(I work at a really nice Country Club on the golf course side of things. Since it is a nice club, it isn’t unusual to get fairly large tips every once in a while.)

Me: “Hey mister, could you break a hundred for me so we split tips tonight?”

Member: *clearly inebriated* “Sure, man, I can totally break that hundred for you!”

(I hand him the hundred dollar bill which he then proceeds to rip in half and then hand back to me.)

Member: “There! I broke it for you.” *walks off laughing with his friends*

Other Member: “Man, what an a**hole. Here’s another hundred for the ripped one. I appreciate y’all.”

(I took the ripped hundred to the bank and they replaced it. I tried to give the other hundred back, but the member refused and said we earned it!)

Me: “Thank you for calling *** Country Club, this is ***. How can I help you?”

Member: “Hi, I need to make a reservation for dinner tonight.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but due to it being Christmas Eve, the club is closing at 2 o’clock today.”

Member: “…”

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Member: “I have never heard of any business closing early on Christmas Eve. It’s not even a holiday, for God’s sake!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am… we did send out several emails containing our holiday hours.”

Member: “I don’t read your f***ing emails! Either way, it doesn’t matter.Wwe are coming for dinner tonight, so take the reservation for me.”

Me: “We aren’t open for dinner tonight, so I can’t take your reservation.”

Member: “Well, you better take the reservation, because all of my family is coming in from out of town and I told them that we would be eating at the club! We need a reservation for 15 people at 7 o’clock tonight.”

Me: “I think we must be misunderstanding each other. There won’t be anyone here at 7 o’clock.”

Member: “I pay my dues like everyone else, and I expect you to be open at 7 to serve us! Make the reservation!”

Me: “Okay…”

Member: “Do it now!”

Me: “…”

Member: “I pay my dues!”

Me: “Okay, I have to go now.”

Member: “And we want a private room!”

Me: “Good luck with that…”

(To this day, we wonder if they showed up for dinner.)