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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    This Customer Gets Her Own Dedicated Plaque

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “I’m picking up laminating.”

    Me: “Okay, what name is it under?”

    Customer: “[Customer Name].”

    (I look in the filing system and don’t see any order forms filed under her name.)

    Me: “Is there another name it might be under?”

    Customer: “[Customer Name].”

    Me: “So there aren’t any orders under either of those names. Is there a different name you might have given us when you dropped it off?”

    Customer: “No, you called me.”

    Me: “Right, but I don’t see it here, so I was just wondering if you gave us a different name.”

    Customer: *slowly and condescendingly* “[Customer Name].”

    (I ignore the obvious rude and ignorant tone, and proceed to look through ALL files, to see if it was filed wrong. I don’t see the order form anywhere.)

    Me: “And it was laminating?”

    Customer: “[Customer Name]!”

    Me: “I’m asking you what you had done. You had something laminated?”

    Customer: “YOU CALLED ME AND SAID IT WAS READY!”

    Me: “I understand that. But I don’t see anything here under that name, so I’m trying to narrow down why I don’t see it. Was it laminating?”

    Customer: “[Customer Name]!”

    (I then look in all the bins and read all the stickers on them to see if we lost the order form, but the order is still in a bin. Nothing.)

    Me: “Did someone else pick it up already, maybe?”

    Customer: “You called me today! I don’t understand why this is so hard! It’s just a picture!”

    Me: “A laminated picture?” *finally realizing she probably meant plaque mounting* “Was it plaqued?”

    Customer: “[Customer Name]!”

    Me: “I’m not asking for the name, I’m asking if you had it plaque mounted.”

    Customer: “[Customer Name]!”

    (I look in the area where we keep the plaque mounted pictures, and sure enough, her order is there.)

    Me: “It was plaque mounted, not laminated. That’s why I couldn’t find it. They’re in a different spot.”

    Customer: “You called me earlier today.”

    (I don’t even try anymore. I get her to sign that it was picked up, and say nothing else to her.)

    Email Fail, Part 5

    | Espoo, Finland | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in small photo lab/copy-and-print service. A middle-aged man approaches my counter:)

    Me: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need you to scan this so I can put it in the Internet.” *hands me a paper*

    (I was a bit confused and tried not to laugh. The customer had received an e-mail, printed it out, and now needed me to scan it so he could put it on the web!)

    Related:
    Email Fail, Part 4
    Email Fail, Part 3
    Email Fail, Part 2

    Suddenly Got Personal

    | OK, USA | Money, Technology

    (A customer calls our copy shop with an order for several large format color copies. The problem is that she absolutely refuses to set foot in the store to submit, pay for, or pick up the order, and she claims that our submission website is not working for her.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, do you have a [Store Name] credit card?”

    Customer: “Yes, I do.”

    Me: “Perfect! That’s the one type of card I am authorized to take over the phone, so we’ll just have you pay with that. I’ll set up your order from here with the files you emailed, and then give you a call when I’m ready to start the payment process.”

    Customer: “Sounds great!”

    (I spend two hours and miss my lunch setting up her order with our third-party vendor, which requires me to upload 24 images separately and keep their sizes consistent. Normally I wouldn’t go through the trouble, but the profit on this order was sizeable.)

    Me: “Ma’am? We’re ready to start the payment process, all right?”

    Customer: “All right, the card number is [number].”

    Me: “Okay, the machine is asking for a driver’s license number to verify your identity.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t want to do that. This is a corporate account and I don’t just want to give out my personal information.”

    Me: “…I, uh… I don’t really have any other option here, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, just cancel the whole order, then! Goodbye!” *click*

    Needs A Repeat Lesson

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (A customer asks for help in the self serve copy area, and as I’m trying to show him how to work the copier, he’s asking me questions.)

    Customer: “How long have you worked here for?”

    Me: *laughing* “Too long.”

    Customer: “How long’s that?”

    Me: “About four years.”

    Customer: “Why don’t you go to school?”

    Me: “I did go to school. It’s hard to find jobs in the career path you went to school for, especially in this area.”

    Customer: “Why don’t you go back to school?”

    Me: “I can’t afford it.”

    Customer: “Well, are you a manager or something here?”

    Me: “Nope, just full time.”

    (I leave as soon as I’m done helping him, eager to stop talking about how I still work in retail. About six months later, I recognize the same man in line at my counter. He waits while I book in copy orders and ring through customers with items. Finally when it’s his turn, he doesn’t even have items or something to copy.)

    Customer: “Hey, [My Name]! How’s it going?”

    Me: “Fine, you?”

    Customer: “Good! So you’re still here, eh? Have you been looking for other jobs?”

    Me: “Kind of… I’m usually always looking for something that’s closer to my schooling.”

    Customer: “Well, why don’t you get a job in [Nearby Large City]? There’s tons of jobs there!”

    Me: “Because I don’t want to live in the city, or commute every day for work.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s where the jobs are!”

    Me: “I see.”

    Customer: “Well, you should talk to a head-hunter! That’s their job, you know, finding other people jobs!”

    Me: “That’s okay.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “I’m fine. Thanks, though.”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    (After he leaves, my coworker comes up to me.)

    Coworker: “What was that?”

    Me: “A stranger who literally waited in line just to ask me why I’m still working here.”

    The Machines Are Already More Intelligent Than Us

    , | Paris, France | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (I work at a library’s copy store, a fairly large room within the main branch of the library. At the entrance of our store there are three huge copy-card dispensers – about the size of a cupboard – with a different slot for each way to pay: coins, banknotes, and credit cards. On every wall of our store, several A3-sized posters inform customers that they have buy cards to do their copies.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but I paid and I didn’t get my card.”

    Colleague: “Did you pay with credit card, bill, or coins?”

    Customer: “Bill.”

    (My colleague goes to the card dispenser with the customer.)

    Colleague: “I’m truly sorry, sir, but it seems I can’t find your bill.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s because I didn’t put it there.”

    (Then he pointed at the coin slot. And indeed, there was a tiny piece of paper sticking out of it: the corner of his banknote, folded in four…)

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