More Taxing To Some People

| Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(A customer brings a pack of gum to the counter. The MSRP, 69 cents, is printed on it.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be 75 cents.”

Customer: *practically yelling* “No, it says 69 cents right here!”

Me: “Yes, and sales tax makes it 75.”

Customer: “Tax is 8 cents to a dollar, and this is less than a dollar, so there isn’t supposed to be any tax on it!”

Me: “That’s… that’s not how sales tax works…”

(He left without buying the gum.)

In Good Companion Company

| Robeline, LA, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(I have two piercings in each ear and am wearing some very geeky earrings. Customers keep commenting on one pair, Nintendo controllers, but are confused as to what the other pair is. Until a young girl, who is maybe six, comes in with her mom.)

Little Girl: *wide eyed* “Is that a Tardis!?”

Me: *smiling* “Yes, it is! No one has figured it out all day.”

Little Girl: *excitedly* “Does that mean you’re the Doctor?!” *to her mom* “Is the Doctor a girl now?!”

Mom: *sternly* “No, the Doctor isn’t a girl.”

Little Girl: *sadly* “Oh…”

Mom: *brightly* “But that just means she’s his companion!”

Little Girl: “OH!” *grins* “Yeah! The Doctor does like gingers, doesn’t he?”

Me: *putting a finger to my lips* “Shh! Don’t tell anyone my secret!”

Little Girl: “Okay!”

(After her mom pays for their things, the little girl turns and waves before they leave.)

Little Girl: “By Miss the Doctor’s Companion! Beware the Daleks!”

(Best customers ever!)

Doesn’t Have The Magic Touch

| LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Religion

(My coworker and I are discussing Harry Potter: which book was our favorite, which movie, what we would have liked to have seen in the movies, etc. when a customer walks in.)

Customer: *scowling at us* “You shouldn’t read those books. They teach the devil’s work!”

(My coworker and I reply at the same time.)

Coworker: “Not really.”

Me: “Not in the slightest.”

Customer: “YES, THEY ARE! They have magic in them so they teach the devil’s work!”

Me: *smiling* “Humor me here, okay?”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Your little girl watches Disney, right? And she really loves the Disney Princesses, right?”

Customer: *proudly* “Yes! She’s growing up on good, wholesome family movies like I did!”

Me: “Okay, so she loves the Princess movies. Who is her favorite?”

Customer: “Right now it’s Rapunzel.”

Me: “You mean the Disney Princess who has magical hair because her mother ate a magical plant to save her when she was pregnant with Rapunzel? The same Rapunzel who was kidnapped by a witch and kept in a tower?”

Customer: “Yes! The witch was evil! She wanted to use Rapunzel’s magical hair all for herself.”

Me: “Right. Rapunzel’s magical hair that healed people when she sang.”

Customer: *snottily* “What’s your point?”

Me: “My point is that you let your child watch Disney movies that are full of talking animals, magical hair, enchanted furniture, etcetera, etcetera, but you don’t think my coworker and I should read Harry Potter because it has magic in it, making it the devil’s work.”

Customer: “That’s right!”

Me: “You see the flaw in your logic, right?”

Customer: *loudly* “There is no flaw! Magic is evil and that’s that!”

Me: *rubbing my temples* “Right. Did you actually need anything tonight?”

Customer: “No! I think I’ll go to the dollar store down the street instead!”

Me: “You do that, ma’am.”

Loud And Clear-ly Annoying

| St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I am a part time clerk assisting my manager on register during the morning rush. The next customer in line is a middle aged woman and her son who looks to be around eight.)

Me: “Good morning. Is this all for you?”

Boy: *yelling loudly* “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

Me: “Well, thank you.”

Boy: “SAY WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

Me: “Um… thank you?”

Boy: “SAY WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

Me: *realizing the kid isn’t asking for me to repeat myself but giving a command* “Okay, what did you say?”

Boy: *even louder* “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

(My manager and several of the customers are looking our way, obviously annoyed with the boy. I tell the customer her total and she goes to pay.)

Boy: “ARE YOU EVER GOING TO GET A REAL CAREER OR ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE TRASH OUT ALL YOUR LIFE?”

(I blink and am at a total loss for words. Several other customers’ jaws drop and my manager is trying to keep from laughing.)

Customer: “Oh, my goodness, I am so sorry! I can’t believe…”

Boy: “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

Gonna Spread Her Terror Across The Street

, | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Religion

(I’m a customer waiting in line at a local convenience store. A man and a woman walk in, grab drinks out of the cooler and head for the register to pay. Suddenly, the woman throws the drink on the ground.)

Woman: “Oh, h*** no! I don’t buy nothing from no towelhead, Muslim terrorists!”

(The man behind the register, who is Middle Eastern, says nothing.)

Woman: “You know what? F*** this place. I’m going to [Store across the street] and buy my stuff from Americans!”

(Both of them storm out the door and head across the street. I walk up to the counter.)

Me: “Well, that was interesting.”

Clerk: “They’re not going to like it any better over there.”

Me: “No?”

Clerk: *laughing* “My brother owns that store!”

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