October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Even The Bank Of Dad Has Gone Under

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

(A dad and his three kids who are all around 7 or 8 years old is my checkout line. He is buying four six packs of tall cans of liquor.)

Me: “That will be $26.”

Dad: “Okay.” *pulls money out of his pockets* “Shoot, I only have $20.”

(He turns to one of his kids.)

Dad: “Yo, lend me six bucks.”

Kid: “S***, get your own money!”

Dad: “Come on, I just need six more dollars.”

Kid: F*** you.”

Dad: “Hey, come on! I’ll pay you back when we get home!”

Kid: *hands him some money and mumbles* “Broke a** motherf***er.”

Smoking Oneself Out

| Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout

(We have a policy that if you look under 30, we must card you for age restricted items.)

Customer: “Can I get a pack of [cigarettes]?”

Me: “Can I see your ID?”

Customer: “I don’t have ID on me.”

Me: “Well, we have to see ID if you look under 30.”

Customer: “I look under 30? Well, I’m 29.”

If It Don’t Make Dollars, It Don’t Make Sense, Part 2

| Michigan, USA | Money

Customer: “Can I have a pack of [brand] cigarettes?”

Me: “Sure, that’s $5.51.”

Customer: “Are these the dollar-off ones?”

(I look behind me. There are no dollar-off deals right now.)

Me: “No, sorry, there’s no sale on that kind.”

Customer: “That sign says ‘Save 30 cents on two packs.'”

Me: “Yeah, but you have to buy two packs.”

Customer: “Then will I save a dollar?”

Me: “No, you’d save thirty cents.”

Customer: “Why wouldn’t I save a dollar?”

Me: “Because the sale is for thirty cents?”

Customer: “Oh, okay…”

If It Don’t Make Dollars, It Don’t Make Sense

Placebo Me, Part 2

| USA | At The Checkout

Customer: “I need a pack of blue [brand] 100’s please.”

(I go and get exactly the cigarettes that she requested.)

Me:“Here you go!”

Customer: “No, I need the blue ones!”

Me: “Ma’am, these are blue.” *points to the blue label*

Customer: “No, I want the shorts.”

(I return the 100’s for the kings, still blue.)

Customer: “No! I wanted the BLUE ONE-HUNDREDS! Are you color blind? Do you not know what you’re doing?!”

(I return the kings and return again with the exact same pack of blue 100’s that I gave her the first time.)

Customer: “That’s better. You might want to get your hearing checked.”

Related:Placebo Me

Size Matters, Part 3

| Visalia, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am mopping by our slushie machines when a man approaches me with an empty cup.)

Customer: *holds up our biggest cup size* “Is this a medium?”

Me: “No, that’s an extra-large. This one is the medium.” *shows him medium cup*

Customer: “Oh.”

(The man pulls out a large, which is clearly larger than the medium.)

Customer: “So, is this a small?”

Size Matters, Part 2
Size Matters

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