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  • It’s So Easy…Yet So Difficult

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Uncategorized

    (I worked for the online customer service branch of a major department store, answering questions via “live help”. The store had many older customers who would often have trouble shopping online. The following is an online conversation I had.)

    Customer: “Your site won’t let me get through!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Could you tell me what part of the site you were having an issue with?”

    Customer: “It keeps telling me that I have the wrong password. I have my password!”

    (I look up her password and use it on the site to make sure it

    Me: “I have tested your password and it appears to be working. Would you like me to send you an e-mail with a copy of your password?”

    Customer: “NO! I have my password! It says it right here on the screen, and I typed it just like it says.”

    Me: *slightly confused as to why the customer’s password would be displayed* “What password do you see on the screen?”

    Customer: “cAsE sEnsitIve! I typed it the exact way that it says here! ‘Your password is cAsE sEnsitIve’!”

    A Lack Of Planning On Your Part…

    | Florida, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: *on his cell phone, handing me a list* “I need all of these items.”

    Me: “Ok, let me just get someone to help you.”

    Customer: “Why can’t you just do it?”

    Me: “I can’t leave the register.”

    Customer: *shouting now* “I’M A VERY BUSY MAN!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry sir, but I cannot leave the register. Let me just call someone for you.”


    Me: *on phone* “Could I have someone come up and help a customer please?”

    Customer: *screaming over my phone call* “JUST GIVE ME MY DAMN ITEMS! I NEED THEM!”

    Me: “Someone is on their way to help you, sir.”

    Customer: “I needed these items two hours ago; I couldn’t get here until now. My time is being wasted; MY TIME IS PRECIOUS!”

    Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, scooter. Learn to manage your time better.”

    I’ll Take Some Chocolate And My Baby’s Daddy, Please…

    , | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Uncategorized

    (I happened to be on call-quality monitoring when one of my coworkers got this call.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling **** Gifts, my name is ****. How can I help you?”

    Caller: *with a thick accent* “Do you have anyone there that speaks Spanish?”

    Coworker: “No, I’m afraid we do not. Is there anything I can do for you, ma’am?”

    Caller: “Where is my check?”

    Coworker: “…your check?”

    Caller: “Yes, where is my check?”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I don’t think I follow–”

    Caller: “Where is my child support check?”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, we sell candies and cookies. We don’t have your check.”

    Caller: “WHY NOT?!”

    Coworker: “…Because we’re a gift-ordering service. We don’t handle child support checks.”

    Caller: “Well, can you give me the number to the child support check people?”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I don’t know what that number is. We aren’t connected with them in any way.”

    Caller: “WHY NOT?!”

    Coworker: “…”

    The Marketing Reality Distortion Field

    | Canada | Uncategorized

    Me: “…so if you cancel your others company’s long distance plan which costs you $10/month, and take ours that’s $8/month, you’ll save $2/month.”

    Customer: “Look I called up to save money, and you’re gonna increase my bill?”

    Me: “Well, yes, but overall you’ll save…”

    Customer: “Look I’ve studied marketing, and you’re not doing this right.”

    Me: “Look…I study math.”

    It’s All About The Babies

    | Ohio, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “…ma’am, I’m sorry, but unless you had insurance during that time, you will have to pay for the insurance we purchased for you.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why you people are demanding we PAY for this s***! And the electric company wants money, too! How am I supposed to take care of my babies when all of you are demanding money for stuff?! WHAT ABOUT THE BABIES?”

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