October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Not A Productive Conversation

| KS, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(We are a company that deals with international calls on a daily basis, though I personally don’t that often. I receive a call that goes directly to my phone, not through the main system.)

Customer: *unintelligible Spanish*

Me: “Hello? No hablo mucho español” *I don’t speak much Spanish*

Customer: “Hello?” *unintelligible Spanglish*

Me: “This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *very thick accent* You speak English, yes?”

Me: “Yes, I do.”

Customer: “Then let’s speak English.”

Me: “Sounds good! What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I had some questions.”

Me: “Okay? Is this pertaining to [Product]?”

Customer: “[Product]? Do you have a website?”

Me: “Yeah! It’s [website]!”

Customer: “Okay. okay. And you sell what again?”

Me: [Product]. Did you need help with something?”

Customer: “You have a nice voice.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Would you give me your phone number?”

Me: *creeped out* “I’m sorry. I can’t give that information to you.”

Customer: “You don’t want to talk on the phone to someone in Spain?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “No?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “No?”

Me: “No. No es bueno para mi.” *It’s not good for me*

Customer: “Oh! You speak Spanish?”

Me: “Un pequeño” *A little*

Customer: “How wonderful! We could talk in Spanish and English over the phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Was there something you wanted?”

Customer: “We could be private phone buddies if you’d like.”

Me: “No, I don’t think so.”

Customer: “You have such a lovely voice. And you seem very nice and beautiful.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Please do not call back unless you have questions about [Product]. Have a good day.” *hangs up*

Speaking The Same Amount Of The Same Language

| ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Language & Words

Customer: “Bonjour! Comment ca va?”

Me: “Ca va bien, et toi?”

Customer: “Ca va bien!”

Me: “That’s it. That’s all I got. That’s all I know how to say.”

Customer: “Me, too!”

Me: “Well, we really sounded like we knew what we were talking about, didn’t we?!”

Customer: “We sure did!”

This Time With Meaning

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I have on a pair of frog earrings. The face and arms of the frog are in the front, and the legs dangle from the back of the ear.)

Customer: “Oh, those earrings are so cute!”

Me: “Thanks, my boyfriend got them for me.”

Customer: “Oh you must love frogs!”

Me: “No… they’re just fun.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, then, he must love frogs!”

Me: “No, he just thought they were fun.”

Customer: “Well, are you French?”

Me: “Um, well, yeah…”

Customer: “Oh, okay. So that’s why he got them!”

The Great Intelligence Disconnect

| Austin, TX, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at a gaming company and provide tech support to all of our customers that call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I hope you can help me. I have been having connection issues all week with [Game]. I play for about 30 minutes and am disconnected. Can you fix it?”

Me: “I can try. First let’s open up the website to pull up some info that may help us resolve this.”

(About 30 seconds pass.)

Me: “Are you there, sir?”

Customer: “Sorry, the internet has been having issues all week. It is a bit slow right now…”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23

| The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Money

Customer: “I have a direct debit, but now you’re charging me extra costs. Why? You can just take the money from my account!”

Me: “Well we tried twice, but the bank refused the payment. That’s why we sent you two reminders before adding the costs. Did you receive the letters?”

Customer: “Probably, but I never read your mail because I have a direct debit.”

Me: “But how are we supposed to let you know something is wrong if you don’t open the mail? We’re not sending you spam; we’re sending you a legitimate message.”

Customer: “Yeah, but as I said I don’t read them. So, now I feel I don’t have to pay the costs, because I didn’t know the payment failed.”

Me: “But we told you in the letters that the payment failed. Twice.”

Customer: “I DON’T READ THEM. You should have let me know!”

Me: “We did! How else were you expecting to receive our notices?”

Customer: “I don’t know! I just think the costs shouldn’t be charged.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the costs are correct. You just told me that you received our letters, but you don’t read them. We let you know that the bill wasn’t paid and stated in our letters when the payment was due to prevent the costs. I am fully willing to discuss payment, but you will have to pay the costs.”

Customer: “I am not happy about this. I was expecting more from you.”

Me: “More? What were you expecting besides two letters?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Just… more…”

(The customer did end up paying the costs. I’m still wondering to this day what kind of ‘more’ he expected from us.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

Page 2/612345...Last