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    Bubble-gum Butt

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Family & Kids

    (A regular customer comes in with her little boy who is no more than six. She fixes him an Icee and herself a fountain soda and he grabs a piece of 10¢ gum.)

    Customer: “Okay, so we have a fountain drink, an Icee, and he’s got the gum.”

    Little boy: *holding up one finger* “One gum today!”

    (As I’m processing his mom’s transaction, the little boy notices our “anti-theft” mirror. He promptly turns around, crouches slightly, and starts shaking his butt. I start laughing uncontrollably and his mom turns around.)

    Customer: *laughs, then shakes her head* “I have no idea what to say to that!”

    Me: *laughing* “Oh, lord. That was too cute!”

    Long-Handed Short-Change

    | UK | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

    (I have been working for almost 14 hours straight, and have had several difficult customers throughout the day. A customer approaches the counter and places a 4-pack of beer on the counter. I scan it through.)

    Me: “Okay, that will be £5.54, please.”

    (The customer hands over £10.)

    Me: “Okay, so that’s £4.46 change.”

    Customer: “Thank you. Oh wait, this is on offer. It’s only meant to be £4.49.”

    (I check the shelf, and it is indeed meant to be £4.49.)

    Me: “Sorry about that, I’ll just refund your money then charge through the correct price.”

    (I do this. The man now has 2 piles of money. One of £5.54, and one of £4.46. A total of £10. I take £4.49 from the £5.54 pile and put it in the till. This leaves him with £5.51 in two piles. One pile of £4.46 and the other of £1.05.)

    Customer: “Is that us straight now?”

    Me: “Yes. Were fine.”

    Customer: “No! That money there is yours!” *points at the £1.05* “It needs to go in your till. Then you need to give me £1.05 from the till.”

    Me: “Erm… what?”

    Customer: “You’ve f***** up! That money is yours. Put it in the till then give me an extra £1.05!”

    Me: “You want me to put £1.05 in the till. Then take £1.05 out of the till?”

    Customer: “Yes that’s your money.” *points at the £1.05 on the counter* “Put it in the till, then give me £1.05.”

    Me: “Erm… okay?”

    (I do this and the man leaves the shop. I turn to look at my supervisor, who has tears of laughter streaming down his face.)

    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    | Pennsylvania, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m working the cash register. I’m supposed to card anyone who looks under 30 when they are buying cigarettes.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, good. Can I have a box of [cigarette brand].”

    Me: “Sure! May I see your ID?” *the customer looks around 25 years old*

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “I need to see your ID. The law is becoming very strict about carding people and you look under 30.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see! You just want my ID to see my address so you can know where I live. You’re probably going to sneak into my house in the middle of the night and take these back from me. I’m 39. I shouldn’t be carded, so that’s the only reason I see!”

    Me: “Yep, you got me. That’ll be $6.99.”

    Customer: “I’ll be watching. don’t think I won’t be!”

    Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 8
    No ID, No Idea, Part 7
    No ID, No Idea, Part 6
    No ID, No Idea, Part 5
    No ID, No Idea, Part 4
    No ID, No Idea, Part 3
    No ID, No Idea, Part 2
    No ID, No Idea

    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 3

    | Canandaigua, NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (This happens as I’m shopping in a convenience store, and I just recently had my hair dyed purple. Another customer sees my hair and shouts to her daughter, pointing at my hair.)

    Customer: “Oh, my God! Look at that hair! That’s freaking amazing!”

    Me: “Oh… thank you.”

    Customer: *to her daughter* “You can never do that!”

    Daughter: “But, I didn’t even want to-—

    Customer: “No! I won’t let you look like a freak!” *turns to me* “I really love that hair!”
     
     Related:
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 2
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little

    Don’t Be A-Gas-t, Just Being Help-Fuel

    | Robeline, Louisiana, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (It’s around closing time and two customers walk in. One is a regular and the other is a frazzled looking woman who is talking to herself while digging in her wallet.)

    Woman: *mutters to herself* “No money, but I need gas. I wouldn’t worry, but the fuel light is flashing…”

    (She glances my way and I notice that she’s on the verge of tears.)

    Me: “Ma’am? Can I help you?”

    Woman: “I really need gas but this is all I have.” *opens her hand to reveal $0.42*

    Me: “I know how that is. Tell you what… why don’t you go pump $5 and I’ll pay for it, okay?”

    Woman: *wide-eyed* “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m sure. Go ahead, I’ve got it.”

    (The woman walks out looking less distressed. However, the regular gives me a stern frown.)

    Me: “What?”

    Regular: “Why’d you do that?”

    Me: “Because I could only afford to let her get $5. If I wasn’t broke right now, I would have told her to go for $20.”

    Regular: “No, why did you let her get gas on your dime? She could have been lying for all you know!”

    Me: “She looked lost as a goose and terrified. I doubt she was lying. Even if she was, it’s my money, not yours.”

    Regular: “Hmph!” *pays for his items and leaves*

    (As for the woman, she actually came back in the store, wanting my address to send me the money but I insisted it was fine!)

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