I work for a manufacturer in Germany. Recently, we started selling refurbished items on an online marketplace that exclusively sells refurbished items. The description of the equipment always states the condition they are in. Most of the items we sell here are returns from our regular online shop.

If a customer makes a complaint at the marketplace, we can answer the complaint, but it can also be answered by the marketplace customer support.

Yesterday, we got a customer complaint that the item was used because it had a few scratches, which had been clearly stated in the description. It’s quite audacious but unfortunately nothing uncommon.

What really got me was what happened next.

Customer support for the marketplace decided to step in. They told the customer that they were sorry that they had received a used item when they ordered a new one!

I’m wondering if they are aware of what company they are working for? It’s even literally in their name!

I’m working at the customer service desk at a store. I have given my two weeks’ notice, and it’s my last week working here. A customer comes up with a bag with the item inside and a receipt.

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to return this; it’s broken. It keeps making a ticking noise.”

I look into the bag, then at the receipt, and then at the customer. I look back at the item and then at the customer again.

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a clock.”

Customer: “Yeah, but it ticks too loud.”

I just threw it into the damaged returns pile and did the return. By that point, I didn’t care.

Once upon a time, we had a customer who was on our “cannot speak to customer service over the phone” list because he was verbally abusive. I had the pleasure of getting a call from him when my career started and getting to hang up on him after reminding him that we wouldn’t talk to him.

Fast forward to nearly ten years later. He got taken off the list for promising to behave, and I got to handle another call from him.

Customer: “Back in my day, you used to be able to say whatever you needed to in order to get what you wanted.”

I still regret not pointing out to him that saying what he wanted is what got him in a lot of trouble in the first place, and clearly, he never got what he wanted.

I’m glad management listened the first time and put him on the naughty list, but since the only thing that’s changed about his behavior is not making personal insults, I can’t help but feel that he hasn’t learned the full lesson.

My husband and I were born on the exact same day: day, month, and year. We are not related and met by chance because of a birthday feature of a large messenger board we both frequented. When we married, we kept our own last names for various reasons.

My husband gets a letter from his personal insurance, asking if he would like to make an account. Since this is the so-manieth letter, he caves and creates an account. 

The letter arrived at our current house. The address in his file was his previous address; we bought our current house about ten years ago. So, he changes that and all is well. 

Then, he gets a confirmation email.

Email: “Thank you, [My Name]. Your information is now updated.”

My name is nowhere in his account, so my husband decides to call customer service. 

Customer Service: “Can I please have your date of birth?”

Husband: “It’s [date].”

Customer Service: “And your name is…?”

Husband: “It’s [Husband].”

Customer Service: “That’s not the name I have on file here.”

Husband: “Is it [My Name]?”

Customer Service: “Yes. May I talk to the account holder, please?”

Husband: “But I am the account holder.”

Customer Service: “But your name is not on the account.”

Husband: “Please check [Client Information Page].”

Customer Service: “Ah, I see your name is listed there… but not the other name.”

Husband: “Yes, that’s why I am calling. I would like to know why you guys emailed me, using my wife’s name, if she’s not on the policy.”

Customer Service: “And what is your wife’s date of birth?”

Husband: “[Date], and yes, we have the exact same birth date. “

Customer Service: “You do? That must be amazing with birthday parties… Ah, I see. She has an insurance policy [a very different type from my husband’s], as well. So that email you received is about her insurance.”

Husband: “On my email address?”

Customer Service: “No, it was send to her.”

Husband: “It was sent to [his email address].”

Customer Service: “No, that’s not the one I have on file here.”

Husband: “Because that is linked to [his insurance]. What I want to know is why I received a confirmation email about my insurance, on my email address, with my wife’s name listed behind ‘Dear Ms. [My Last Name]’.”

Customer Service: “That is not the name on the insurance.”

Husband: “I am well aware.”

Customer Service: “Are you sure you didn’t read her email by accident?”

Husband: “I have no access to her email address.”

He does, but that’s on a different machine, so he can’t be mistaken.

Customer Service: “Are you sure you read the name right? Are you sure it was her name?”

Husband: *Pauses* “I’d like to think I know my wife’s name, yes…”

The end result was that it was sent to the service desk. Now, two months later, it’s still unresolved.

A couple of tourists are asking me about day trips outside of London. I am telling them about a bus tour.

Me: “…and then you can visit this town on the way back that has some amazing Roman ruins that—”

Tourist #1: “Wait, wait, wait. This bus goes to Rome?!”

Me: “Haha, no. It definitely stays within England! But it does visit some ruins that were originally built by the Romans.”

Tourist #1: “Why would parts of Rome be in England?”

Me: “Because England used to be part of the Roman Empire.”

Tourist #1: “I don’t understand.”

The other tourist speaks up at this point.

Tourist #2: “Is it because all roads lead to Rome?”

Tourist #1: “That must be it! It all makes sense now! Thank you.”

They left, happily. It did NOT make sense to me.