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    Needs More Grey Matter

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (The craft store is in a part of town near a university. At the moment, friendship style bracelets made of embroidery floss are popular. A young customer in his first year of college comes in.)

    Me: “Hi there! Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for some string to make those bracelets with.”

    Me: “Sure thing! Most people are using this embroidery floss to make them. It’s only 65 cents a piece!”

    Customer: “Okay, great. I need some grey.”

    Me: “Well, most of the neutrals are in this drawer.”

    Customer: “These don’t have names. I need grey.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; this particular brand doesn’t print color names on the labels. It looks like there are five different greys in this drawer here.”

    (I pull out a grey and hand it to him.)

    Customer: “I can’t buy this. How am I supposed to know what color it is if it doesn’t say? Is this grey? It doesn’t say if it’s grey. I need grey.”

    (He leaves.)

    Me: *speechless*

    The Schadenfreude Sale

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Money

    (It is during the middle of a renovation at my work, but we have stayed open during the remodel. This makes for some bad organization and mistakes concerning where certain items go.)

    (My coworker rings up a seemingly nice woman for an obviously expensive looking item for scrap-booking.)

    Coworker: “You’re total is [amount].”

    Customer: “Um, that isn’t right. I got this from the $1 sale bin.”

    Coworker: “I am so sorry. See we are going through a renovation. This item must be put there by mistake.”

    Customer: “Well it was there, so I should get it for a dollar.”

    (My coworker gets our manager.)

    Manager: “Yes, I am sorry ma’am, but unfortunately, we cannot give you this expensive of an item for a dollar.”

    Customer: “BUT IT WAS IN THE SALE BIN!”

    Manager: “I realize that. But we are all human and mistakes happen. If you would like to purchase it for full price that would be fine.”

    (The customer makes a huge scene and yells obscenities at both the manager and co-worker. Oddly enough, she decides to buy the item anyway.)

    Coworker: *perfectly normal, non-emotional voice* “Okay, that’ll be [amount].”

    Customer: “WELL DON’T ACT SO HAPPY ABOUT IT! YOU FORCED ME TO BUY IT!” *leaves in a huff*

    Fuming Over The Gas, Part 2

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

    (We are located in a small strip mall. As I am checking out a customer, I see a police officer walk in and two fire trucks pull up. The officer comes up to me and ask if there is a manager around.)

    Me: *to my manager* “Um…. the police are here. They said they need to talk to a manager.”

    Manager: “I’ll be right there.”

    (When she comes to the front, we find out that the building next to us has a gas leak. We make an announcement to evacuate the store. Outside the store is myself, the front manager, night manager, and two framers.)

    Framer #1: “You know, I get the feeling a customer is going to ask what going on…” *motions to the fire trucks and the orange cones blocking the store’s entrance* “…and when we tell them, they will ask if we’re open.”

    Framer #2: “Don’t be ridiculous!”

    (Just then a female customer walks up to us.)

    Customer: “Oh my, what’s going on here?”

    Me: “A gas leak happened next door. It’s starting to leak into ours.”

    Customer: “Oh… so are you open?”

    Me: *stunned* “Um, no we aren’t. We had to evacuate.”

    (The customer huffs and grumbles about me being lazy. She then goes to the night manager, who tells her the same thing.)

    Customer: “But that’s next door’s problem! Why is it yours!?”

    Manager: “Because the gas is leaking into our store.”

    Customer: “But I need to get something! Can’t you let me in?”

    (This carries on, as both the front manager and the framers both explain to her why she cannot go in. The police officer walks over.)

    Officer: “Ma’am, we cannot let you or anyone in. If you will be patient, the fire department will see what the levels are, and then we could possibly let you in.”

    Customer: *huffs and storms off*

    Framer #1: “I was only kidding when I said that!”

    Framer #2: “You should know by now: when somebody becomes a customer, they lose all common sense.”

    Related:
    Fuming Over The Gas

    You’d Better Belieber It

    | Muncie, IN, USA |

    (I work as a picture framer in a well known craft store. Around my second week of work, a tall, tough-looking guy walks up to my counter and this occurs.)

    Tough Guy: “Hi, uh, do you sell poster frames?”

    Me: “Absolutely! What size do you need?”

    Tough Guy: “Poster size?”

    Me: “Well, we carry several poster frames, ranging from 16″x20″ to 24″x36″. Do you know approximately how big your poster is?”

    Tough Guy: “I dunno… Justin Bieber size?”

    Related:
    It’ll Go Away If You’re Belieber
    He Is, If You’re A Belieber

    No Servitude For Attitude

    | New York, USA |

    (I am working at the cutting table at a fabric store when a woman charges up to the table, bypassing others waiting in line.)

    Customer: “You need to cut this fabric for me right now!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there is a line and I am helping other customers.”

    Customer: “How dare you talk back to me! You are here to serve me. You work for me! You are my servant and you need to listen to what I say!”

    Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, I work for [craft store], not you. Now, please wait in line and I will help you when your turn comes.”

    (The woman proceeds to throw her fabric on my head and knock down three display bolts. My manager calls the police and she is escorted out of the store, still ranting.)

    Customer: *while being escorted out by the police* “You’re all my servants!”


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