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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Not Quite Marrying A Prints

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Top

    (In our copy center, we regularly help brides with their DIY invitation kits. A man comes up to the counter, roughly half an hour before the store closes for the night.)

    Customer: “I need these place cards printed, and I want to wait while you do it.”

    (My coworker and I review the order, and we realize that the entire job would take several hours to complete exactly to their specifications.)

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, sir, this order would take hours to complete. I can get started on it tonight, but we close in 30 minutes, and we’d have to continue working on it tomorrow morning.”

    Customer: “What!? But it’s for my wedding!”

    Coworker: “Well, when’s your wedding? I’m pretty sure we could work something out.”

    Customer: “You don’t understand! It’s tomorrow morning! I need these done now!”

    (My coworker and I, both women, stare at the man for several seconds in shock and then continue.)

    Coworker: “Okay, well in that case we have two options. We can do [option 1], which but won’t look as nice but will be done faster, or [option 2], which will look more formal, but will take a little longer. Worst case scenario, I’m pretty sure we can have this done in time.”

    (The customer is now irate as well as in a panic. The time my coworker had told him the order would be completed was only a couple of hours before his wedding. He starts to launch into a tirade about incompetent employees when my coworker interrupts.)

    Coworker: “Sir, if I was your soon-to-be-wife, and I found out that you had waited until just now to have this order printed out, I would be furious. We just gave you two options to get this stuff done so she never has to know you procrastinated so badly. You can choose one of them, or you can try finding someone else to print these for you; and good luck doing that at this time of night.”

    Me: “How long have you had to print these, anyway? Weeks? Months?”

    (The customer snapped his mouth shut, chose one of the options we’d outlined, and stormed out of the store. When he came back the next morning, he was visibly stressed but showered us with thanks for saving his hide on the order.)

    Cannot Make It Any Clearer

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

    Customer: “My son is doing a project and he needs something that looks like a window. Are laminate pouches see-through without being heated?”

    Me: “Not really. They are kind of frosty.”

    (I take one out to show her.)

    Customer: “Oh, shoot. It’s not clear enough.”

    Me: “Well, I can put it through the laminator for you. It doesn’t have to have anything in it in order to seal it.”

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah, once it goes through it will just look like a thin sheet of plastic and it will be completely see-through.”

    Customer: “Okay, how much would 5 11″x17″ sheets cost?”

    (I tell her the price.)

    Customer: “Wow! That’s really expensive for laminating sheets that don’t even have anything in them!”

    Me: “They are the same price whether you have something in them or not.”

    Customer: “Why?!”

    Me: “Because if you had something in it, you would be supplying it, not us. When you get something laminated, you are just paying for the pouch itself, not the stuff inside it.”

    Customer: “Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to pay that much. I mean, I’m not even putting anything in them.”

    Me: “But if you put something in them they won’t look like windows anymore.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I just don’t understand why it’s so much when you’re not even putting anything in the pouches.”

    Me: “Because you don’t pay for the stuff that goes in the pouches.”

    Customer: “Nope, I’ll think of something else. It’s too expensive for not putting anything in them!”

    Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Copyright

    | Copy ShopCanada | Criminal/Illegal

    Customer: “Do you copy DVDs?”

    Me: “Yes we do, as long as they don’t contain copyrighted material.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “We can copy your DVDs if they consist of content that you created.”

    Customer: “Well, it’s a season of a TV show.”

    Me: “That would be copyrighted.”

    Customer: “Oh, no it’s not.”

    Me: “Yes, TV shows are copyrighted.”

    Customer: “But it was recorded legally.”

    Me: “What do you mean it was recorded legally?”

    Customer: “My friend recorded it for me.”

    Me: “That would be illegal.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. He pays for his cable, and he copied a series for me, and I want another copy of it.”

    Me: “Yes, that’s illegal.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Because you have to pay for cable too if you want to watch it. And you can probably buy them on DVD at the store.”

    Customer: “Nope, not this show!”

    Me: “Well it’s still illegal. I won’t be able to copy them.”

    Customer: “Ugh!”

    Fool Service

    | Ontario, Canada | Money

    Customer: “How much is it to blow this picture up to 10×12?”

    Me: “Well, it would have go to onto 11×17 paper, so there would be a $3 service charge, and then copies would be—”

    Customer: “I didn’t pay $3 last time!”

    Me: “Oh, so you left it with us for longer than an hour? Then it will be a $2 service charge—”

    Customer: “No! I didn’t pay $3 or $2 last time! They blew it up for me and it was only $1!”

    Me: “They did it for you for only $1? The only way you could have paid that price is if you did it in self-serve.”

    Customer: “Yes! We did it in self serve! There was no $3 fee!”

    Me: “Right, self-serve doesn’t have a fee, because you are doing it yourself.”

    Customer: “But I want YOU to do it for me.”

    Me: “Well, if you want me to do it for you, then I would have to do it in full-serve and charge you the $3.”

    Customer: “I didn’t pay no service charge last time!”

    Me: “Because you did it in self-serve.”

    Customer: “Ya! I want to do it there again!”

    Me: “Okay, I’m sorry. I thought you said that you wanted me to do it for you?”

    Customer: “Yes! Do it for me in self-serve!”

    Me: “Well, I can’t do it for you in self-serve. I can certainly show you how it works, but I can’t go out and just do it for you.”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Me: “Because it’s self-serve. I can definitely help, or answer questions, but if you don’t want to do it at all, I have to do it in full-serve.”

    Customer: “But I want you to do it in self-serve!”

    Copy That, Not, Part 2

    | Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (At our copy shop, we have prepaid cards to use in the self serve area. Sometimes, the cards don’t activate right after purchasing them. Any time this happens, simply inserting into the receipt printer will activate it. We’re not sure why, but it works.)

    Customer: “My card won’t work!”

    Me: “Oh, is it saying there’s no money on it?”

    Customer: “Ya! And I gave you $3! It ate my money!”

    Me: “No, it didn’t. Sometimes, the cards take a while to activate. All you have to do it is put it in the receipt printer, and then it will work. As soon as the card pops back out, it’ll be good to go.”

    (The customer storms off. I watch her insert her card into the printer, and then stare are it for almost a minute after it pops back out. She then huffs and makes her way back over to me.)

    Customer: “It’s still not working!”

    Me: “Yep, it should be fixed now.”

    Customer: “But it didn’t work!”

    Me: “You haven’t tried to copy with it yet, though. Put it in the copier, and it will work for you.”

    Customer: “Just put $3 on my card!”

    Me: “I did already. It wasn’t working before, but I assure you, it will work now.”

    Customer: “Look, I just want to make copies, and you’re making this difficult for me! I told you already the darn card isn’t working! I put it in the machine like you told me, and then it gave my card back!”

    Me: “Yep, so it should work now.”

    Customer: “But it didn’t print a receipt!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s okay, it will still work. The only reason it didn’t print a receipt is because you haven’t made copies on it yet. But it will work now.”

    Customer: “You’re not listening to me! It won’t work! I put it in that machine like you said and it’s still broken!”

    Me: “Have you tried putting it into a copier yet?”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “So, go try. It’ll work.”

    Customer: *huffs and walks off to put it into a copier*

    (It worked.)

    Related:
    Copy That, Not


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