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    Size Matters, Part 3

    | Visalia, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    (I am mopping by our slushie machines when a man approaches me with an empty cup.)

    Customer: *holds up our biggest cup size* “Is this a medium?”

    Me: “No, that’s an extra-large. This one is the medium.” *shows him medium cup*

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (The man pulls out a large, which is clearly larger than the medium.)

    Customer: “So, is this a small?”

    Related:
    Size Matters, Part 2
    Size Matters

    We Call This A Flirting Faux Pas

    , | Shelton, CT, USA | Uncategorized

    (I’m a new employee at a convenience store. I’m French and my accent is quite noticeable. A regular walks in.)

    Me: “Hi, may I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh, a newbie. I like your accent. French?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “I had a French girl once. I should have never let her go.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir.”

    Customer: “I know one phrase. Je t’aime. Say it.”

    Me: “Okay…Je t’aime.

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means, ‘I love you.'”

    Regular: *triumphantly* “I made you say that you love me!”

    Me: *speechless*

    You Got The Wrong(est) Audition

    , | California, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque

    (I’m working a register as a odd looking man approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, sexy, I have a complaint.”

    (I just ignore the “sexy” part and move on.)

    Me: “What’s the problem, sir?”

    Customer: “That’s not your line! Do you want me in this f***ing porno or what?!”

    Me: “Excuse me?!”

    Customer: “You aren’t the girl, are you?”

    Me: “Um…I’m afraid not.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay, then! Have a good day, miss! God bless you!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number

    Natural Selection, Hard At Work

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer comes with an old toolbox.)

    Customer: “Hey, look what I found just outside…”

    (The customer opens the metal toolbox filled with mushrooms.)

    Customer: “I doubt they’re the kind that make you high.”

    Me: “Um, I wouldn’t eat those. I think they’re destroying angel mushrooms, which are deadly poisonous.”

    Customer: “If they are, then I’ll probably eat them!” *leaves the store and never returns*

    Taste The Rainbow

    | Aberdeen, Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

    (Quality Street is a brand of chocolates here in the UK. They have launched a range of large size versions of their sweets, such as The Big Green Triangle and The Big Purple One.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but do you guys have big, purple ones?”

    (My colleague and I, despite our best efforts, burst into giggles.)

    Customer: “What’s so funn…oh!”

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