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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Talking Turkey About The Chickens

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Does your chicken and turkey come from the same animal?”

    Cheerily Getting Her Way

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (A man comes shopping with his adorable five year old daughter, and this happens as I’m serving him. Note: For those who don’t know, “cheerios” is a common name for cocktail frankfurts, which kids love.)

    Customer: “I’ll have 250g of that ham, please.”

    (The whole time I’m weighing and wrapping, his daughter is trying to get his attention.)

    Daughter: “Daaad. Dad. Cheerios, dad. Daaaaad…”

    Me: *hands over item* “Anything else?”

    Daughter: “Cheerios?”

    Customer: *smiling but still ignoring her* “Also a half kilo of chicken thighs.”

    Daughter: *hands on hips, looking at her father, but it was clear that she wanted me to hear her words* “Daddy, did you say CHEERIOS?”

    Me: *as I weigh and wrap* “She has the most adorable little attitude. Anything else?”

    Customer: “And a half kilo of cheerios… I’m going to have to watch out for her when she’s older, she’s too cute to say no to!”

    Me: “I think she knows it, too!”

    (The girl took the cheerios from me with a smug grin.)

    Hey, [His Name]

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Funny Names

    (At my deli we have a worker named Naim. We pronounce it exactly the same as the word ‘name.’)

    Customer: “How long till the hot chickens come out?”

    Coworker #1: “I’m not sure. Hey, Naim, do you know?”

    Coworker #2: “Half an hour, I think—”

    Customer: “That’s INCREDIBLY rude! Are you just too lazy to learn his name?”

    Coworker #2: “But… that is my name.”

    (He shows the customer his name tag, and she immediately brightens and apologises.)

    Coworker #1: *starts laughing* “If I call anyone Nametag then I’ll be in trouble.” *turns to me* “Right, Nametag?”

    (I can’t help but giggle, and the customer just rolls her eyes and walks away.)

    Taking The Ham-Fisted Approach

    , | Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I work in a supermarket deli, and whilst we’ve never had any real problem customers, we do get plenty who come across as a little dim. One of my coworkers is getting sick of it.)

    Coworker: “I don’t get it. How many people can there possibly be who can’t just READ the labels?”

    (At this point, a customer walks up.)

    Customer: “I want that ham.”

    Coworker: “Sorry, which one?”

    Customer: *points* “That ham.”

    Coworker: “I can’t see where you’re pointing.”

    Customer: *points again* “That ham.”

    Coworker: “I can’t see where you’re pointing. Which ham are you pointing to?”

    Customer: *rolls eyes* “That ham.”

    (My coworker indicates to the top of the case, which is metal, she starts talking very slowly.)

    Coworker: “See this? This is metal. I can’t see through metal! You’re going to have to READ the label.”

    Customer: *points frantically* “Right there! That ham!”

    (At this point, my coworker gives up, grabs a random ham, weighs it up and hands it to the customer, who snatches it and walks away. My coworker turns to me, wide-eyed.)

    Coworker: “I’ll be surprised if I don’t get a complaint for that…”

    Me: *shakes head* “You’re crazy.”

    (After that outburst she was in a much better mood. She never did get a complaint but she scared herself into being a little more patient after that.)

    Genetically Modified Turkey

    | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Geeks Rule

    Customer: “Hi, yes, could I please have a pound of mystique turkey please?”

    Me: *not quite catching what they said* “I’m sorry, did you say mesquite turkey?”

    Customer: “Yes, mystique turkey!”

    Me: “Actually, it’s mesquite smoked turkey, Mystique is a character in X-Men.”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah, just get me some mystique turkey, please.”

    Me: “Mystique turkey coming right up! And I’ll change it blue for you, too!”

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