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    The Thickest Part Of The Line

    | Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I overhear some convention attendees when walking by a line.)

    Attendee #1: “Hey, look, a line for something.”

    Attendee #2: “What’s it for?”

    Attendee #1: “I dunno. Let’s get in line!”

    Zord Almighty

    | IL, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a big Sentai fan (aka Power Rangers in English). I overhear this conversation at an anime convention I’m attending. NOTE: I am female while the attendees that are talking are male; also I am not from the same state that it’s being held at. We’re at a vendor booth who’s selling old toys—Power Rangers being one of them.)

    Attendee #1: “Man, Power Rangers is classic!”

    Attendee #2: “Have you watched any of the Japanese versions?”

    Attendee #1: “F*** no! The Japanese ones are stupid as f***! America started the whole trend in the first place!”

    Attendee #2: “Um… no they didn’t. ”

    Attendee #1: “Whatever, f***ing otaku.”

    Me: “He’s right.”

    Attendee #1: “Like you would know!”

    Me: “I would. Mighty Morphin’ is technically Zyuranger in Japan. The 16th series in the Super Sentai line.”

    Attendee #1: “Oh yeah? Then where are the other 15 then, Miss Thang?!”

    Me: “Never translated. But you can find most of them online.”

    Attendee #1: “Bulls***! You’re a girl and know nothing about Power Rangers!”

    Attendee #2: “More than you.” *to me* “Have you seen it in Japanese?”

    Me: “Not all of it… but I can see why it almost killed the franchise in Japan though.”

    Attendee #1: “HA! See! Japan sucks! They failed at translating it, so it sucked!”

    Me: “You do realize you’re at an ANIME CONVENTION? You know, Japanese animation and other media.”

    Attendee #1: “Some weebos came up with the term anime! It’s just awesome American cartoons that the f***ing Japanese stole from us!”

    Attendee #2: “Okay, dude… you’re crazy.”

    Me: “Yeah, you’re a moron.”

    (Attendee #2 and I walk away and end up talking a lot about the Sentai series and wound up being pen pals. As we are heading to our rooms, we’re surprised to see Attendee #1 getting escorted out of the convention by staff and security yelling obscene things. I walk up to a staff member of the con.)

    Me: “Um… can I ask what that was about?”

    Staff: “He cursed and threw something at one of our guests.”

    Attendee #2: “Who?”

    Staff: “Robert Axelrod.”

    Me: “The voice of Lord Zedd?!”

    Staff: “Yeah, he mentioned how Zedd was an original character for the American version, and it set him off!”

    Oh, Dear God, It’s Growing Bigger

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Geeks Rule, Rude & Risque

    (I am selling t-shirts at Dragon*Con, a very large media/SF convention in Atlanta. One of our most popular shirts is one with, “This is my Boomstick” emblazoned on the front, with an outline of Ash from the Evil Dead movies. As we are very busy, I’m in the habit of glancing at the shirt and asking the customer for the size to make checkout faster.)

    Me: “…and what size is your boomstick, sir?”

    Customer #1: “Large.”

    Me: “I can’t believe I said that. Sorry.”

    Customer #1: “Um, okay.”

    Customer #2: *hands me money* “Just to let you know, MY boomstick is extra-large!”