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    Don’t Be A-Gas-t, Just Being Help-Fuel

    | Robeline, Louisiana, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (It’s around closing time and two customers walk in. One is a regular and the other is a frazzled looking woman who is talking to herself while digging in her wallet.)

    Woman: *mutters to herself* “No money, but I need gas. I wouldn’t worry, but the fuel light is flashing…”

    (She glances my way and I notice that she’s on the verge of tears.)

    Me: “Ma’am? Can I help you?”

    Woman: “I really need gas but this is all I have.” *opens her hand to reveal $0.42*

    Me: “I know how that is. Tell you what… why don’t you go pump $5 and I’ll pay for it, okay?”

    Woman: *wide-eyed* “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m sure. Go ahead, I’ve got it.”

    (The woman walks out looking less distressed. However, the regular gives me a stern frown.)

    Me: “What?”

    Regular: “Why’d you do that?”

    Me: “Because I could only afford to let her get $5. If I wasn’t broke right now, I would have told her to go for $20.”

    Regular: “No, why did you let her get gas on your dime? She could have been lying for all you know!”

    Me: “She looked lost as a goose and terrified. I doubt she was lying. Even if she was, it’s my money, not yours.”

    Regular: “Hmph!” *pays for his items and leaves*

    (As for the woman, she actually came back in the store, wanting my address to send me the money but I insisted it was fine!)

    Honesty Is The Sweetest Policy

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Top

    (An Hispanic woman and her son, who is about six, come into the store. The mother gets the little boy a soda and he grabs a candy bar. Note: they are standing in the middle of our candy aisle, which I don’t have a completely clear view of.)

    Little Boy: “Mama, can I have this? I’ve been good!”

    Mother: *in English* “No, put it back. I don’t have the money for it and the soda.” *in Spanish* “Just put it in your pocket. She will never know.”

    Little Boy: “No!”

    Mother: *in Spanish* “That stupid b**** will never know! She can’t see you from there!”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Mother: *innocently smiles* “Yes?”

    Me: *in Spanish* “The stupid b**** speaks Spanish.” *in English* “So, if you’re smart, you’ll either put the candy bar on the counter with the soda, or put it back. It’s your choice.”

    (The mother puts the candy bar back, pays for the drink, and then walked out. The little boy lags behind and approaches the counter by himself.)

    Little Boy: *shakes his head* “I don’t know why mama thinks white people don’t know Spanish.” *whispers* “That’s racist!” *normal volume* “Don’t worry, when we get home Daddy and I will put Mama in time-out for being bad and saying a dirty word!”

    (The kid made my day, so I bought him the candy bar for being honest and so adorable!)

    Be Nice If You Want A Slice

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (I’ve brought a large pepperoni pizza with me to work. After I get my customers out of the store, I grab a slice and sit to enjoy it. At this precise moment, a regular who is a total prick walks in. Note: I only share food with people I genuinely like.)

    Me: “Good evening. How are you?”

    Regular: “What’re you doing?” *cranes his neck to see what I’m eating* “Oh! You have pizza! Give me a piece!”

    (I close the box and move it out of his reach.)

    Me: “No way! It’s mine!”

    Regular: “Well, why not? It’s not like you’re going to eat the whole thing, skinny b****!”

    Me: “Yeah, like insulting me is going to convince me to give you a slice.”

    Regular: “Why can’t you just give me a piece?! You’re not going to eat the whole thing! Skinny b****es don’t eat much!”

    Me: “You’re not getting my food. ”

    Regular: “Well, I’ll tell [my manager]. She’ll make you give me a piece!”

    Me: “Yeah, go ahead. She’s in the office.”

    (The regular opens the office door and pokes his head in.)

    Regular: [My manager], [my name] won’t share her pizza! Make her share!”

    My Manager: “It’s her pizza. She bought it with her own money. I can’t make her give it to you.”

    Regular: “What!? But I want pizza!”

    My Manager: “Well, go buy yourself one then.”

    Regular: *storms out without buying anything*

    My Manager: “That was strange.”

    Me: “Yep.” *holding out the box* “Want a slice?”

    Where There’s Smoke, There’s Backfire, Part 2

    | Lincoln, NE, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (A young customer is trying to purchase cigars, so I ask for his ID. Note: I’m Caucasian, and so is he.)

    Customer: “Why you askin’ for my ID for cigars? They ain’t cigarettes.”

    Me: “It is a tobacco product and illegal to sell to minors.”

    Customer: “That’s bulls***! Gimme a swisher! You’re just racist against me! Gimme a f***ing swisher!”

    (Suddenly, the customer behind him speaks up. It turns out they’re a police officer.)

    Officer: “He can’t without your ID. If you have a problem with it, let’s go outside. We can call your parents and we’ll have discussion about disturbing the peace.”

    Customer: *turns pale and leaves*

    Related:
    Where There’s Smoke, There’s Backfire

    You Say Barokee, I Say You Need To Pee

    | Sardis, BC, Canada | Health & Body, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a convenience store on the way to a lake (popular with tourists), and the till faces the front door. Currently, two women are in line, the first of which is paying with her debit card. Her back is to the door, and her head is down. Suddenly, a man comes bursting through the door yelling. Both women are incredibly startled.)

    Man: “BAAARRRROKEE!”

    Woman #1: “Oh my God!” *bolts upright*

    (Woman #2 starts laughing hysterically, while Woman #1 has stopped in the middle of entering her pin to stare.)

    Man: “BAAAAAA. ROOOOOO. KEEEEEEE. BAROOKEE. BAROOKE!”

    Me: “Bathroom key?”

    Man: “Yeah! Barookee!”

    (He runs off in the direction of the bathroom, arms literally flailing.)

    Woman #2: “How did you know what the heck he was saying?”

    Me: *deadpan* “I speak tourist.”

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