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  • Making A Mute Point
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    Baaaad Hearing And Maaaad Rearing

    | Texas, USA |

    (A customer and her daughter walk up to me while I’m putting up items on a shelf. Her daughter looks about 7 years old. I am well known for doing very well with young children around her age.)

    Customer: “Could you help me find something my child needs for a project she’s doing?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    (I turn toward the customer’s daughter, who is holding a piece of her project.)

    Me: “Whatcha’ got there, kiddo?”

    Customer: “Don’t call my child a goat!”

    Me: “Beg your pardon?”

    Customer: “You heard me! You called my daughter a kid, which is a goat! My child is not an animal!” *storms out with daughter in tow*

    DIY: Dental It Yourself

    , | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a very fine grit sandpaper.”

    Me: “Here you go.”

    Customer: “Thanks! This will be perfect for my teeth!”

    For A Few Dollars Less

    | Loveland, OH, USA |

    (We have closed. I’m letting two employees out when a man runs up to the doors.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re closed.”

    Customer: “I’ll only be a minute.”

    (He comes towards me, trying to squeeze between me and the door.)

    Me: “Sir, the store has been closed for 10 minutes. Our registers have been shut down.”

    Customer: “I’ll only be a minute; I just need one thing. I’ll be out before you know it.”

    Me: “Sir, even if I could let you in the store, our registers have been shut down so no one would be able to check you out.”

    Customer: “I was only going to buy a 99 cent item. I swear I’ll only be a minute. I’ll never come back if you don’t let me in.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. There’s nothing I can do.”

    Customer: “It’s just a 99 cent item!”

    Me: “I do apologise, but we open tomorrow at 9.”

    Customer: “You just lost a very large sum of money! I’m never coming back!”

    That’s A Very Good Point

    | London, UK |

    Customer #1: “What size needles do I need to use?”

    Customer #2: “Well, it depends on the tension of your knitting.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, I’m quite loose.”

    Customer #2: *laughs* “I wouldn’t say that in this town. You might get in trouble.”

    Ah, Mothers, Part 2

    , | Fort Worth, TX, USA |

    (I overhear the following conversation as I’m stocking crafts; it’s a forty-something mother and her teenage daughter.)

    Mother: “… okay, we need beads.”

    Daughter: “Just make it fast.”

    Mother: “Don’t take that attitude with me.”

    Daughter: “I don’t know why I go anywhere with you!”

    Mother: “Oh, look! Gift boxes! With Rudolph on them!”

    Daughter: “Mom, be quiet. Just shut up… please.”

    Mother: “Look! Rudolph! You see Rudolph?”

    Daughter: “Mom, shut up! Can we leave?”

    Mother: “It’s just so godd**n a** f**king cute!”

    Daughter: *rolls her eyes and stomps off*

    Related:
    Ah, Mothers
    Mom In A Thong: Wrong
    A Mother’s Love


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