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    Requires Adult Supervision

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a daycare which caters to infants through to 12 years of age. A middle-aged man once approaches me.)

    Customer: “Hi.”

    Me: “Hello. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I want to be cared for.”

    Me: “How old are you?”

    Customer: “46.”

    Me: “This is a daycare that only caters to young children.”

    Customer: “Oh… do you know where I can find a daycare that caters to adults?”

    Me: “Yes I do. The nearest hospital is right down the road.”

    Customer: “Thanks! I can’t wait to play with the toys!”

    Marri(age) Dispute

    | OR, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am a secretary at a big summer camp. Due to the extended needs of our small children, we only take kids through age 12. I answer a call.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Camp]; how may I help you?”

    Mother: “I’d like to register my son for the finger-painting class.”

    Me: “That’s excellent. May I just ask your son’s age?”

    Mother: “Certainly, he’s 17.”

    Me: “…I’m sorry, but I don’t think we can take your son.”

    Mother: “Why?!”

    Me: “Because we only take children up to age 12, and anyhow, this class is for our five-year-old age group. If you’d like, I can refer you to [teen camp]; they’re better suited to teens.”

    Mother: “No! You’re going to take my son! He wants this class!”

    Me: “I’m really sorry, but that rule is set in stone. We can’t bend it. Like I said, I can help you—”

    Mother: “NO! NO! NO! You sign him up right now or I’ll have you fired!” *to son* “Here, Little Johnny! Tell this b**** to put you in the class!”

    Little Johnny: “Yeah, I know the class is for five-year olds. My mom just doesn’t want me to go see my dad. Sorry about that. She’s an idiot. Bye.”

    Mother: *in background* “LITTLE JOHNNY! DON’T TELL HER THAT!” *click*

    Daddy Meets Miss Demeanor

    | Virginia Beach, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (I am temporarily relieving a coworker in the toddler room of our daycare so she can go to the restroom. A father arrives to pick up his child, who is familiar with me as the toddler room is next to the one I work in.)

    Father: *on cellphone, very loudly* “No, I know, the delivery should have come in by now.”

    Me: “Sir, here’s [child's name's] report and his coat.”

    (He waves at me to be quiet. I keep trying to get his attention as I need his signature on some documents, but he waves me off even more with a huge frown. I give up and start putting the child’s coat on as the father taps his foot loudly.)

    Child: “DADDY! Miss is talking!”

    (The father finally gets off the phone long enough to sign the papers I need him to, although he does not hang up the call and speak to me. As they are leaving, the child turns round.)

    Child: “Bye, miss!” *to his father* “Dada mean!”

    Love Is Not Easily Provoked

    | Westchester, NY, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m gay. My boyfriend has come in to pick me up after work.)

    My Boyfriend: “Hey baby, ready to go?”

    Mother: “How dare you flaunt that in front of my child! Who do you think you are? How dare you!”

    Her Daughter: “But mommy! They’re in love!”

    We All Half Our Favorites

    | Ohio, USA | Family & Kids

    (My friend and I both volunteer at a daycare for school credit. Although we try to act like we don’t while we’re on the clock, we both do have our favorite students.)

    My Friend: “So, who are your favorites?”

    Me: “[Little Girl] and [Little Boy].”

    My Friend: “I’ve met [Little Girl]. She’s a good kid.”

    Me: “Yeah, she’s a sweetie. It took awhile for me and [Little Boy] to warm up to one another, though.”

    My Friend: “Oh, yeah?”

    Me: *laughs* “On my first day, he drew a picture and gave it to me.”

    My Friend: “Aw, that’s so sweet!”

    Me: “It was of him karate-chopping me in half.”

    My Friend: “…”

    Me: “Sometimes, I don’t know if I want to hug that kid or smack him.”

    (This was almost two years ago. The picture hangs on my bedroom wall to this day.)


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