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    Trouble Brewing, Part 3

    | Virginia Beach, VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (A customer buys a big bottle of beer and takes it out of the store in a brown paper bag as required by law. He returns a few seconds later with only the bag, and this conversation takes place.)

    Customer: “Hey, there’s glass all over your parking lot.”

    Me: “What happened?”

    Customer: “Oh, I dropped my beer.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I grab the broom and dustpan and tell my co-worker to mind the till while I sweep it up. As I’m on the way out the door, the customer stops me.)

    Customer: “So, can I get another bottle of beer?”

    Me: “Why wouldn’t you get another bottle of beer?”

    Customer: “No, I mean, don’t I get a free one?”

    Me: “Why would you get a free beer?”

    Customer: “I dropped it in your parking lot!”

    Related:
    Trouble Brewing, Part 2

    Their Purchasing Power Has Gone Up In Smoke

    | Emporia, KS, USA | Top, Underaged

    (I work in a convenience store across the street from a university. A car load of four kids pull up to the store.)

    Customer #1: “I want a pack of cigarettes.”

    Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

    Customer #1: *angry* “I’m 18, I don’t need to show you my f***ing ID.”

    Me: “Sir, if you don’t obviously look old enough, I have to ask.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t have my ID!”

    Customer #2: “It’s okay, dude. I’ll buy them for you.”

    Me: “No, you won’t, sir. Since I know you are buying for him, and he doesn’t have ID, I can’t sell to you.”

    Customer #2: “Bulls***! Give me the f***ing smokes!”

    Me: “Sorry, no.”

    Customer #3: “Fine, I have my ID. I’ll buy for everyone.”

    Me: “Now I can’t sell to you, sir.”

    (An argument ensues at which point, I keep telling them that if I know that I am selling to someone who is buying for a person who doesn’t have his ID, I cannot by law sell them cigarettes. Finally all four leave, get into their car and move their car to the parking place on the side of the building. The fourth customer gets out, comes up to the counter and asks for four packs of cigarettes. Now, I know he is buying for his friends, but if he doesn’t admit this, I can sell him the smokes without any problems.)

    Me: “Are you buying for the customers that were just in here?”

    Customer #4: “Yes.”

    Me: “I can’t sell to you either. Have a good night.”

    (About an hour later, the police show up at the store. They inform me that they received an anonymous call claiming I was handing out baggies of white powder.)

    From Very Important To Very Impotent

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am a customer in line at a convenience store. Customer #1, the lady in front of me in line, is complaining loudly about everything, from the slow service (which wasn’t slow at all) to the way the young clerk is dressed. Finally, Customer #2, the man in front of her, turns around.)

    Customer #2: “I’m sorry if I’m being forward, ma’am, but, may I ask your name?”

    Customer #1: *proudly states her name*

    Customer #2: *relieved sigh* “Oh, thank God! Don’t scare me like that, lady!”

    Customer #1: “…What do you mean?”

    Customer #2: “For a minute there, I thought you were someone who’s opinion mattered! Now I know you’re just a windbag I can safely ignore!”

    (Customer #1 didn’t make a sound until she left!)

    Bubble-gum Butt

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Family & Kids

    (A regular customer comes in with her little boy who is no more than six. She fixes him an Icee and herself a fountain soda and he grabs a piece of 10¢ gum.)

    Customer: “Okay, so we have a fountain drink, an Icee, and he’s got the gum.”

    Little boy: *holding up one finger* “One gum today!”

    (As I’m processing his mom’s transaction, the little boy notices our “anti-theft” mirror. He promptly turns around, crouches slightly, and starts shaking his butt. I start laughing uncontrollably and his mom turns around.)

    Customer: *laughs, then shakes her head* “I have no idea what to say to that!”

    Me: *laughing* “Oh, lord. That was too cute!”

    Long-Handed Short-Change

    | UK | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

    (I have been working for almost 14 hours straight, and have had several difficult customers throughout the day. A customer approaches the counter and places a 4-pack of beer on the counter. I scan it through.)

    Me: “Okay, that will be £5.54, please.”

    (The customer hands over £10.)

    Me: “Okay, so that’s £4.46 change.”

    Customer: “Thank you. Oh wait, this is on offer. It’s only meant to be £4.49.”

    (I check the shelf, and it is indeed meant to be £4.49.)

    Me: “Sorry about that, I’ll just refund your money then charge through the correct price.”

    (I do this. The man now has 2 piles of money. One of £5.54, and one of £4.46. A total of £10. I take £4.49 from the £5.54 pile and put it in the till. This leaves him with £5.51 in two piles. One pile of £4.46 and the other of £1.05.)

    Customer: “Is that us straight now?”

    Me: “Yes. Were fine.”

    Customer: “No! That money there is yours!” *points at the £1.05* “It needs to go in your till. Then you need to give me £1.05 from the till.”

    Me: “Erm… what?”

    Customer: “You’ve f***** up! That money is yours. Put it in the till then give me an extra £1.05!”

    Me: “You want me to put £1.05 in the till. Then take £1.05 out of the till?”

    Customer: “Yes that’s your money.” *points at the £1.05 on the counter* “Put it in the till, then give me £1.05.”

    Me: “Erm… okay?”

    (I do this and the man leaves the shop. I turn to look at my supervisor, who has tears of laughter streaming down his face.)


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