Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 4

| Sacramento, CA, USA |

(On our self serve copiers, the customer must press a button on the screen indicating whether or not they’re finished copying. If they press “YES” they receive a receipt to take to the cashier.)

Customer: “I’ve never used these before!”

Me: “Not to worry, it’s really easy.”

(I proceed to give her the run down, including telling her not to press the “YES” button until she’s done with all of her copying for this visit. The customer proceeds to make one copy and press “YES”.)

Customer: “What? I don’t want a receipt yet!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you just told it you were done making copies. Next time, press the ‘NO’ button if you still have more to make.”

(The customer proceeds to make another copy and presses “YES”.)

Customer: “Stupid machines!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you aren’t done, you should press ‘NO’.”

Customer: “I know! I know! I know! I know what I’m doing! I’ve just never used this machine before!”

(I finally gave up trying and went back to my work. She eventually came up to my register with over a dozen copy receipts, complaining how stupid the machines were.)

Related:
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 3
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition

Their Question Speaks Volumes

| Rockwall, TX, USA |

Me: “Welcome! How may I help you?”

Customer: “How much will I save if I ask really loudly to have this laminated?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “The sign in the window says you give ‘large volume discounts’.”

Off The Clock, Customer Block, Part 2

| Cleveland, Ohio, USA | Crazy Requests

Customer: "Are you guys open on Saturday?"

Me: "No ma’am, I’m sorry. We are open Monday through Friday 9am to 6pm."

Customer: "Well, could you get someone to come in? I’m in a hurry and this really can’t wait all weekend."

Me: "So you want us to come in on our day off so we can work on your order?"

Customer: "Well, when you say it like that, you make me sound like I’m being a jerk."

Related:
Off The Clock, Customer Block

Has More Than A Few Issues

| Chicago, IL, USA | Crazy Requests

(A customer walks in with 5 magazines under her arm.)

Customer: “Hi, how much does it cost to laminate one A4 page?”

Me: “That’ll be $0.10.”

Customer: “Great and um, about how many pages are in a magazine?”

Me: “I’d say about 100.”

Customer: “Great, so 100 multiplied by five is 500 hundred right?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “So 500 multiplied by $0.10 would be $50.00 right?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yeah so can you like, laminate each page in the magazine?”

Me: “Why would you want to do that?”

Customer: “So I can read them in the bath.”

Taxing Faxing, Part 5

| Fond du Lac, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

Customer: “Can you make a copy of my fax papers?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “Okay, now fax them.”

(I go over to the fax machine and send them; I come back with the papers.)

Customer: “I thought you were going to fax my papers?”

Me: “I just did.”

Customer: “Then why are the papers in your hands still?”

Me: “What are you talking about?”

Customer: “When you fax something, it sends the papers to them instantly doesn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, because it scans them and sends it.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought it sent the papers instantly to the number.”

Me: “Phone lines can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well I guess I didn’t need the copies then. Do I still have to pay for them if I give them back to you to get rid of?”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 4
Taxing Faxing, Part 3
Taxing Faxing, Part 2
Taxing Faxing

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