There’s Nothing To Fear But Beer By Itself

| Manteo, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(During the night shift at the 24-hour gas station, it’s against policy to have the store open from midnight to five if you’re working alone. My coworker hasn’t shown up, so I am doing some cleaning while the store is temporarily closed and locked. A customer bangs angrily on the door. After several mimes of miming ‘Sorry!’ and pointing to the ‘Closed’ sign, I open the door a crack, figuring she might be in trouble or have run out of gas.)

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Open the door!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we’re closed. I’m not allowed to be open from midnight to five.”

Customer: “You’re CLOSED?!”

Me: “Yes! Well… is it an emergency?”

Customer: “It is an emergency! I need beer!”

The Time Travel Times

| Rotherham, England, UK | Crazy Requests

(We sell daily and weekly newspapers. The weekly papers come out on a Thursday. It is a Wednesday morning, and I am putting the daily papers out.)

Customer: “Has tomorrow’s [weekly paper] come in today?”

Me: “Tomorrow’s [weekly paper]?”

Customer: “Yes, I want tomorrow’s [weekly paper]. Have they come in today?”

Me: “No, tomorrow’s [weekly paper] comes in tomorrow.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I was hoping to get tomorrow’s paper today. Do you need to check?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m pretty sure tomorrow’s [weekly paper] comes in tomorrow, seeing as they probably haven’t even started printing them yet.”

Customer: “Well, there’s no need to be like that.”

Driving The Point Home

| Robeline, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Theme Of The Month

Customer #1: “Man, that’s a nice car. I’d love to have it.”

(I glance out the window and see my brother’s friend pull up to a gas pump in his ’69 Chevelle. He is a young black man. I am grinning as I turn to the two of them.)

Me: “Don’t even ask if he’ll sell it to you, because he won’t do it.”

Customer #2: “Hmph. I wonder how someone like him got a nice car like that.”

Me: “His family brought it with them when they moved here from California. It was basically a piece of junk, but he restored it with his dad.”

Customer #2: “Oh, is that so? How would you know?”

Me: “Yes, that’s so. He’s a good guy, and happens to be one of my brother’s best friends. He and his cousin would come to our house all the time when we were in high school, and they’re both like brothers to me. I don’t like that you’re trying to imply he got that car by stealing it, or doing something illegal to get it, just because he’s black!”

Customer #2: “Well, I… I… uh…”

(Customer #2 leaves quickly. Customer #1 is left laughing.)

Me: “Serves him right for being a bigot!”

More Beer, Less Fear

| AZ, USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal

(I walk over to the convenience store to get a drink. As I’m going inside, I see two police officers with a man in handcuffs in front of the building. I start a conversation with the employees.)

Me: “Looks like you guys had an interesting morning.”

Employee #1: “I can’t believe it; he just sat out there waiting for the cops after he stole the beer.”

Me: “Huh?”

(One of the officers comes in.)

Officer: “So, what happened here?”

Employee #2: “He got the 12-pack from the cooler and stood in line, but then he just walked out without paying. I called for him to stop, but he just said ‘I’ll wait out here for the cops’.”

Officer: “He didn’t try to run?”

Employee #2: “No, he just opened the case and started drinking a can of beer right outside the store!”

Cashier Doesn’t Register The Cash

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

(I’m showing a new employee the basics of working behind the counter. Everything is going well and it’s a quiet night, so I decide to call my mum and ask if she could lend me some money for the night. As I am on the phone, one of my regular customers comes in. I tell the new employee to have a go of the till on his own. I finish the conversation with my mum.)

Regular Customer: “Hi, how are you?”

Me: “I’m alright thanks, yourself?”

Regular Customer: “Yeah, I’m not too bad. Were you asking your mum to borrow money there?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m supposed to be going bowling tonight with my friends, but I’m a bit low on cash. She said it would be alright if I paid her back when I get my wages.”

(We have a chat as we usually do. She tells me she was always borrowing money when she was my age.)

Regular Customer: “Okay, well I hope you have a nice night!”

Me: “I will, thanks a lot; see you later.”

(She leaves, only to come back a minute later, and talks to me incredibly fast.)

Regular Customer: “You’re always really friendly and have a chat with me. Here, take this; enjoy your night!”

(She slams a £10 note on the counter, and runs off into the night before I can even say anything.)

Me: “WHAT? WAIT! THANK YOU?!”

(I try to catch her to tell her she doesn’t need to do that, but she is away in her car before I can even get out from behind the counter.)

Me: “I… I don’t even know what just happened. That is the nicest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Coworker: “Does this happen a lot?”

Me: “Never! This never happens. You just witnessed history.”

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