Can’t Find Your Cross To Bear

| TX, USA | Holidays, Religion

Customer: “Excuse me; can you help me find some cross stickers?”

Me: “Well, our stickers are over here… Let’s see what we have.”

(We look around. We can’t find any cross stickers.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am…”

Customer: “Isn’t it just a shame how Christians are persecuted in the country?”

Me: *not a Christian* “Uh… they’re kind of seasonal? We had lots around Christmas and Easter.”

Customer: “Well, I guess I’ll try again. But we really shouldn’t be persecuted like this, don’t you think?”

Me: “Uh… good luck finding your stickers.”

Your Explanation Is Not Very Helpful

| AL, USA | Bizarre

(I walk into a craft store and see an older lady with her arms full of stuff heading for the carts.)

Me: “Let me get one of those for you!” *pull one out for her*

Lady: “Thank you! Can you tell me if this is all the wrapping paper you have, over on that aisle?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know that. I’m just a customer.”

Lady: “…but you got me a cart. You don’t work here? Why did you help me?”

Me: “I saw you had your arms full and my parents raised me to be helpful. You have a great day, now!”

Lady: “…but you helped me… You don’t work here… Why did you help…”

Trying To Re-Coup

| Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I answer the phone while working the register during holiday rush.)

Customer: “Hey, I made a several hundred dollar purchase a few days ago during the big sale. And I got a 20% off everything coupon today. Can I bring the coupon in and get 20% off my original purchase?”

(Is this a test? A recorded call from one of my superiors, because this cannot be serious.)

Me: “I’m sorry. That coupon is intended for your next purchase, not one that was already completed!”

Customer: “But I spent so much money! Can’t I just return everything and then re-buy everything with the coupon?”

Me: “I’m sorry. That is incredibly unlikely and will not work. That coupon is intended for the next purchase.”

Customer: “But I spent so much money… You sure?”

Me: “I’m pretty gosh darn positive. Have a nice day, though!”

(The lines were already backed up and I could not imagine if she honestly tried to bring everything back in and argued for the coupon discount!)

Wise To The Pennywise

| Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money, Top

(I am a customer waiting in line. There is only one register open, and the woman before me with her five grown children only has five items. The cashier gives the woman her total.)

Customer: “That’s not right. You didn’t add the coupons.”

Cashier: “I did, ma’am. They were on [item #1] and [item #2]. The coupons do not apply to already discounted items.”

Customer: “But it should be less. You’re cheating me out of $1.20!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, your coupons did apply. You had two of them and they went to the two items not on sale. The other three items were on sale.”

Customer: “This isn’t fair! You see me with these kids?” *she gestures to her five grown children wandering around the aisle* “I have to feed them tonight! I need that money! You are cheating me!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I can go over the receipt with you to show you exactly how the register calculated your total. Or I can return the items if you need the money.”

Customer: “No! I know I am right!”

(This goes on for 15 minutes, with the line behind me building. A manager is called up to explain that there was no error, but the customer keeps insisting. The manager tries to get the cashier onto another register to help the line, but the customer is refusing to let anyone leave their spot.)

Customer: “You’re cheating me out of my money! I should call your head office. You are cheating a poor mother so she can’t feed her kids. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Me: *fed up* “Ma’am, if it’s that big of a deal, I’ll give you $1.20 to cover your purchase. In fact, we can start up a collection. Everyone! This poor woman is unable to pay for some of her order, and she needs every penny that she can to feed her kids. Let’s ignore the fact that all of them are holding iPhone 5s and the three young ladies have Coach and Gucci bags that are probably worth more than what any of us make in a month. This woman can’t afford to feed them, and is spending her money on general crafting supplies. Who would like to help me pay for the $1.20 that she can’t cover on her purchase?”

(The customer starts fuming and stomps off without her items; her wide eyed kids walking behind her in shock. I was called up to the register a moment later.)

Cashier: “Thank you…”

Me: “No need. I have dealt with b****es like that for years. I’ve always wanted to do that and not worry about getting fired!”

No Button To Get Out Of This One

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I’m in an arts and crafts store where they wear white polos and green aprons, wearing my light blue local theme park uniform. I’m approached by a foreign customer.)

Customer: *heavy Indian accent* “Can you show me where the buttons?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I don’t work—”

Customer: “BUTTONS. Can you show me where the buttons?!”

Me: “I could grab an employee.”

Customer: *stares at me expectantly*

Me: “Uhhm. Right this way.”

(I proceed to show him where I was pretty sure the buttons were. He thanks me and I walk off. Figure it was easier than the truth!)

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