Marri(age) Dispute

| OR, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I am a secretary at a big summer camp. Due to the extended needs of our small children, we only take kids through age 12. I answer a call.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Camp]; how may I help you?”

Mother: “I’d like to register my son for the finger-painting class.”

Me: “That’s excellent. May I just ask your son’s age?”

Mother: “Certainly, he’s 17.”

Me: “…I’m sorry, but I don’t think we can take your son.”

Mother: “Why?!”

Me: “Because we only take children up to age 12, and anyhow, this class is for our five-year-old age group. If you’d like, I can refer you to [teen camp]; they’re better suited to teens.”

Mother: “No! You’re going to take my son! He wants this class!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but that rule is set in stone. We can’t bend it. Like I said, I can help you—”

Mother: “NO! NO! NO! You sign him up right now or I’ll have you fired!” *to son* “Here, Little Johnny! Tell this b**** to put you in the class!”

Little Johnny: “Yeah, I know the class is for five-year olds. My mom just doesn’t want me to go see my dad. Sorry about that. She’s an idiot. Bye.”

Mother: *in background* “LITTLE JOHNNY! DON’T TELL HER THAT!” *click*

Daddy Meets Miss Demeanor

| Virginia Beach, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(I am temporarily relieving a coworker in the toddler room of our daycare so she can go to the restroom. A father arrives to pick up his child, who is familiar with me as the toddler room is next to the one I work in.)

Father: *on cellphone, very loudly* “No, I know, the delivery should have come in by now.”

Me: “Sir, here’s [child’s name’s] report and his coat.”

(He waves at me to be quiet. I keep trying to get his attention as I need his signature on some documents, but he waves me off even more with a huge frown. I give up and start putting the child’s coat on as the father taps his foot loudly.)

Child: “DADDY! Miss is talking!”

(The father finally gets off the phone long enough to sign the papers I need him to, although he does not hang up the call and speak to me. As they are leaving, the child turns round.)

Child: “Bye, miss!” *to his father* “Dada mean!”

Love Is Not Easily Provoked

| Westchester, NY, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

(I’m gay. My boyfriend has come in to pick me up after work.)

My Boyfriend: “Hey baby, ready to go?”

Mother: “How dare you flaunt that in front of my child! Who do you think you are? How dare you!”

Her Daughter: “But mommy! They’re in love!”

We All Half Our Favorites

| Ohio, USA | Family & Kids

(My friend and I both volunteer at a daycare for school credit. Although we try to act like we don’t while we’re on the clock, we both do have our favorite students.)

My Friend: “So, who are your favorites?”

Me: “[Little Girl] and [Little Boy].”

My Friend: “I’ve met [Little Girl]. She’s a good kid.”

Me: “Yeah, she’s a sweetie. It took awhile for me and [Little Boy] to warm up to one another, though.”

My Friend: “Oh, yeah?”

Me: *laughs* “On my first day, he drew a picture and gave it to me.”

My Friend: “Aw, that’s so sweet!”

Me: “It was of him karate-chopping me in half.”

My Friend: “…”

Me: “Sometimes, I don’t know if I want to hug that kid or smack him.”

(This was almost two years ago. The picture hangs on my bedroom wall to this day.)

He’s A Hair Too Sensitive

| USA | Family & Kids, Top

(I am picking up my 4-year-old cousin from daycare. I see a man dragging his daughter behind him; he walks straight to an employee.)

Father: “I demand to know who was with my daughter earlier!”

Employee: “Sir, what is the problem?”

Daughter: “Daddy, nothing was wrong. She just didn’t know.”

Father: “No! That lady was rude.”

Employee: “Sir? What lady?”

Father: “My daughter drew a picture of her family, wrote ‘dad’ above a long haired figure and ‘mom’ above a short haired figure. And that rude lady said she must have it backwards.”

Employee: “Oh, that. It was just a plain misunderstanding. Pamela saw it and went, ‘Did you write mom and dad on the wrong people?’ Your daughter explained that you did have long hair and mom had short hair. And she was like, ‘Oh,’ but she wasn’t in any way rude.”

Father: “That’s IT! Your employee assumed that was an error. What is the matter with long haired men and short haired women?”

Employee: “Sir, nothing is wrong. It was simply a misunderstanding and Pamela meant no harm by it. I can ask her to come out here right now.”

Father: “Forget it! We’re leaving and not ever coming back. Let’s go!”

Daughter: “Daddy, you’re being rude!” *to employee* “Sorry!”

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