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    From Very Important To Very Impotent

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am a customer in line at a convenience store. Customer #1, the lady in front of me in line, is complaining loudly about everything, from the slow service (which wasn’t slow at all) to the way the young clerk is dressed. Finally, Customer #2, the man in front of her, turns around.)

    Customer #2: “I’m sorry if I’m being forward, ma’am, but, may I ask your name?”

    Customer #1: *proudly states her name*

    Customer #2: *relieved sigh* “Oh, thank God! Don’t scare me like that, lady!”

    Customer #1: “…What do you mean?”

    Customer #2: “For a minute there, I thought you were someone who’s opinion mattered! Now I know you’re just a windbag I can safely ignore!”

    (Customer #1 didn’t make a sound until she left!)

    Bubble-gum Butt

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Family & Kids

    (A regular customer comes in with her little boy who is no more than six. She fixes him an Icee and herself a fountain soda and he grabs a piece of 10¢ gum.)

    Customer: “Okay, so we have a fountain drink, an Icee, and he’s got the gum.”

    Little boy: *holding up one finger* “One gum today!”

    (As I’m processing his mom’s transaction, the little boy notices our “anti-theft” mirror. He promptly turns around, crouches slightly, and starts shaking his butt. I start laughing uncontrollably and his mom turns around.)

    Customer: *laughs, then shakes her head* “I have no idea what to say to that!”

    Me: *laughing* “Oh, lord. That was too cute!”

    Long-Handed Short-Change

    | UK | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

    (I have been working for almost 14 hours straight, and have had several difficult customers throughout the day. A customer approaches the counter and places a 4-pack of beer on the counter. I scan it through.)

    Me: “Okay, that will be £5.54, please.”

    (The customer hands over £10.)

    Me: “Okay, so that’s £4.46 change.”

    Customer: “Thank you. Oh wait, this is on offer. It’s only meant to be £4.49.”

    (I check the shelf, and it is indeed meant to be £4.49.)

    Me: “Sorry about that, I’ll just refund your money then charge through the correct price.”

    (I do this. The man now has 2 piles of money. One of £5.54, and one of £4.46. A total of £10. I take £4.49 from the £5.54 pile and put it in the till. This leaves him with £5.51 in two piles. One pile of £4.46 and the other of £1.05.)

    Customer: “Is that us straight now?”

    Me: “Yes. Were fine.”

    Customer: “No! That money there is yours!” *points at the £1.05* “It needs to go in your till. Then you need to give me £1.05 from the till.”

    Me: “Erm… what?”

    Customer: “You’ve f***** up! That money is yours. Put it in the till then give me an extra £1.05!”

    Me: “You want me to put £1.05 in the till. Then take £1.05 out of the till?”

    Customer: “Yes that’s your money.” *points at the £1.05 on the counter* “Put it in the till, then give me £1.05.”

    Me: “Erm… okay?”

    (I do this and the man leaves the shop. I turn to look at my supervisor, who has tears of laughter streaming down his face.)

    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    | Pennsylvania, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m working the cash register. I’m supposed to card anyone who looks under 30 when they are buying cigarettes.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, good. Can I have a box of [cigarette brand].”

    Me: “Sure! May I see your ID?” *the customer looks around 25 years old*

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “I need to see your ID. The law is becoming very strict about carding people and you look under 30.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see! You just want my ID to see my address so you can know where I live. You’re probably going to sneak into my house in the middle of the night and take these back from me. I’m 39. I shouldn’t be carded, so that’s the only reason I see!”

    Me: “Yep, you got me. That’ll be $6.99.”

    Customer: “I’ll be watching. don’t think I won’t be!”

    Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 8
    No ID, No Idea, Part 7
    No ID, No Idea, Part 6
    No ID, No Idea, Part 5
    No ID, No Idea, Part 4
    No ID, No Idea, Part 3
    No ID, No Idea, Part 2
    No ID, No Idea

    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 3

    | Canandaigua, NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (This happens as I’m shopping in a convenience store, and I just recently had my hair dyed purple. Another customer sees my hair and shouts to her daughter, pointing at my hair.)

    Customer: “Oh, my God! Look at that hair! That’s freaking amazing!”

    Me: “Oh… thank you.”

    Customer: *to her daughter* “You can never do that!”

    Daughter: “But, I didn’t even want to-—

    Customer: “No! I won’t let you look like a freak!” *turns to me* “I really love that hair!”
     
     Related:
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 2
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little

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