Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (3,008 thumbs up)
  • An Idiot Born Every Minute

    | East Stroudsburg, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (We are located in a college town, so naturally, we sell a variety of things including condoms. Normally people just ask where they are then buy them. This started out like any other time.)

    Customer: “Yo, you all sell condoms?”

    Me: “Yes, right over there.” *point to where they are*

    Customer: “What?! You only sell 3-packs? You don’t sell single condoms? See, this is why people be having babies!”

    (I stood there stunned as he kicked our door open and left.)

    Wants The Number Of The Devil

    | Robeline, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Love/Romance, Religion

    Customer: *leering* “I need $15 worth of [Cell Company] minutes and your phone number, sweetness.”

    Me: *pretending I didn’t hear the last part* “$15 of [Cell Company] minutes. Okay.”

    Customer: *smirking* “And your phone number.”

    Me: *curtly* “Not happening. I have a boyfriend.” *prints the slip* “It’s $15.50.”

    Customer: *pays in exact change* “So, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”

    Me: *deadpan* “What are you talking about? I clawed my way up from Hell.”

    (He quickly left and hasn’t asked for my number since.)

    Having A Multiple Light-Bulb Moment

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bigotry, Technology, Transportation

    (I am the manager at a very busy convenience store that also sells fuel. One particularly quiet afternoon, a customer pulls up and starts to remove every single light bulb from his car. I watch for a little while then go outside to see if I can be of any help.)

    Me: “G’day. A problem with your lights?”

    Customer: “Yeah, they all stopped working so I need new ones. You sell bulbs don’t you?”

    Me: “Yes, we do, but instead of removing them all may I make a suggestion?”

    Customer: “You? I doubt it, love. Girls don’t know anything about cars.”

    Me: *not the first time I have heard this* “No problem, I’ll be inside when you need the globes.”

    (The customer removes every light globe, indicator globe and even all the internal globes, puts them in a bag and comes inside to the counter.)

    Customer: “I’ll have one of each of these.”

    Me: “No problem.”

    (I proceed to get all of the globes he needed, including the not so cheap headlight globes. He pays for them, totaling approximately $45, and then goes back to his car and spends the next hour or so putting them in, with me watching from inside with a huge smile on my face. After he installs them all, he turns on the car, tries the lights, and none of them work. By this stage I have let it go far enough, so I grab a $0.45 blade fuse, go to his car, pop the bonnet, change the fuse, got him to try his lights, and wouldn’t you know it? They all now worked!)

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “Have a great day!*

    (Then I skipped back inside!)

    Needs To Pour Oil Over Troubled Water

    | LA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

    Customer: “I need to know where the motor oil is.”

    (I tell her, but she comes back to the counter with a bottle of transmission fluid.)

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not oil. It’s transmission fluid.”

    Customer: “What do you know about it? You’re a girl. Just ring me up.”

    (I ring her up. She pays and goes outside, pops the hood of her car, and gets on the phone. Two minutes later, she’s back.)

    Customer: “I needed oil. You sold me the wrong thing. I need to exchange this.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you need some help? It’s slow. I can do this for you.”

    Customer: “What, do you think you know about cars? I’m on the phone with my husband and he knows more about it than you do. Just do the d*** exchange so I can get some oil.”

    (I do the exchange. She comes back up with oil.)

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s 50 weight. You don’t want that, you want 40 weight.”

    Customer: “This is what my husband said to get.”

    Me: “Oookay. Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to help?”

    Customer: “No. You’re a girl and you don’t know what you’re talking about. My husband works for [Company] and he knows way more about it than some clerk!”

    Me: “Well, maybe he does, Ma’am, but he’s not here.”

    Customer: “Just ring me up.”

    Me: “Okay, if you’re sure you don’t need help.”

    Customer: “I don’t need your help.”

    Me: “Yes, Ma’am. You have a nice day, now.”

    Customer: “Whatever.”

    (I watch through the front window as she went back to her SUV and smugly poured her oil… into her radiator. I wonder what her husband said when her engine blew up halfway across the causeway.)

    Full Of Coffee And Appreciation

    | PA, USA | Awesome Customers

    (I’m manning the coffee area during the morning ‘coffee rush’, which means I’m basically making pot after pot after pot of coffee nonstop for about three hours. About halfway through, a nicely-dressed woman comes up to the counter. I smile at her and turn away to get yet another pot started.)

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Yes? How are you?”

    Customer: *smiles* “I appreciate you.”

    Me: “Really?”

    Customer: “Yes, for always having the coffee filled!”

    Me: “Thank you!”

    (Thank you, Customer. It’s nice to be appreciated!)

    Page 3/2512345...Last