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    Time Waits For No Ham

    | Pittsburgh, PA,USA | Food & Drink

    (I work at a gas station that offers made-to-order sandwiches. A customer uses a computer to place their order and gets an order number that is called once their sandwich is made).

    Customer: “I’m here for my ham sandwich.”

    Me: “Okay. What is your order number?”

    Customer: “Here, it’s 433. I know I’m a few minutes late.”

    Me: “Sir, that order was ready three hours ago. We threw it away when it sat for half an hour.”

    Customer: “But it’s only 4:40. It has only been 7 minutes.”

    Me: “That is your order number, not the time you are suppose to pick up your order.”

    Customer: “Oh, I was wondering why the time didn’t have the dots between the hour and minutes!”

    Cash Back, Government Style

    | United Kingdom | At The Checkout

    Me: “Okay, that’s £10.00 please.”

    Customer: *handing me cash* “Could I have £10 cash-back as well, please?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, you need to pay on your card to get cash-back.”

    Customer: “Oh, do you?”

    Me: “Yes, otherwise we’d just be giving you money.”

    When Bygones Mean Bi-Gones

    | Kentucky, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “You’re not from around here are you?”

    Customer: “Nope, I’m from Canada.”

    Me: “Oh cool! Do you speak French?”

    Customer: “Yup, I’m bilingual.”

    Other Customer In Line: “Down here, if something’s bi, we shoot it.”

    Trouble Brewing, Part 2

    | Midland, TX, USA |

    (An obviously underage girl sets a 12 pack of beer on counter.)

    Me: “Hi, how’s it going? Can I see your ID?”

    Customer: “Sure!”

    Me: *checks DOB on ID.* “Uhh, ma’am? This says you’re only 17. I can’t sell you the beer.”

    Customer: “What! Let me see that!” *checks ID* “D*** it! I gave you the wrong one. Well, can I buy a pack of cigarettes?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Trouble Brewing

    Information Underload

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, just slide your card and either select credit or enter your PIN.”

    Customer: “It says credit. This is a debit.”

    Me: “I know, ma’am. Just enter your PIN for debit.”

    Customer: “But it says credit!”

    Me: “I know, just put in your PIN like on any debit machine.”

    Customer: “But the button on the screen says credit!”

    (Seeing no end to this conversation, I put my hand over the screen and block her view of it.)

    Me: “Okay, now enter your PIN.”

    (She does so, and not surprisingly her groceries are paid for.)

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