, I use the sauerkraut dressing kits on the reuben, and go to toast both sandwiches.)

    Customer: “You didn’t put the sauerkraut on the turkey!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I thought you said you didn’t want any on the turkey?” *I get the kits and put it on the turkey as well*

    Customer: “We don’t seem to be communicating very well. You got very upset that I called the deli mustard ‘deli mustard’ and insisted I call it spicy mustard and even shoved it in my face! And you didn’t hear me say about the sauerkraut!”

    (Note at this time, she’s changed her mind half a dozen times on bread, cheese, meats, mayo/ mustard, and now the sauerkraut but she seems completely unaware that she keep changing her mind, and clearly believes everything is my fault for not knowing what she meant when she says something different.)

    Me: “My deepest apologies, ma’am. I’m sorry I’m just a bit confused. You changed your mind a few times so I want to make sure I get your order right.” *I get the sandwiches out and take them to the veggie station* “What would you like?”

    (At this point, we go through a dozen veggies, where I keep having to clarify both sandwiches, or which sandwich, and she’ll tell me to put something on that I’ve already put on, almost like she can’t see it at all, even though she is staring intently at it.)

    Customer: *at the end, I’m about to wrap it up* “You didn’t put thousand island on it!”

    Customer #2: “Hey, is there someone else that can help me! I’ve been waiting here forever!”

    Me: *to the first customer* “Yes, I did, ma’am, it was mixed in with the sauerkraut kits I put on earlier.” *to Customer #2* “Miss, we all have customers right now but we will be with you as soon as we can.”

    Customer: *mumbles* “Well, I didn’t want the dressing.”

    Customer #2: *glares*

    Me: “The sauerkraut kits were premade and out of my control. That’s what comes on a reuben sandwich, and you said you wanted dressing earlier and just asked me why I didn’t put it on.”

    (I wrapped up the totally disgusting looking reuben and turkey/sauerkraut with loads of veggies sandwiches  before she can mutter another word, and I hit the button for the more expensive brand and hand them off. She glared at me, opened her mouth and started complaining that they weren’t labeled reubens (which at that point, they weren’t). I heard her yelling about it to the air as I helped Customer #2, who as it turned out just wanted something for the self-serve hot case, but apparently didn’t notice the lack of glass front. I went around to the back and promptly burst into tears at getting yelled at over spicy mustard.)

    Talking Turkey About The Chickens

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Does your chicken and turkey come from the same animal?”

    Cheerily Getting Her Way

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (A man comes shopping with his adorable five year old daughter, and this happens as I’m serving him. Note: For those who don’t know, “cheerios” is a common name for cocktail frankfurts, which kids love.)

    Customer: “I’ll have 250g of that ham, please.”

    (The whole time I’m weighing and wrapping, his daughter is trying to get his attention.)

    Daughter: “Daaad. Dad. Cheerios, dad. Daaaaad…”

    Me: *hands over item* “Anything else?”

    Daughter: “Cheerios?”

    Customer: *smiling but still ignoring her* “Also a half kilo of chicken thighs.”

    Daughter: *hands on hips, looking at her father, but it was clear that she wanted me to hear her words* “Daddy, did you say CHEERIOS?”

    Me: *as I weigh and wrap* “She has the most adorable little attitude. Anything else?”

    Customer: “And a half kilo of cheerios… I’m going to have to watch out for her when she’s older, she’s too cute to say no to!”

    Me: “I think she knows it, too!”

    (The girl took the cheerios from me with a smug grin.)

    Hey, [His Name]

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Funny Names

    (At my deli we have a worker named Naim. We pronounce it exactly the same as the word ‘name.’)

    Customer: “How long till the hot chickens come out?”

    Coworker #1: “I’m not sure. Hey, Naim, do you know?”

    Coworker #2: “Half an hour, I think—”

    Customer: “That’s INCREDIBLY rude! Are you just too lazy to learn his name?”

    Coworker #2: “But… that is my name.”

    (He shows the customer his name tag, and she immediately brightens and apologises.)

    Coworker #1: *starts laughing* “If I call anyone Nametag then I’ll be in trouble.” *turns to me* “Right, Nametag?”

    (I can’t help but giggle, and the customer just rolls her eyes and walks away.)

    Taking The Ham-Fisted Approach

    , | Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I work in a supermarket deli, and whilst we’ve never had any real problem customers, we do get plenty who come across as a little dim. One of my coworkers is getting sick of it.)

    Coworker: “I don’t get it. How many people can there possibly be who can’t just READ the labels?”

    (At this point, a customer walks up.)

    Customer: “I want that ham.”

    Coworker: “Sorry, which one?”

    Customer: *points* “That ham.”

    Coworker: “I can’t see where you’re pointing.”

    Customer: *points again* “That ham.”

    Coworker: “I can’t see where you’re pointing. Which ham are you pointing to?”

    Customer: *rolls eyes* “That ham.”

    (My coworker indicates to the top of the case, which is metal, she starts talking very slowly.)

    Coworker: “See this? This is metal. I can’t see through metal! You’re going to have to READ the label.”

    Customer: *points frantically* “Right there! That ham!”

    (At this point, my coworker gives up, grabs a random ham, weighs it up and hands it to the customer, who snatches it and walks away. My coworker turns to me, wide-eyed.)

    Coworker: “I’ll be surprised if I don’t get a complaint for that…”

    Me: *shakes head* “You’re crazy.”

    (After that outburst she was in a much better mood. She never did get a complaint but she scared herself into being a little more patient after that.)

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