Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Go Easy On The Brain
    (1,926 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Gives New Meaning To ‘Can I Take Your Order’

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am in line at a deli. You place your order at the front counter, they make it, call out your name, and you pick it up at the back counter. It’s lunch time, so the line’s out the door.)

    Employee: “Susan!”

    (A male customer in a business suit walks up to the counter.)

    Customer: “What’s the order?”

    Employee: “Chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

    Employee: “Jerry!”

    Customer: “What’s that order?”

    Employee: “Do you not remember what name your order was under?”

    Customer: “Nah, I just don’t feel like waiting in line, so I figured I’d just wait until a ham and cheese came up, and grab it.”

    The Front End Is Affronted

    , | Saratoga, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a grocery store in the back in the deli. We have telephones in each department to call other departments and customers and for them to call us. In the summer the deli stays open longer for the tourists than the rest of year. It is now fall so we are closing earlier. We are in the middle of cleaning the department. The phone rings and my coworker answers:)

    Coworker: “Hello, deli department.”

    Coworker: *pause before he answers* “We closed at eight.”

    Coworker: *another pause, then:* “No, we currently close at eight.”

    (He hangs up and then several minutes later it rings again. He picks up again.)

    Coworker: “Hello, deli department.” *pause* “No, we do close at eight. We are not open to ten. We are open to eight.”

    (He hangs up and turns to me:)

    Coworker: “It was the same person and I am going to lose it if they call again!”

    (The phone rings a third time and this time I pick it up.)

    Me: “Hello, deli department. [My Name] speaking.”

    Customer: “The other guy told me you close at eight. I know you close at ten.”

    Me: “We used to close at ten. We are currently closing at eight. We were open later for summer but we are now closing at eight.”

    Customer: “You should be open until ten!” *hangs up*

    (The worst part was the customer was an employee from the front of the store!)

    Giving You No Middle-Ground

    | WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like that ham, please.”

    (The customer makes a vague gesture toward several trays of ham.)

    Me: *pointing to the ham closest to her hand wave* “This one?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: *pointing to another ham* “Was it this one?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Can you tell me what ham it says on the tag, ma’am?”

    Customer: *very rudely* “It’s the one in the middle!”

    (I look at the six trays of ham. There is no middle. This exchange goes repeats until I eventually point to the ham she wants.)

    Customer: “You should probably be more attentive, miss. I need some cheese now.”

    Me: “Of course. What kind would you like?”

    (The customer waves her hand toward the case containing over twenty kinds of cheeses.)

    Customer: “Give me two packages of that.”

    Some Customers Are Thicker Than Others

    , | Wichita, KS, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

    (It is my third shift at my first job. I have been mostly getting complicated/difficult orders, and I’ve had no real training; they threw me into the chaos and expected me to figure it out as I went. So far I had been managing, but only barely. An elderly customer  approaches the counter.)

    Me: *smiling brightly* “Hi there, ma’am. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’d like a half pound of [specific cheese] sliced as thick as your slicer will go.”

    Me: “That’s half a pound of [specific cheese] on the thickest setting, right? Coming right up!”

    (I am incredibly relieved as I get the cheese she wanted and get it on the slicer. This is the easiest order I’ve had all day and I can’t see how it could possibly go wrong. I bag the cheese and hand it over the counter to her.)

    Customer: “No, this is wrong.” *hands it back*

    Me: “I’m sorry. What’s wrong with it?”

    Customer: “That’s not how thick I wanted it. That’s not thick enough!”

    Me: *bewildered* “I’m sorry, ma’am. You asked for the thickest setting on the slicer, and that’s as thick as it will cut things.”

    Customer: “No, it isn’t! I get it cut thicker all the time! It should be one block. ONE. BLOCK.”

    Me: “Uh, I’m terribly sorry about that. I’ll fix this.”

    (I go get one of the knives and proceed to cut about half a pound off the block of cheese and bag that for her.)

    Me: “Here you are. I’m really sorry about—”

    Customer: “NO! NO! YOU HAVE TO CUT IT ON THE SLICER!” *throws the block back over the counter*

    Me: “I…I…Ma’am, I’m really sorry, but the slicer won’t—”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me! Don’t you lie to me! I want my cheese cut that thick on the SLICER!”

    (I begin looking around frantically for a coworker, but my shift supervisor, who had been there only moments ago, has conveniently disappeared, and my only other coworker is dealing with a long line of customers at the hot bar.)

    Coworker: *calling across the deli to me* “[My Name], go cut it on the ‘special slicer’ in the back. I guess [Shift Supervisor] forgot to show it to you. It’s by the prep table back there.”

    (I’m confused but take the cheese back. The only thing by the prep table are the sinks, but then I see clean knives on it and realize that I just need to cut the block with a knife where the customer can’t see me doing it, so I hurriedly do so and rush back to the front.)

    Me: *handing the new block over* “I’m really sorry about that, ma’am. I just started and no one told me about that slicer.”

    Customer: *snatching the cheese* “Hmph. Well, you should have known. Next time don’t be so stupid.” *storms off*

    (This coworker saved me on several other occasions when customers were being exceedingly difficult, though the ‘special slicer’ remains the most amusing to me.)

    A Close Shave With Stupidity

    | USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I would like four half pound packages of bologna. I want three regular, and one THICK. I would also like a half pound of turkey and a fourth of a pound of roast beef SHAVED.”

    Me: *repeats order*

    Customer: “Thi-CK.”

    Me: “Yes. thick.”

    Customer: “Very well, then. I’m going to go shop around and come back.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I cut the order and the customer comes back.)

    Me: “Your order is all set, ma’am.”

    Customer: *examines it suspiciously* “This doesn’t look shaved.”

    Me: “Would you like me to open the deli bag so you can take a look at it?”

    Customer: *threatening* “I just may.”

    (Pause.)

    Me: “Would you like me to open the deli bag, ma’am?”

    (There was another pause before the customer walked away with her deli order clutched tight. Customers often assumed cutting meat shaved is an exponential force multiplier leading to grand heaps of deli meat despite having only ‘cleverly’ ordered an infinitesimal amount of actual meat.)

    Page 1/1012345...Last