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  • Not Really Framing A Good Argument

    | Mankato, MN USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in arts and craft store’s frame shop, which is located in a very small strip mall.)

    Customer: “I really need something framed today. It’s urgent.”

    Me: “Sure! We can do an express framing by picking out a ready-made frame on the floor and cutting a custom mat.”

    Customer: “But I really want that frame.”

    (He points to a corner sample on our wall display. We have over 400 samples.)

    Me: “Well, that is a custom frame molding and we can order that for you, but it will take two weeks to complete.”

    Customer: “No, I really need it today. That’s the one I want. Can you get it done by 6 pm?”

    (As he says this, he can see my entire work room over my shoulder, which is obviously too small to hold any lumber, much less enough for 400+ frames.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t make any of these frames in-house. If you really want that frame I will have to order it from our central warehouse, who will cut and join it before sending it to my shop. If you are in a hurry, there are two frames we sell on our sales floor that I think would be very similar to the custom frame sample you like. They would look great!”

    Customer: “But you’re a frame shop! Why don’t you make the frames here?”

    Me: “Sir, if you look behind me, you’ll see my entire frame shop. We don’t have the room to store all of the frame materials so we use a warehouse.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! You should make them here!”

    Me: “Sir, we offer over 400 different frames. If we kept enough lumber in stock to fulfill the frame-size request of each frame-type for each customer, we would need a building the size of [local national chain hardware store].”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    How To Re-Tire Bad Customers

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s Black Friday and I have a noon shift. I have been berated and belittled by most of the customers since most of the doorbusters have been sold out.)

    Rude Customer: “WHY even advertise this if you don’t keep it in stock!? That’s stupid! If you run out you shouldn’t advertise it!”

    (There are two younger customers behind them, a guy and a girl.)

    Girl: “You know… sometimes I just wanna make people suffer ya know? Like mentally. Like I wanna slash the tires of some real ignorant a** so they can’t go on and abuse another cashier.”

    Guy: “I have that hunting knife in my car still. Wanna do it once we’re out of here?”

    Girl: “We could. I have one target it picked out.”

    (The rude customer shuts up and pays quietly and quickly runs out the door. I eye up the couple not sure if I should report the threat or not. The girl grins at me.)

    Girl: “Got her to shut up.”

    Me: “Wait. You weren’t serious?”

    Girl: “Please. I could never do that.”

    Guy: “I could…”

    Arts And Crafts Is So Rock And (Toilet) Roll

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I run into a customer coming out of the store bathroom. She’s clutching two empty toilet paper rolls and looks angry. I’m expecting her to round on me about no toilet paper in the stalls.)

    Customer: “You work in a craft store. How can you let people just throw these away!?”

    (The customer puts them in her shopping basket and stalks off. It left me wondering what craft is so awesome that the finished product would negate the ick-factor of digging through a public toilet’s trash bags.)

    Spinning A Yarn About Being Sorry

    | Gaithersburg, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Money

    (A customer brings up a skein of yarn to the register. I see she is intending to use a coupon.)

    Me: “Ma’am, that coupon won’t work on the yarn because it is on clearance.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s not very fair. It’s only a few cents off from the normal price, anyway.”

    Me: “Actually, these are normally about $6, and it’s coming up for $2.64, so it’s cheaper than you would get using a coupon on a regular-priced one. Would you still like to buy it?”

    Customer: “It’s not fair! Why can’t I get my discount!? This is ridiculous!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, but we don’t give discounts on clearance items.”

    Customer: “Oh, I bet you are.”

    (I am becoming both annoyed and nervous that the customer is going to have a full-on meltdown over this. I attempt to sound deeply sorry.)

    Me: “I cannot express how bad I feel about this, ma’am. There’s really just not much I can do here.”

    (The customer suddenly starts laughing and smiling.)

    Customer: “Oh, I’m sure. I still don’t think it’s fair, but thank you for having some humor about it!”

    (The customer pays for her yarn and leaves. The next customer in my line has been watching the whole exchange and is just as surprised as me that things didn’t turn ugly.)

    Next Customer: “Is your boss around?”

    Me: “Actually, I’m the boss right now; I’m the only manager here tonight.”

    Next Customer: “Oh, well I would like to compliment the crap out of you! I was going to say something pretty soon if she kept on like that!”

    A Bad Frame Of Mind

    | IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in a frame shop for a large craft store chain. I take a phone call.)

    Caller: “Yes, do you have black frames?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: “How much are they?”

    Me: “Well, it depends on the size, style, etc.”

    Caller: “Okay, can you tell me what each of them costs?”

    Me: “Ma’am, there are at least 75 different black frames; you really are going to have to come in and look for yourself.”

    Caller: “Well, I’m not going to come in unless I have some idea how much they cost.”

    Me: “Anywhere between $1 and $70.”

    (The caller hangs up. Later that same day, the caller comes in. I recognize her voice.)

    Caller: “Excuse me; can you tell me where your frames are?”

    Me: “This whole section over here.”

    Customer: “I see you have this frame in a 16 x 20, but I need it in a 20 x 16.”

    (I take the frame from her and turn it on its side.)

    Customer: *huffs* “Well, they should put on the package that you can turn it either way!” *storms off*

    Coworker: “Dude, seriously?”

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