Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (3,162 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Fool Service

    | Ontario, Canada | Money

    Customer: “How much is it to blow this picture up to 10×12?”

    Me: “Well, it would have go to onto 11×17 paper, so there would be a $3 service charge, and then copies would be—”

    Customer: “I didn’t pay $3 last time!”

    Me: “Oh, so you left it with us for longer than an hour? Then it will be a $2 service charge—”

    Customer: “No! I didn’t pay $3 or $2 last time! They blew it up for me and it was only $1!”

    Me: “They did it for you for only $1? The only way you could have paid that price is if you did it in self-serve.”

    Customer: “Yes! We did it in self serve! There was no $3 fee!”

    Me: “Right, self-serve doesn’t have a fee, because you are doing it yourself.”

    Customer: “But I want YOU to do it for me.”

    Me: “Well, if you want me to do it for you, then I would have to do it in full-serve and charge you the $3.”

    Customer: “I didn’t pay no service charge last time!”

    Me: “Because you did it in self-serve.”

    Customer: “Ya! I want to do it there again!”

    Me: “Okay, I’m sorry. I thought you said that you wanted me to do it for you?”

    Customer: “Yes! Do it for me in self-serve!”

    Me: “Well, I can’t do it for you in self-serve. I can certainly show you how it works, but I can’t go out and just do it for you.”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Me: “Because it’s self-serve. I can definitely help, or answer questions, but if you don’t want to do it at all, I have to do it in full-serve.”

    Customer: “But I want you to do it in self-serve!”

    Copy That, Not, Part 2

    | Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (At our copy shop, we have prepaid cards to use in the self serve area. Sometimes, the cards don’t activate right after purchasing them. Any time this happens, simply inserting into the receipt printer will activate it. We’re not sure why, but it works.)

    Customer: “My card won’t work!”

    Me: “Oh, is it saying there’s no money on it?”

    Customer: “Ya! And I gave you $3! It ate my money!”

    Me: “No, it didn’t. Sometimes, the cards take a while to activate. All you have to do it is put it in the receipt printer, and then it will work. As soon as the card pops back out, it’ll be good to go.”

    (The customer storms off. I watch her insert her card into the printer, and then stare are it for almost a minute after it pops back out. She then huffs and makes her way back over to me.)

    Customer: “It’s still not working!”

    Me: “Yep, it should be fixed now.”

    Customer: “But it didn’t work!”

    Me: “You haven’t tried to copy with it yet, though. Put it in the copier, and it will work for you.”

    Customer: “Just put $3 on my card!”

    Me: “I did already. It wasn’t working before, but I assure you, it will work now.”

    Customer: “Look, I just want to make copies, and you’re making this difficult for me! I told you already the darn card isn’t working! I put it in the machine like you told me, and then it gave my card back!”

    Me: “Yep, so it should work now.”

    Customer: “But it didn’t print a receipt!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s okay, it will still work. The only reason it didn’t print a receipt is because you haven’t made copies on it yet. But it will work now.”

    Customer: “You’re not listening to me! It won’t work! I put it in that machine like you said and it’s still broken!”

    Me: “Have you tried putting it into a copier yet?”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “So, go try. It’ll work.”

    Customer: *huffs and walks off to put it into a copier*

    (It worked.)

    Related:
    Copy That, Not

    Outfoxed By The Xerox

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Hello, can you get someone to make copies for me?”

    Me: “I can make copies for you, ma’am! What would you like copied?”

    Customer: *stares at me for several seconds*

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: *keeps staring silently*

    Me: “What would you like copied, ma’am?”

    Customer: “OH! You want me to GIVE you the documents?!”

    Water You, Stupid, Part 10

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (Due to a broken water line in the apartments above, our copy shop has been flooded and needs to be closed. All power to the building is shut off and we are currently trying to clean up the mess. Despite this, a customer walks past the barricade and orange cones. I find her standing at one of the copy machines in ankle-deep water while wearing high heels.)

    Customer: “Why aren’t your machines on?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, the store is flooded.”

    Customer: “But your doors are unlocked! Everything should be on!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, we are currently in the process of removing everything that was damaged, so we need the doors unlocked to take stuff out.”

    Customer: “Well, this is terrible. I’m contacting your corporate office. If your doors are unlocked, everything should be working!” *storms out*

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 9
    Water You, Stupid, Part 8
    Water You, Stupid, Part 7
    Water You, Stupid, Part 6
    Water You, Stupid, Part 5
    Water You, Stupid, Part 4
    Water You, Stupid, Part 3
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid

    Adventures In The Third Dimension, Part 3

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “I want you to take these two pages, which are one-sided, and make me copies that come out two-sided. But print a test copy of it first so I can see it.”

    (I print the requested double-sided copy and hand it to the customer. He stares at it for several seconds in silence.)

    Customer: “Well, that’s great and all, but what about the other side?”

    Me: “Uh, turn the paper over?”

    Customer: “OH!”

    Related:
    Adventures In The Third Dimension, Part 2
    Adventures In The Third Dimension

    Page 3/612345...Last